Arriving at the mall and walking a short distance, I thought I had stumbled across a United Nations meeting! I overheard at least seven or eight different foreign languages. One guy was even using sign language to tell me he was number one! Well, at least we still have some English speaking cab drivers. Not like N.Y.C.! Before we become like the proverbial “Tower of Babel”, I would hope our politicians would see the wisdom of continuing English as our official language as it has been since our country’s beginning.

While America has always been the land of opportunity, there is something else at work keeping all who arrive here from returning to their homeland and loved ones. I believe I know what it is! This Country attracts and binds people to it exactly like the black holes in outer space. No one seems to be able to get out! Any landmass called America evidently holds this power. Even our mighty government organizations, such as the CIA, FBI, NAACP, INS, NOW, ACLU, DNC, etc., doesn’t have the ability to thwart this power. They came, they saw, they stayed. Too many, too soon, but there is hope! Finally!

Before we are completely overrun with illegal immigrants, let me suggest one possible solution. ANNEX MEXICO! No doubt about it, once it becomes part of the U.S., it would hold the same attraction to visitors as we do now. Since Mexicans would already be in America, there would be no need for them to come north. Think about it! Immigrants from other Nations could settle in our new “southern district” and still be in the good old United States of America and enjoy all our “freebies”.

There are many obvious advantages to both sides. For example, Mexicans would be taught “political correctness” so they wouldn’t continue to suffer in ignorance. They could import good old American food like pizza and chop suey. Their factories and jobs could be shipped to other countries. (It works SO well for us!) They could upgrade (?) their schools to our standards, print all documents in ten different languages, and even be privileged to pay exorbitant income taxes! Their environment would be saved. Once they are the same as we: what else is there?

Some of the advantages to America would be the addition of at least twenty new states along with several million taxpayers. We could send their voters our “punch card ballots”. (They could figure them out even if Florida couldn’t.) We’ll be able to drink their water, maybe. Our liberals might be able to trick them into joining the Democratic Party. Congress would get fifty or sixty additional seats. All members would salivate over increased spending with the prospect of creating new programs and entitlements. We could surely put their oil production to good use. Trading on Wall Street would be followed by Dow Jones Sanchez to reflect its added importance. There is not enough space here to list all the potential advantages to both Mexico and the United States once my proposal is accepted. If it works as well as I expect, look for Canada to be next.

Remember, millions of Mexicans and other “visitors” are here now, and millions more are headed this way every year. We MUST annex Mexico before they annex us!

There is one major drawback, we would have to change the lyrics to South of the Border.

Gene Mays

3/15/2001