Firefighter Jokes
How firefighters identify a HAZMAT chemical using the Tri-COP-Scope Method:
1. Officer standing/Car running: Not hazardous
2. Officer unconscious/Car running: Toxic fumes
3. Officer unconscious/Car stalled: Oxygen displacing chemical
4. Officer/Car both melting: Acidic chemical
5. Officer/Car on fire: extremely flammable
Q: What does CHAOS stand for?
A: The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene!
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched
a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the
pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the
foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking
lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted,
"Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at
the blaze.
Q: If the Chief and a Newbie both jumped out of a burning building at the same
time, which one would hit the net first?
A: The Chief, because the Newbie would have to stop and ask for directions.
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one
day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck
was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said
firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."