Verbal communications are only one way to develop rapport. The above verbal techniques are very effective at building rapport, but BY FAR the most effective tools for developing deep report is MATCHING and MIRRORING. These techniques use non-verbal cues to forge a bond.

Matching is the art of adopting the girl’s same tone of voice and her tempo/rate of speech, as well as body language. If SHE speaks slowly, you speak slowly. If SHE has a dry tone, you adopt a dry tone. By slowing or speeding up your voice to match hers, and adopting the same tone of voice as her, she thinks "This person’s just like me". It also subconsciously puts her more at ease because her communication isn’t in conflict with YOUR tone and/or tempo.

Mirroring is the art of imitating someone’s body language. It involves adopting her posture, her gestures, seating position, stance while standing, and eye contact (including duration of eye contact). If she holds her glass up high, you hold your glass up high. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If she cocks her head to the side, you cock your head to the side. If she’s expressive with her hands, you become expressive with your hands. Mirroring communicates to her on a subconscious level that the person she’s talking to understands her. It’s important not to follow her body language immediately, since she may pick up on it and think that you’re mimicking her and mocking her. Instead, leave a 3-second lag between her body language changes and yours. For example, she takes a sip of her water, you wait 3 seconds and then take a sip of YOUR water.

Once you’ve developed deep enough rapport using these techniques, you’ll actually be able to LEAD. The woman will begin to unconsciously mirror YOU. You’ll take a sip of your drink, and you’ll see her reaching to sip her drink a few seconds later, following you unconsciously.

If a woman is attracted to you, she won't tell you her problems because she'd be afraid of scaring you away. If you find she starts talking about her depressive disorder or her fights with her mother, still having feelings for her ex-boyfriend, etc. it means either:

1. 1) The girl establishes rapport with people VERY easily and likes to spill her guts (this is quite rare in pickup situations)
2. 2) You’ve gone way overboard into rapport-building territory, and you’ve likely wiped out any attraction you managed to build earlier on in the interaction.

Either way, at this point she’s starting to see you as more of a "nice guy" or friend, and she’s opening the floodgates for her emotional problems to spill out. If you find yourself at this point, you need to act fast to get off this expressway to LJBF-land. You don’t want to end up as an emotional tampon for a woman, soaking up all her pain like a girlfriend with a penis.

The quick solution is to move on to the AMPLIFY phase as soon as possible, with an emphasis on Breaking Rapport. You can directly do this by saying (NICELY):

"You know what? I really don’t want to talk about this topic. Let’s talk about something else." This will break rapport immediately and might even get her to shit-test you, which opens the door up for more attraction techniques.

Or you can say it jokingly:

"If we keep talking about this I’m going to charge you 200$ an hour for therapy. Do you have your credit card with you?"

"Don’t you have any girlfriends to tell this kind of stuff to? Are you trying to turn me into one of your girlfriends??"

One potential downside of the joking approach is that she may actually THINK you’re joking, and that you’re not serious about not wanting to hear about her messed-up life. Some people are just too thick and/or self-centered to get the message. If this is the case, you can then go to using the direct approach.

A skill you need to develop in rapport building is CALIBRATION. You need to "fine-tune" the amount of rapport you use to match the needs of the particular woman you’re interacting with. With deep, librarian-type women you can leave out a lot of the attraction and break rapport infrequently. With superficial party-girl types you can almost leave it out entirely and break rapport frequently, as long as the rest of your game is good. Most women will be somewhere in between, so start with the middle-of-the-road approach and then adjust it from there depending on the reactions you’re getting.

Calibration is a skill that comes mainly from experience talking to women. You have to be able to read their reactions and see if you’re having the desired effect. If you break rapport and the woman starts giving you more indicators of interest, you’re on the right track. If the woman starts to show indicators of non-interest, you’re doing something wrong.

If a woman is showing closed body language, don’t mirror her as it’ll only make her believe that you two definitely won’t get along. Instead, comment on it in a neutral way that makes her feel self-conscious about it:

If her arms are crossed, ask "Are you cold?" She’ll become self-conscious about her body language and open her arms.

If she’s very stiff and tense, say "Relax, loosen up a bit. You look nervous."

The amount of rapport you need to build depends on the outcome you’re going for, and the needs of the woman you’re dealing with. For quick street or club pickups where you just want to get a girl’s number, you’ll only need a little bit of rapport—sometimes just an indirect compliment or a quick cold-read will be enough. For a kiss close, more rapport will be needed. Sex closes will generally require the most prior rapport. Bear in mind though that there are no hard and fast rules here. If the girl is sexually liberal she may have sex with you with very little rapport. Or you might find a girl kissing you within minutes of meeting you. This is because rapport is just one piece of the entire puzzle, and you might get away with a successful close without it. But why risk it? If you see her going for rapport, then take advantage of that and build that connection. Even if you don’t, pitch in a cold-reading or indirect compliment and see what results you get.

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