XXVII. A Map of the World: Two Strategies for Seduction All of the techniques and distinctions you are learning to use have a single goal: Leading your female listener to experience more pleasure than she was experiencing a moment before. There are two basic strategies you can employ to further this goal: 1. Get her thinking about a pleasurable experience, one that she hadn’t really considered before. 2. Get her thinking about some pleasurable fantasy or memory that’s latent within her. Approach One, in which you tell her about an experience--your experience, perhaps, or your friend’s experience, or really, any experience- without asking for any information from her, is usually the best place to start. Why? When you start off telling her about an experience, as opposed to asking her about her experiences or values, she’s much less likely to feel threatened, invaded, or put on the spot. By feeding her descriptions filled with imagery and emotional abstraction, you make her feel good while letting her feel safe. From her perspective, it seems as if you are inviting her into your inner world. Basically, you are taking her out of her present circumstances, and by feeding her rich, pleasurable descriptions, you are taking her someplace she will like more. Once you feed one pleasurable description, feed her another and another and another. Describe a given emotion three or five or seven ways. Take your time. Then move to another, slightly more intense emotion. Move from talking about comfort, for example, to talking about learning. Describe that emotion three or five or seven ways, at length and in detail. Quote a friend, real or imaginary, on the subject of the emotion you’re describing, so that you seem to be telling your listener your friend’s opinion on the matter. Approach Two consists of probing your listener’s inner world—that is, her beliefs, values, fantasies, and pleasurable memories—and then using what she tells you to increase her pleasure. Once your listener has relaxed, and if she seems comfortable answering questions about herself, find out her values. Ask her questions like, What makes your good friends different from your friends?, and then, What makes your lovers different from your good friends? Ask her what she likes about what she studies, or her job. Feed the values, the emotional abstractions that she names back to her—if she talks about how important “challenge” or “excitement” is, wait awhile, then start describing “challenge” or “excitement” in descriptive, “romantic” ways. You can have her think of a pleasant memory, and then experiment with her subjective experience of the memory. For example, you can tell her to make the mental picture larger, brighter, more colorful— tell her to look at the memory as if she’s experiencing it, instead of seeing herself in the image--tell her to make the picture a movie rather than a still frame. You can tell her to make the sounds in the memory louder, or tell her to hear the sounds from the memory seem to come from outside herself. You can tell her to notice where in her body the good feelings begin, and then notice the texture and temperature of those feelings—tell her to make the feeling more intense, and to move the feeling through her body, or feel it around her, engulfing her. Et cetera. (These subjective details of perception, seemingly trivial but in fact bizarrely powerful, are called submodalities in NLP.) Once you know one of her pleasant fantasies (relaxing on a beach, for example) or memories, you can describe it back to her, using rich sensory detail and while describing emotion after emotion after emotion. Ideally, you should combine the two approaches. In most cases, you should begin by describing pleasant states. After you’ve engaged her attention, made her comfortable and relaxed, you should ask questions that elicit her values, and perhaps her fantasies. Once you know her values, feed her values—her emotional keywords--back to her; offer more pleasant descriptions, with her keywords sewn into your descriptions. And as you evoke stronger emotions and elicit more intense emotions, you can probe for deeper information about her desires—information that you then use in the next group of descriptions. And so on, back and forth. Describe; probe; describe. As you create more and more rapport, going deeper into the Inward Spiral which is her Self, you can describe more and more potent emotions. Having begun with comfort, you can proceed to wonder, thence to pleasure, thence to passion, and finally to love or passion or surrender. As you describe states of ever greater intensity, your descriptions should begin to include more and more erotic metaphors. Remember, so long as you act as if you don’t realize your metaphors can be interpreted as being sexually suggestive, she’ll have a very strong tendency to rationalize that you’re not being sexual. She’ll instead remind herself that you’re being passionate and intense and poetic...even though she’s getting sexually aroused.
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