It’s very important to deal properly with awkward silences. An awkward pause in the conversation means a break in rapport, and that your ability to connect on the topic is temporarily exhausted. You have to deal directly with the silence and attempt to reconnect on the topic later (or find something else to connect on by asking some more open-ended questions). Here are some ways to deal with it directly:

• Defuse the situation with humor: "Oh no, an uncomfortable silence! Don’t panic, it’ll pass". Then as she laughs, think quickly of a way to get back on the connection topic, or of an open-ended question to ask her.
• Look the girl in the eye and ask, "I was wondering…From your point of view…What was it that made you say yes when I asked you out?" (or "What made you stop and talk to me when I approached you?" for a street or bar approach). She'll then go into how attractive you are, how sexy, how intelligent, successful, well dressed, impressive, etc. She is answering all of her "why not" questions before she even gets to the point of asking herself, "Why not this guy?" On a subconscious level she will feel more connected to you and feel like she really made the right decision by going out with you instead of some other guy. Be sure to use the pauses in this statement, and ask the question slowly. This gives some context to the pause you two just hit (i.e. you were just getting ready to ask this question…right?). Also, it’ll make the pause less evident if you start speaking slowly and thoughtfully after it.
• One great tactic for when you hit a silent point is to move to a different location.

If you can't take her to a new location, go someplace (bathroom, get a drink, etc) and come back again. Going to a different location works at several levels psychologically (i.e. helps create a history and time distortion). It also helps you to find new things to talk about because you can comment on the new area, plus it buys time (as does going and coming back again).

Whichever method you use, maintaining eye contact throughout the silences is very powerful. Don’t ever look down or laugh nervously when you hit a pause. Look her in the eyes, smile confidently, and use one of the above tactics.

Cold reading involves telling a woman general statements about herself that she personalizes and accepts as valid and accurate descriptions of her. It’s the technique that psychics and newspaper horoscopes use.

Let’s look at the typical horoscope in the newspaper: "Today you’ll be contacted by an old friend. At work you’ll find yourself faced with a situation you’ve mastered before and you’ll breeze right through it. Finances will play a part in your day." Let’s be realistic; unless you live under a rock, the odds are that someone you’ve known for a while will give you a call or e-mail you (old friend). You’ll pay a bill, receive a paycheck, or be thinking about your money situation at some point (finances). You’ll also be faced with a challenge at work and you’ll survive—since work is challenging to some extent (if a job were easy they wouldn’t pay you to do it).

The reason people believe this stuff is valid is because the statements are so general that anyone can find a life experience to fit the statement. Everything gets filtered and interpreted through a person’s worldview, and fit to their experiences. Using cold reading takes advantage of this and makes it look like you have deep insights into people’s character. People tend to think of themselves as unique (even though they have many characteristics in common with other human beings), and therefore they won’t see the generality in a cold read.

Cold reading is a POWERFUL rapport-building technique. When you "correctly" tell a woman something deep about herself when you first meet her, she’ll find it profound and wonder how you can understand her so well.

Remember though what I said at the beginning of the section about being SINCERE in your rapport building. What you say has to be at least PARTLY true to be accepted, and for you to come across congruently. If she’s a raging party maniac who talks like she’s on speed (she very well could be), you wouldn’t say to her "You strike me as the type of person who’s really calm on the inside". It would be more appropriate to use a read like "You seem to be someone who loves life and gets an adrenaline rush from being in the middle of the action."

In any case, cold reading is NOT lying, it’s simply a general GUESS based on some observation of her character or behavior. You can make a cold read out of almost any observation. Just use the right setup for it:

"You seem to…"

"I get the feeling that..."

"Something tells me that..."

"I just noticed that..."

You can talk about how there’s a side of the woman that’s one way, but there’s another side of them that is its opposite: "You have such a little girl’s smile; it’s so innocent. But I can tell from your eyes that you have a sinister side to you".

Talk about how at times she can be one way, but at other times she can be another way.

Talk about how on the outside she’s one way, while on the inside she’s another way.

Talk about how she appears one way, but in fact she’s really the opposite way: "I bet a lot of people think you’re really mature, but I know better. I can tell from your eyes that you’re really just a little girl at heart."

Here are some full examples:

"You know, listening to the way you say things, I can tell you’re someone who sees the world through her emotions". She’ll find this profound and wonder how you can understand her so well, even though this statement covers 99% of women.

"You seem to be the kind of person who when you really like someone, you want to spend all your time with them... (self-point). But when somebody really annoys you (point away from yourself), you want nothing to do with them." Applies to pretty much anyone, doesn’t it?

To a girl with a life with very little accomplishment: "You have a lot of undeveloped potential" Anyone with a shitty life holds out hope that they’re capable of much more.

To a girl who’s free-spirited: "You often feel hemmed in by restrictions and limitations, and you like to break the rules"

"You never accept anyone's opinion, unless you think about it, and make it your own". Good one for stubborn, argumentative women.

"Your relationships with the opposite sex in the past have given you some

trouble" Best used when the woman accused you early on of player behavior, or displayed man-hating behavior, etc.

"You’re the sort of person who needs admiration and respect from people." Translation: You’re an attention-whore. Suitable for a woman trying hard to impress with clothes or whatever (seeking validation).

"You have a strong sense of justice. Law enforcement would be a good job for you."

"You’re a physical type, I can tell… So in what other ways are you physical?" For physical, "tough" chicks

For shy women: " I don't know if anyone has ever told you this before, but I noticed something really interesting about you." SHUT UP AND WAIT for her response. "You're an observer." (What do you mean, I'm an observer?) "Well, you like to observe people…you're a people watcher, an eavesdropper." (answer) "The thing is this: there are two types of people: people who are observers, like yourself, and people who live in the moment…And I bet when you are truly having fun, you can stop observing and be in the moment completely."

"I'm about to tell you something about you that no one has ever told you..."

To a hot woman who's acting arrogant: "You don't have me fooled for a minute, dear." (What are you talking about?) "Well, I know that most men fall for this 'I'm beautiful and aloof and I get my way' part of your personality... but I know something that none of them know... that there's really another side of you. A side that none of THEM get to see. I'll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who's only known you for 5 minutes has EVER known... <pause pause pause>... You may act tough, but you're actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn't bother you...but you'll think about it all the way home... I know that secretly you're as sensitive as a little girl... it's just that most people never get to meet that part of you..."

For club girl: "I know you go out on weekends with the mindset of "I'm never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and I like to have free drinks... and I love to dance with my girlfriends and be a tease... and I love the power of shooting men down while pretending to be annoyed by it... etc." Shows her you're onto her game!

Many women harbor contempt for their beauty. At a certain level, they’re kept from living a real life and being closer to the real world simply because fewer and fewer people can relate to them in proportion to how 'beautiful' they are and make themselves. Addressing this topic when speaking to women is VERY powerful. "Beauty is a curse."

If she's being cold or acting tough: "Some women may act tough, but it's an ACT...you see it on their faces when they sleep, that vulnerability and desire to be protected that comes naturally from being a woman...The innocent desire to find love one day, and live out the fantasies she had while growing up...That's what I love about women...underneath it all there's that endearing vulnerability... You don't have me fooled for a minute, dear."

The key to cold reading is to really start OBSERVING people. You can use canned cold reads all you want, but being able to point out something you observed personally on the girl is much more powerful.

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