POWER SHORTAGE
Overheard during my recent trip to the West Coast.
Okay, the lights are back on. Maybe we can start the ceremony now. Bring in the witnesses. Dear friends, we are gathered here in the site of God and all those present to join these two people in Holy Bondage. May I hear an Amen! Thank you. Please start the Elvis music. Alright. Let us proceed. Do you, Pretty George, and you------where is he? Hey! Handsome Barney, you can come out of the closet now, the lights are on. Please come over here and stand beside Pretty George. That’s right. Hold hands. Do you Handsome Barney take Pretty George to love and cherish forever as your ----husband? I do. Do you Pretty George take Handsome Barney to love and cherish forever as your----ah----man? I do. If anyone present objects to this union let them speak now or forever hold their piece---sorry, I mean peace! I now pronounce you man and---man. What we have today joined together in matrimony, (?) let none tear asunder. You may kiss the----on second thought just shake hands. Congratulations. Darn, there go the lights again! Maybe we should have built power plants instead of continuing to promote alternate lifestyles! Gene Mays 3/16/2001
