XXI. The Four Modes of Female Response For our purposes, it’s useful to group women into four types. These aren’t Galen’s Four Temperaments, or even Keirsey’s neo-Jungian Four Temperaments derived from the work of Myers and Briggs. Our four types don’t constitute a personality grid, because they have little to do with personality per se. (If you want to know how to use personality types as a tool of influence, order Gut Impact, available from www.sexualkey.com) Our four types simply represent some typical styles of response a given woman may employ on a given day, when you approach her. A particular woman may employ a different response mode at some other time, based on her mood or her degree of rapport with you. The Four Types: Revealer Concealer Contrarian Sensualist Revealers: Most of those you meet will be Revealers—that is, they will give you a fair amount of information when you ask them about their values. They will usually exhibit strong, visible responses when you induce strong feelings through your descriptions, and they tend to be open to talking about their values, thoughts, emotions, and sensations. In fact, they may interrupt your monologues to tell you about what they’re feeling—when they do, they’ll probably also disclose their values, so listen. Revealers want your understanding—i.e., they want you to listen. Signs of a Revealer: She’s comfortable talking about her emotions and feelings. Occasionally, she can be so eager to share her internal experience that she’ll interrupt you. How to Stimulate a Revealer: Ask her questions about her values and feelings. Listen to what she tells you—let her talk herself into arousal-- and then incorporate her keywords into your monologues. Then again listen for more feedback. Concealers: Concealers tend to be reluctant to talk about their values and their internal experiences. Typically, this stems from suspicion, a fear of inadequacy, or both. Highly disciplined professional women, fragile introverts, and formerly-fat girls are all frequently Concealers. When a woman is in Concealer mode, you should be prepared to feed her many, many descriptions while refraining from asking her many questions. They’ll usually eventually open up, but they need to be warmed up, and their confidence should be gained, by hearing many things from you first. Bear in mind that persistent signs of fragility suggest that someone is skating on thin ice, emotionally; such people can lash out in extreme, impulsive, and desperate ways. Concealers value trust. Signs of a Concealer: She’ll avoid answering questions about her values and internal experiences. Conversely, she’ll often listen greedily to what you tell her about your experiences or others’ experiences. How to Stimulate a Concealer: Don’t pry. Instead, tell her lots and lots about your experiences and those of others. Contrarians: Contrarians tend to be very open about telling you how your descriptions don’t match her experience, and how your inferences and assumptions about her are wrong, and how, generally, she is nothing like what you think. Typically, you should agree with what a Contrarian says, but then rely on the Don’t Equals Do corollary to the Pink Elephant Principle: Couch your commands in negations. “No, there’s absolutely no way you can feel incredibly good right now.” “There’s no way you can feel the sunlight penetrating all the way inside you.” You can also use the sort of tag questions associated with high-pressure salesmen: “You can feel good…can you not?” “You like this…don’t you?” A subset of Contrarians are habituallly hostile and aggressive—and oftentimes, this hostility is a test for weeding out insufficiently aggressive males. In these (rare) cases, the gist of your messages should be this: Don’t be such a bitch and a fool; what you’re saying is bullshit, and only amuses me. When such a woman barks, the most productive response, oddly, is to bark back even more aggressively and contemptuously…sad but true. At any rate, negations fit neatly into expressions of sarcasm and contempt. Contrarians value challenge; hostile ones value extreme dominance. Signs of a Contrarian: She’ll focus on how what you describe differs from her experiences, and probably tell you about these differences. She’ll disagree often. She may try to poke holes in what you’re saying. She may be outright hostile. How to Stimulate a Contrarian: Use negations, challenges, and sometimes forcefulness. As a side note, many of my students who’d felt intimidated by the thought of approaching women had the belief that most women are of the Warrior Contrarian variety. Actually, very few are. And remember, Warrior Contrarians just happen to believe that blatant dominance=strength=worth, and want to be able to smell and feel the waves of testosterone rising from your body. As with Concealers, a significant proportion of truly hostile Contrarians don’t have much emotional flexibility or resilience; in dealing with them, unusual care should be taken. Sensualists: Sensualists tend to respond well to descriptions of pleasurable states, particularly to descriptions of physical pleasure. And they can get impatient when you don’t supply enough descriptions of physical, sensual pleasure, or when you don’t start touching them. On the other hand, some can be made uncomfortable by descriptions of emotional states, particularly descriptions of emotional bonding, as well by questions about internal experiences. Sensualists care about excitement and variety. Signs of a Sensualist: Once you start a description, she’ll typically give you at least a moment or two of undivided attention, so that she can determine how good you can make her feel. Abstract talk of values may bore her. How to Stimulate a Sensualist: Use sensual, sexual talk combined with a fast, smooth transition to physical action. Review 1. There are four general modes of female response. 2. Revealers like talking about their values, experiences, and sensations. You should let them talk. 3. Concealers are reluctant to disclose their internal experiences. Feed them descriptions. 4. Contrarians disagree with what you say. Use negations; if a Contrarian is extremely hostile, outdo her hostility and contempt. 5. Sensualists like blatantly sensual descriptions; they’re also quickly comfortable with physical contact. With Sensualists, you should attempt to get physical relatively fast.
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