In the game of attraction, if you try to pull someone closer to you, they’ll resist. And if you try to push them away from you, they’ll want you because you’re a challenge. Doing both (within limits) can be emotionally confusing to a woman, and this builds tension.

Push/pull can be described simply through the following phrase: "I like you…I don’t like you…Wait, I think I like you….Nahh, I don’t like you….Actually, now that I think about it, I like you! Well…I’m not sure…"

By constantly giving approval (pulling) and then taking it back (pushing), you’re leaving ambiguity in your communication and driving the woman crazy. Here’s some examples of push/pull in action:

"You know, you’re kinda cute. I think you’d make a nice girlfriend. WAIT, can you cook? I need a woman who can cook! Oh, you can? Great! I’m impressed. BUT what kind of food do you cook? Oh, Thai? I’m not sure I like Thai. What else can you cook? Italian? Now we’re talking! I like you already! BUT can you cook GOOD Italian food is the question."

"You're my new girlfriend." (pause) "No, I changed my mind, we're broken up." (why) "You're too nice for me...look at you, you're already IN LOVE with me...you don't even know me!" (OMG hahahaha, No I'm not!) "Just look at your body language, man...laughing at all my dumb jokes, falling in love..."

Another example, that’s more serious: "Oh, you have a Masters degree in ______? Great, I LOVE smart women! They’re fun to be around. But are you TOO intellectual? I’m not crazy about women who are too intellectual, they’re not as fun. But I find the field of ______ very interesting, so it would be fun to get to know you I’m sure."

A process like this gets her thinking "Oh, a compliment…I’ve got him! Ummm..maybe not. Oh wait, he DOES like me. Aww no that’s not good enough for him. So does this guy like me or not?"

You can also use your body language for push-pull purposes. Communicate interest one minute by leaning forward, showing enthusiasm, etc, then show indifference the next minute by leaning back, crossing your arms, looking bored, turning your body away from her, etc.

Push/pull is a fine art that needs to be used with caution. Watch your target’s reaction and make sure you’re not going too far. She should be a little frustrated by your ambiguous behavior (this frustration builds sexual tension), but if she’s showing anger you’re probably pushing it too far.

Here are some more examples of push/pull:

GUILTY CONSCIENCE: Provoke her into doing something, then make her feel guilty about it. She goes to kiss you: "I can’t kiss you, you’re like my little sister! That would be like incest." Then pull her to you and kiss her.

BREAKING RAPPORT: Show that you CAN connect with her on some topic, and when she gets into it, change the topic.

GOOD COP/BAD COP: Being mean or condescending but then following it up immediately with a nice estimation. Gets her seeking validation. "You’re so X. You know, I usually don’t get involved with women who are X, but you have a great way of looking at the world so it’s cool, we can hang out."

INTENTIONAL UNDERMINING: "You have SUCH a gorgeous smile." (Thank you). "Actually I know four other people who have really nice smiles, so I’m going to call you number 5."

UNDERMINING RAPPORT: Once rapport is established, say something like "You and I are too alike, we’d never be able to hang out together".

If she wants to wear your jacket/hat/etc: "You have to be very special to wear this hat" Give it to her for a 30-second trial period, then pull it away and make her re-earn it. "Time’s up!"

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