Meeting Flo for the first time was, at the very least, an interesting experience. I mean, how was I supposed to feel? After all, this relationship is akin to an arrannged marriage! I don't even know if they still do that in India! But I know for sure they don't all wear black in India. We will most certainly be doing something about Flo's wardrobe. Any best friend of mine is going to learn about fashionable color, especially now that the spring pastel collections are here. Well, all that is a worry for a later time. For the present I just need to share my story. Flo says she just want to chill. So, I'll let her do her thing while I do mine.
It all went so very well. I'm home on 4 nanograms. They wanted me to stay another day and go up to 5, but I say who actually NEEDS that many grandmothers? And then there was the problem with laughter. There had been entirely too much of it going on in my room. I HAD to leave for the benefit of the actual sick people there. And just so you know, the PLLs (Picc Line Ladies) were the worst offenders. Of course, I'm certain you all realize that I personally did not contribute to such silliness. And after word got out even the cleaning ladies got in on the act. One spoke near spanish and the other near, or real, Chinese.....I couldn't tell which. But they laughed all the same, so I did too, all the while shaking my head and saying 'yes' like I was getting it. They seemed to leave the room happy enough so I don't suppose it mattered that I hadn't a clue about the content of their chatter. The laughter was all that was important.
All the typical things happened. Some new group called Side Effects made their initial performance. Their audience of one (ME, of course) tried to ignore them, but finally called for the nurse who promptly drugged them. They were the cutest little guys, but their mothers gave them the goofiest names, like Jaw Pain, Head Ache, and Red Face. Finally it dawned on me! They were born on a reservation! Except for the one guy, DyArya. I suspect he was born in a public restroom someplace.
Well we all mixed until we were thoroughly mixed up. After that I began to make a great effort to make friends with Flo. I tried to bring her in on the humorfest, but she was stone cold quiet and was quite comfortable just hanging around. Actually, I don't have much hope that she will ever warm up. So we finally gave up and when we got home we put her guts in the refrigerator. Nobody else was using that room anyway, except for Chicken Little and a dozen of her eggs. I think they'll all get along fine unless I get sloppy and try to attach a drumstick to the pump one day.
We'll talk again in the morning. I have sleeping to do now. They didn't offer much of that to me in the hospital.
Good morning everyone. The entire household slept well here last night, in spite of Flo's 24/7 snoring. Or perhaps it's actually wheezing, but I'm afraid to ask before I know her a little better. I already mentioned that her tubing looked a little stringy and it did NOT go over well.
If there's one thing I've already discovered it's that "it's all about HER". I don't know just who told her she's the top of life's priority list, but I'd sure like that person to have to live with her for a weekend. I'm going to demand that some adjustments be made RIGHT NOW, and just watch, between me and Flo I'll likely end up doing ALL of them.
But she's not as bad as some of the other rude companions I met in Room 804 West. I don't know their names. I made it clear I didn't WANT to be introduced. However, they turned out to be party crashers of the highest order. It was obvious from the beginning that they had parasitic personalities. I met up with four of them and made friends with none. All I know about their personal lives is that they like sports and play for the I.V. Team. Oh! And Motel 6 is not good enough for them. They like to stay overnight in human veins! Well, like I said, there were four of them. But only one was able to snuggle in for a night. And then when the manager kicked him out for collapsing, I had no choice.......I had to cry. Yep, the laughing stopped for about an hour. I introduced everyone who cared to watch to my most pathetic tears. You see, the only good vein left was in my hand. I'd had enough, and for me, my hand is the most painful of playing fields for those guys. Well, I made such a fuss the I.V.Team was shaken to the point of...........you got it!........LEAVING ME ALONE! Since I didn't even NEED an I.V. in first place they said they would come back only in case of an emergency. I promptly locked the door after hanging my sign "No Emergencies Allowed". An hour later the laughter returned.
Well, Flo is hungry now so I best meet her demands. We're having take out today. She tells me she orders the same thing every day......chilly.....served in a cassette of course, with extra ice packs on the side......oops........sides.