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Have you ever heard a woman say something like, “I’m not in a place where I’m ready for that right now” or “I’m just not that in that kind of space” or “You and I are in different phases”? As we’ve mentioned, women experience emotions so intensely that emotions to them are all-encompassing and physically engulfing. They are spatial, surrounding her; she is immersed in them, as if she’s a diver in the ocean. They are the lenses through which she experiences events. Emotions, for women, are like places. Her emotional frame—the “emotional place” she’s in—will help determine how she interprets and feels about a new experience. If you want a woman to be open to having sex with you, build her an emotional place within which having sex with you feels appropriate. That is, describe the emotion you are trying to create in spatial terms. “A lot of times, for perfectly good reasons, you can feel closed to experiencing something intense…On the other hand, what’s great is when you suddenly realize you’re in just the right place for this kind of thing. {POINT TO SELF} You know, you feel so comfortable, so open that it’s almost like there are big pillows all around you…big, plush comfortable pillows…and everything is warm, fuzzy, relaxing, soft…and time has slowed down…it’s almost as if you’re in another century, and there’s time to really open and experience powerful things…and everything is lit by soft candle-light…and everything is made of wood…and everything feels good when you touch it…and there are beautiful paintings around you…and jars filled with bread and fruit and grain…and everything you see and hear in every direction just roots you to this spot, in a way that makes you feel more and more like this {POINT TO SELF}is something you need to experience even more deeply…because everything seems so soft…you see a gorgeous chair carven of oak, gorgeous wooden tables…soft soft blankets on a soft soft bed…and everything proves to you, again and again, that you really are in a place where you can now open completely to experiencing something powerful and new {POINT TO SELF}.” Remember, none of the things in the above description need to be anything like her actual physical environment—though if there is a resemblance, that will match her sensory perceptions and deepen the impact of what you’re saying. “Yeah, sometimes you’re just not in the right place for a new relationship. When you are, though, this {POINT TO SELF} can be really wonderful. When I think of what this feels like, I always think of this big room they had in the library of the college I went to—it was always perfectly silent…And it was filled with bean bag chairs and huge pillows…most things were colored peach…or light blue…and the walls all around were brick…and of course the floor was carpeted…and it was very dim. This {POINT TO SELF} was a place everyone would come to rest, to relax, to get in touch with yourself. This is the kind of place that made you realize, Hey, all the things I spend so much time on aren’t my life—all these things aren’t who you are…because a big part of who you are…maybe the most important part of who you are…is your potential…what you haven’t experienced yet…and being in this place…you start to feel truly open to new things {PTS}…and it feels really good…and healthy…and right.” “What’s marvelous…is feeling that someone new {PTS} speaks to that special place…deep inside you…which no-one else knows about…this place…which… since you were a little girl…full of hope…and anticipation…waiting…in this special place…and in this special place, now…with me…it seems…as if this is the place…in your soul…in which you are a princess, a ballerina…and you know…you’re now in this place…when you….begin to feel…that someone is speaking to this place…all the way inside you…that no-one else truly knows…that only this special person {PTS} is meant to speak to…touch… and truly…come…inside.” Women are fond of Secret Hidden Emotional Places—taking off again from Freud, it seems that women regard their innermost feelings (like their genitalia) as concealed, infinite and unknowable—and certainly unknown to, for example, their boyfriends. Women tend to be drawn to the mystically authoritative and to things which can teach them about their own unknown depths and unexplored potential. Women feel they have “places” inside no one else knows about and to which no-one else has ever spoken. Speaking to these “places” can induce trance. Review 1. Treat her emotions as places. 2. To induce states of readiness and openness (or any given emotion), describe the desired emotional state as a physical environment which is surrounding her. Describe the details of this “emotional place” as thoroughly as possible.
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