IS IT CONTAGIOUS?

My friends, this is serious business! For many years I have suspected there was some hidden force drastically affecting our country. Now I believe I have finally stumbled across the answer. It is something so overwhelmingly devastating, powerful and insidious it could eventually destroy our society as it is known today. It apparently started and seems to be most prevalent in some of our northeastern States, but it is spreading. I hate to admit it, but the environmentalists are right! It has to be the water! There can be no other explanation for it.

Although most people seem to be immune, there are enough obviously affected by this disease to continually vote for and keep in office the likes of the following:

Ted Kennedy, Charles Schumer, Greg Meeks, Barney Frank, John Kerry, Jerrold Nadler, Charlie Rangel, Joe Lieberman, Bob Torricelli and others, plus our future Supreme leader, Hillary Clinton.

When you consider other elected and appointed government officials with similar agendas such as Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Tom Daschle, Richard Gephardt, Janet Reno and Andrew Cuomo, there must have been some of the same water bottled and shipped to our nation`s capital. What else could possibly explain their lock-step behavior? These and other "leaders" even want to de-legitimize the presidential administration of G.W. Bush.

Never fear! The obvious solution would be to have the Most Homorable Florida Supreme Court discover and use a law to ban all drinking water in government buildings. This simple act could stop the spread of this dread liberal disease and maybe even slow down their overwhelming desire (in the name of "the will of the people") to continually give us the "shaft".

Gene Mays

11/25/2000