Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies
of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN
EDITION
may have accidentally been shipped outside the South.
If you have
one of these,
you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Southern
edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads:
WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee
superimposed
on a
Confederate flag.
It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message
a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
OK.............................ats aw-right.
Cancel..............................stopdat.
Reset...........................try er agin.
Yes.....................................yep.
No.....................................noop.
Find............................hunt fer it.
Go to...........................over yonder.
Back............................back yonder.
Help........................hep me out here.
Stop.................................kwitit.
Start...........................crank er up.
Settings.................. ......settins.
Programs.................stuff at duz stuff.
Documents.................stuff ah done did.
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize
capital letters or
punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
Tiperiter.................A word processing program.
colerin book.....................a graphics program.
cyferin mersheen.........................calculator.
outhouse paper..............................notepad.
inher-net....................Microsoft Explorer 4.0.
pichers...........................a graphics viewer.
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused
if you received a copy of the
SOUTHERN EDITION.
You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this helps y'all !
Billy Bob Gates
Head Honcho
