Father John Ramsey

versus

MWF Tag Team Champion: Sozzey

Singles Match

Referee: Grant August

Writer: John Richardson

[The lights turn off.  You hear explosions all around the arena,  and the lights come back on.  Standing in the arena's centre, are the boys from WEW.  Ben Harlum waves at Sully and JP, and M-Unit and Burns are taunting a few of the ringside fans.  Eddie Benoit (with Misery) is there as well, and it seems that he found time to remove the toilet paper.  ColdFire is standing in the middle of the ring, simply looking around at the crowd. Red, white, and blue pyros shoot from the rafters, the MaxiTron, and the ring, and the MWF banners are replaced by banners bearing the WEW logo, And the WEW Cyberslam theme, "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by Drowning Pool, is echoing throughout the arena.  The fans roar in disapproval as Karagious rolls out of the ring, over to the time-keeper, grabbing an MWF mic, and rolls back into the ring, handing the mic to Harlum.]

JP: Oh What the Hell!?!

Sully:  You know, the rivalry is one thing, but this IS really getting out of hand.

Ben Harlum:  Good evening, fans of the Maximum Wrestling Federation.  For those of you who don't know who I am, allow me to introduce myself...

JP:  Folks, the man in the ring, is an ass.

Ben Harlum:  I am Ben Harlum, owner, founder, and President of Worldwide Entertainment Wrestling...

[The fans begin a chorus of asshole chants, and the WEW wrestlers begin pacing the ring, while Harlum continues.]

Ben Harlum:  We started this as an occasional inter-promotional match here and there, offering the MWF a chance to step into the squared circle with the "Big Boys", and look what it's become.  Yes, there IS going to be an little war around here, but at the rate of desertion around here, who will be left to fight it?  We have stake in Gutter Rat.   We've proved that the Grudge can't be trusted.  Thunder Bull, your Champion will defend his own honour, but could care less who wins the war.  Even your President..  Insane Wayne, thinks that we'll just go away.  And seeing as your beloved CEO, Ed Walker, is not here tonight, we thought that you guys in Winnipeg needed some star power.. but then again, isn't that always the case here in the MWF?

[Harlum laughs as the crowd begin to chant "WEW Sucks!" and "M W F! M W F!".]

Ben Harlum: So we decided to fly up here to Canada to have a little fun around here. Now I think we've got some guys in our WEW production truck who are ready to hack into the MWF's system so let's see if that works, shall we?

[Suddenly, the WEW Cyberslam Music Video begins to play, with footage added in of Flashman defeating Fear and Jamie Slade on MWF Dynamite last year, and of Flashman & Chris Michaels defeating Gutter Rat and Fear on WEW Cyberslam a few months ago. As we cross back to the arena, a table has been set up next to Sully & JP, where Ben Harlum is sitting. Rob 'Hitman' Burns is taking the monitors from the MWF Announce Desk and placing them on the makeshift WEW Announce Desk, while Karagious, M-Unit, ColdFire, Eddie Benoit and Misery are sitting at different corners of the ring, taunting the fans.]

Ben Harlum: Welcome to a very special edition of WEW Cyberslam, folks! I'm Ben Harlum here with Rob 'Hitman' Burns, ready to call our main event tonight, where 'Father' James Ramsey and Sozzey will collide in what will be a quite mediocre match up.

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Oh let me tell you, Prez, that I have to apologise to you and all the viewers at home for having to put up with such an ordinary night here on MWF Dynamite, WEW Cyberslam, whatever we're calling it tonight, and hopefully this match will be a bit better with us calling it.

Ben Harlum: Well, Rob, JP and Sully can take a rest over there while the MWF Technicians in the back try and un-mute their microphones, and basically try and un-hack their system. But let's get these MWF (cough) superstars out here!

[The crowd leap to their feet and cheer as the sound of hymns fill the arena, as Peter Santos tries to do the introductions, but his microphone is not turned on by the technicians in the back. The camera cuts to the entrance way where Father John Ramsey stands with yellow light filtering through behind him. He is dressed in his Priest attire and he walks down the entrance ramp, blessing those who reach out to touch him. He smiles and shakes hands.]

Ben Harlum: Let me try this ring announcing gig, Pete, take a hike. Introducing first in your Cyberslam main event is a Father, which means he must love children. See what I did there, It's called a double entendre. Anyway, he is a true superstar, defeating Chris Michaels last week...like that would be hard! And he was runner up for some award in the 2004 awards. Give it up for John Ramsey!

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: That was fantastic, boss.

Ben Harlum: I know.

[The crowd stand to their feet, cheering wildly as �Numb� by Linkin Park blasts on the sound system and the cheers continue swelling� Sozzey emerges from behind the curtains with his MWF Tag Team title strapped tightly around his waist. Sozzey raises a fist in the air to the roar of the crowd as he slowly approaches the ring. He climbs on the apron and acknowledges the crowd of his Tag Team title belt, tapping it gently before entering the ring.]

Ben Harlum: And his opponent, a champion of some sort. On behalf of everyone here on Cyberslam, we are "Sozzey" for what will be a very ordinary match due to this man.. one half of Kronik, Sozzey!

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: I can't believe anyone would hire Kronik after that horrible match with Undertaker and Kane at WWF Unforgiven 2001.

Ben Harlum: Wrong Kronik, Rob.

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Oh. Sorry.

[Father John Ramsey prepares as Sozzey passes his MWF Tag Team Championship belt to the match referee, Grant August. The crowd roar as the two men lock up, the bell ringing out across the arena. Ramsey uses his technical prowess and manages to take Sozzey down with a drop toe hold. He climbs onto the back of Sozzey and locks in a surfboard stretch....but Sozzey is too fresh, he rolls over and nails a right hand, upwards, into the face of Ramsey. The man of the cloth rolls off Sozzey, holding his face as the MWF Tag Team Champion stands up.]

Ben Harlum: Hey Rob, how do you think Father John would fail if he was in WEW?

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Hmm.. Miserably, I'd say. Although he might give Gutter Rat a run for his money. They're all the same around here in the MWF.

[Sozzey stalks after Ramsey and the fans are a little unsure who to cheer for as one half of "Kronik" takes Ramsey and hoists him up in the air. He holds the move well and Ramsey is kept suspended for a long period of time...Sozzey twists as he brings Ramsey down and executes a perfect brain buster onto the canvas.]

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Oooh.. That was brutal!

Ben Harlum: What was?

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: I think ColdFire just knocked one of the fans out in the corner.

Ben Harlum: Oh really?

[Sozzey covers Ramsey, the crowd chant with referee Grant August ...1...2! Father John Ramsey rolls the shoulder, to the delight of some of the crowd...particularly those who regularly attend mass. Ramsey isn't given a moment to rest as Sozzey picks him up off the mat and lands a kick to the mid-section, the priest is doubled up, as Sozzey grabs him and looks for a powerbomb...]

Ben Harlum: Do you think these two could be a good steal for WEW, Rob?

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Well quite frankly, stealing JP and Sully from MWF would be a good thing for WEW. Anything that kills the company is good with me!

Ben Harlum: No, No. If we stole those commentators, wouldn't that benefit MWF?

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Ahh..Touche.

[Sozzey attempts to lift up Ramsey for the powerbomb, but he's not moving. Sozzey is tipped up and the crowd roar as Father John Ramsey breaks out of the move, and he keeps hold of Sozzey's legs. The MWF Tag Team Champion is in trouble as Ramsey locks in a modified version of the sharpshooter. Sozzey screams with pain as Ramsey keeps the hold locked in...he reaches out for the ropes but he can't make it. Grant August circles like a vulture as Sozzey roars with agony and Ramsey roars with delight.]

Ben Harlum: I got to give these two credit, they're putting on an entertaining match here, but that's nothing compared to this Thursday, folks, when the man next to me, Rob 'Hitman' Burns, will team with ColdFire and M-Unit, to face Fusion, Steven Hammond and Eddie Benoit!

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: It's going to be huge, Ben.

[Sozzey reaches out with his hand and manages the grab the rope. The crowd watch on as Ramsey releases the hold straight away and looks to grab one of Sozzey's ankles...the MWF Tag Team Champion thrashes his leg and sends Ramsey backwards. Father John Ramsey clutches his hand where he was kicked by Sozzey, allowing Sozzey the chance to regroup and get to his feet. The two men lock up and Sozzey uses his weight advantage to force Ramsey backwards...he backs him into the turnbuckle and the crowd cheer as he climbs up and brings his right hand down into the face of Father John Ramsey.]

Ben Harlum: I wonder how Karagious would do if he fought one of these two?

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: Ooh. That's a tough one, Ben.

Ben Harlum: Because Karagious has a big match ahead of him on Cyberslam this Thursday, when he faces both Adam Havok and "Lightning" James Carter for the WEW Television Championship!

[The right hand of Sozzey comes down and the crowd chant ...1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10, punches all rain down onto the MWF's Future Star 2005 Award runner-up. Sozzey jumps down from the turnbuckle and grabs Ramsey by the head and whips him into the ropes...Ramsey comes running back and the crowd roar as Sozzey executes the Decapitator. He brings his boot up and almost takes Ramsey's head off with a massive shot to the face. Father John Ramsey collapses onto the mat.]

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: I wonder what The Father thinks of the actions and lifestyle of our very own Redneck in WEW, Jeff X?

Ben Harlum: Well what a coincidence that you speak of Jeff, Rob, because he has a big match on Cyberslam as well! He faces the newcomer, Andrew Corven, and his long-time rival, Rob Arson, in a 3 way dance.

[Sozzey picks up Father John Ramsey, and despite the struggles of the priest he lifts him up into a suplex position. Sozzey roars and the crowd leap to their feet as he brings down Ramsey in the Jackhammer! The whole ring shakes as the move hits and Sozzey sharply hooks the leg ...1...2...3!]

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: We have a winner!

Ben Harlum: Indeedy we do, Rob. Here is your winner, Father John Ramsey!

Rob 'Hitman' Burns: I think we should go to a quick commercial, don't you think, Ben?

Ben Harlum: I think that's a good idea. We'll be right back here on Monday Night Cyberslam!

--- Commercial Break: Worldwide Entertainment Wrestling, where everything the MWF wishes it could do...comes to life! (www.wewefed.com) ---

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