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XVII. Referential Ambiguity, or How to Make Sure She Associates the Feelings You Create with Thoughts of You Now that you’ve learned about how to instill intense emotions inside her, how do you make sure she thinks about you when she feels them? How do you make sure she keeps mentally linking you with the good feelings you’ve created? You may have noticed that the examples in this book include many vague phrases like “this experience” and “this person” and “this feeling”. Words like this and that are automatically vague; your listener makes sense of them by considering whatever you are already talking about. But you can also supply alternative interpretations for these words, and the best way to do that is nonverbally—point to yourself as you say “this person” or “this wonderful experience”. The idea is to make her consider different possibilities for what you’re talking about. When there are multiple interpretations possible, your listener, instinctively, will process and respond to them all. If you describe how wonderful Experience X, and then say, “and this is a great feeling, isn’t it?” You could be saying that experiencing X is a great feeling, but you could also saying that the experience of being with you as you talk about X is a great feeling. Since she thinks of both possibilities, she responds emotionally to both suggestions. You could talk about how great it is when “someone special” performs some Action X, and therefore “this person” makes your listener feel Emotion Y. When you refer to “this person,” you should subtly point to yourself. Again, do it subtly, with a slight gesture—enough to catch her eye, but not enough to seem like you’re explicitly pointing. You should point to yourself as if you don’t realize you’re doing it, and so that it seems you’re not really doing it. A movement of your fingers inward, toward your chest, while you say “this person,” is often enough. The examples published in this book often contain things like “Experience X…is a wonderful feeling…This feels good…now…with me…this is how I feel about this.” The phrase, “…now…with me…this is how I feel…” would likely drive your third-grade teacher up the wall, but grammar of crystalline perfection is not the point—the point is to connect the phrase “now…with me” to the prior phrase, “This feels good…” You’re deliberately making it unclear where the sentence ends, by changing…the pace…at which…you…speak. Are you saying, “This feels good. Now, with me, this is how I feel,” or are you saying “This feels good now with me”? You’re saying both, and therefore the woman you’re speaking to will respond emotionally to both. You’re giving her a command about what to feel, and she'll follow it. After you describe a pleasurable state, get into the habit of saying things like the following: “I wonder if you can feel this…Now…with me…I think blah blah blah”; “This is a great experience to have…With me…now…I think blah blah blah”; “Do you sense how these possibilities and feelings connect? Can you… connect them…Now…to me…these connections seem blah blah blah” As it happens, when you induce a feeling, there’s a good chance she’ll automatically associate it with you. But using these sorts of ambiguities, ramming home the idea that she should associate them with you, helps maintain the association once you’re out of the room. If you don’t directly associate yourself with the emotions, she’ll likely just transfer them to her boyfriend. Some of this book’s examples also feature what’s sometimes called the First-Person to Second-Person Perspectival Shift, or, more memorably, the I/You Shift. The I/You Shift happens naturally in conversation, as you get more involved with what you’re saying. In fact, the last sentence contained an I/You Shift. The structure of an I/You Shift is like this: “When I X, I blah blah blah…You know, you X blah blah blah…” “When I experience ZORK, it’s a great feeling. You know, you feel a sense of ZORK and then you begin to WHOOFLE.” You move from describing something your experience from the first-person perspective (“I X”) to describing your experience from the second-person perspective (“You X”). The secondperson perspective allows you to give very strong, explicit commands about what your listener should experience, while it still logically seems as if you are merely describing your own experience. (“When you feel this way, it’s as if your whole body is just on fire with pleasure….now…with me…this is my way of looking at it.”) Review 1. Directly associate yourself with the emotions you produce by using phrases like “with me…now” and “connect them…to me…now”. 2. Subtly point to yourself when you talk about a hypothetical person or experience which makes her feel good. 3. When describing pleasurable states, move from using First-Person Perspective to Second-Person Perspective. Move from saying I to saying You.
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