Bloody hell, there�s a few grey whiskers that weren�t there last November,
Back in the good old days of opposition, the happiest days that I can remember.
It all started so beautifully, the day I became PM, they cheered me, they loved me, they cried,
The media lauded me like a prodigal son, they lapped up everything I tried.
It was so easy then, so symbolic & shallow; Kyoto, Sorry, Iraq,
And we�d inherited such a great economy, even �we� couldn�t f&*k it up!
Just say the right things and smile and whack a new tax on luxury cars and bourbon & cokes,
With the great economy we�d been handed on a platter, it was all platitudes, back-slaps and jokes.
After 100 days I presented our report card, a glossy endorsement of our so-called achievements,
But after 200 days it�s all gone pear-shaped, and the report card reads like a bereavement.
I need to scam more money from big business, so I�ll introduce an Emissions Trading Scheme,
I must say thank God for the �Climate Change� fanatics, it�s the biggest scam I�ve ever seen!
But inflation�s gone up, unemployment�s on the rise, consumer confidence completely gone,
Little surprise really when you leave the economy in the hands of that moron Swan.
So the pressure�s on, they�re onto me, bringing an end to my fa�ade, my procession,
I�m having trouble shaving, my hand is shaking�OUCH�is that a bloody recession?!
�Get that moron on the phone�.
�Listen here insignificant man from down under,
You play dumb and pretend it�s someone else�s blunder,
But your lying games are failin�,
Leaking falsehoods to �The Australian�,
This behaviour will send you quickly asunder�
�I could tell you were a wanker when you saluted,
When you speak the room is immediately polluted,
With the bullshit that you speak,
You�re a weak meek freaky geek,
With you in charge, Australia is rooted.�
�Your ego has no limit since you�ve been empowered,
But you�re nothing more than an untruthful lying coward,
You make it up as you go along,
Getting every decision wrong,
What were they thinking when they voted out John Howard�?
�So as I near the final months of my reign,
Promise me you�ll never speak to me again,
Even if you feel you must,
You�re a man I cannot trust,
I don�t need the lies, the stress or the pain.�
�When you come here for the G20 meeting,
Any contact with you I�ll ensure is but fleeting,
And you�ll sit in the dark, riding pillion,
With some smelly insignificant Brazilian,
As we speak I�m just putting the final touches to the seating.�
�How dare you leak details of a private conversation,
Such treachery causes me much frustration,
You speak untruths & bull carte blanche,
So like the old bulls on my ranch,
I�m recommending your immediate castration�.