�Ice cream toilets� on a campsite.
�We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.� In a dry cleaner�s.
�Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please return it or further steps will be taken.� In a factory.
�Caution: Automatic Door. Push to operate� On the entrance to an office building.
�Thursday night potluck supper. Prayers and medication to follow� Notice in a parish magazine.
�The town hall is closed until opening. After opening, it will remain closed. Open tomorrow.� Sign outside a new town hall which is to be opened soon.
�One hour photos. Ready in 20 mins.� Sign on a photography shop window.
�Safety first. Please put on your seatbelt. Prepare for accident.� Sign in a Japanese taxi.
�Wanted: Ejection seat tester. Involves a small amount of travelling.� Advert in employment agency.
�For indoor use or outdoor use only� Sign on Chinese-made Christmas lights.
�Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome!� Outside a disco.
�Have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home� In a jewellery shop.
�We unblock your constipation with our fingers� ad for an American reflexology centre.
�Warning: Contains nuts� On a pack of nuts.
�Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands� sign on a Swedish chainsaw.
�Please keep out of children� on a Korean knife.
�Not to be used for the other use� on a Japanese food processor.
�Warning: May cause drowsiness� on a packet of sleeping tablets.
�No trespassing without permission� Sign on church property.
�Fits one head� on a hotel shower cap.
�Closed due to illness� Sign in a health shop.