Hold On To The Memories
A Holocaust Story

Chapter 1
Amsterdam, Holland June 1999

            It was a warm sunny day in Amsterdam, Holland. Sixty-nine-year-old Rebecca Barimer sat in her small house in the middle of Amsterdam. Her grayish brown hair was pulled back in a bun at the nape of her neck and her green eyes stared outside. She had lived alone all of her life and didn’t really have a social life. There was a few elderly ladies that came by to visit her every now and then.

Rebecca spent most of her time painting. She loved to paint landscapes and other things. That’s how she lived her life. Almost alone all the time. Alone with her memories and secrets. But that evening all of that would change.

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            Twenty-seven-year-old Gilbert Morrison sighed as he walked down the streets of Amsterdam. In one hand he held a briefcase and in the other his suit jacket. He was a tall handsome journalist on a mission. His boss had told him to go to Europe and come back with a story. “I want a story that’ll catch people’s attention. I want it to be the best,” his boss had said.

            Gilbert had chosen Amsterdam thinking it would have an interesting story but he was beginning to have his doubts. The sun glared down on him and he stopped at a small café to get something to drink. After he had drunk a glass of icy cold water, Gilbert stepped out of the café and started down the street. As he walked along he passed a building. He saw that it was The Anne Frank House. Curious Gilbert went in. he was lucky enough to get to go through the house without having called for a tour. He was amazed by the house where the young Jewish girl, Anne Frank, had lived with her family in hiding during the Nazi Occupation of Amsterdam during WWII. It was an incredible tour and when Gilbert stepped out of the house an hour later he was eager to find out if there was any Holocaust survivors in Amsterdam. So began his mission to find a survivor.

            Rebecca was busy painting that evening. The sun was shining through the window and she was in a very cheerful mood. Suddenly she heard a knock on the door. “Who could that be?” she said aloud and laying down her paint brush she went to answer the door. Opening the door she was surprised to see a young man who looked to be in his twenties standing in the doorway. She smiled and asked, “Can I help you?”

            “I was in town today and I went into this store and I saw a beautiful painting of a waterfall. I asked the storeowner who the painter was and he said Rebecca Barimer was. He told me where you lived and I just had to meet you so I came. My name is Gilbert Barimer,” Gilbert said smiling. Rebecca smiled and held open the door, “Oh won’t you come in?” Rebecca asked. Gilbert stepped inside the house and was surprised by all the paintings in the house. The house had the sense of welcome and so did this elderly woman who was dressed in a long dress with paint smudges on her face.

            “Make yourself comfortable,” Rebecca said motioning for the young man to sit down at the dining room table. Rebecca went into the kitchen and soon came back with a tray of tea cups and cookies. “You do like tea don’t you?” she asked. Gilbert nodded and Rebecca placed the tea tray onto the table. “I usually have tea at this time of day. It’s kind of an old family tradition,” Rebecca said chuckling. As he watched her Gilbert saw something black on the elderly woman’s arm. It looked like writing, a tattoo or something. But he didn’t ask what it was.

            After the tea was poured and everything, Gilbert spoke. “I hope I haven’t intruded on you or anything,” he said. “Oh no, no you haven’t. It’s just that I don’t get many visitors. I’m very glad you came and that you find my paintings fascinating,” Rebecca said smiling happily.

They talked for several hours. It was very odd, Gilbert thought. Here was this old woman talking to him as if she’d know him all her life. She showed him more of her paintings and they discussed other things.

            Rebecca was surprised by this young American man’s interest in her paintings. No one had really never paid her no heed. But this young man showed interest and she was hoping that she had found a friend.

            While she was showing him some of her paintings the phone rang. While she went and answered it Gilbert walked through the house. It wasn’t a very big house. It had only four bedrooms and an attic. But everything in the house looked very old. Everything had the look of the 40‘s. Gilbert knew that this house held a secret and that this friendly, elderly woman had secrets of her known. But what were they?

Chapter 2

            Gilbert continued to come and visit with Rebecca. They would sit for hours just talking about things and on sunny days they would walk through Rebecca’s flower garden. One day while they were walking through the flower garden Gilbert noticed that Rebecca had planted an enormous amount of white lilies.

            “If I may ask why do you have more lilies than you do any other flower?” Gilbert asked. Rebecca didn’t answer for a moment. She just stood there staring at the flowers. Finally she spoke. “I love lilies. They hold a special place in my heart.” Gilbert was a little confused by her statement. Why did they hold a special place in her heart? He hoped that sooner or later this woman would share her secrets with him, whatever those secrets may be.

Rebecca lay in bed that night thinking. She had been so happy since the young American had started visiting her. It felt good to have someone to talk to. She considered the young man a very good friend. He was always interested in whatever she talked about. But there was something that Rebecca knew she must tell him soon because she knew that she wouldn’t be here on this earth too much longer.

            Climbing out of bed, Rebecca made her way to the attic. She pulled down the door and climbed up the creaky stairs into the dusty attic. Chests, boxes, and other things were piled up all over the attic. But Rebecca went to one chest only. She opened it and lifted the lid. In this chest was her secrets and memories. There were photographs, a diary, and other things that she had kept over the years. She put all the things precious to her in a metal box and carried it down stairs. She went back to her room and sat down on the bed and began to look through the photographs and the other things. As she sat there going through all of the things Rebecca made her mind up right then and there. It was time that she revealed her secrets and memories.

            The next day Gilbert woke in his motel to a sunny morning. He climbed out of bed and got dressed. As he sat down to read the newspaper the telephone rang in his room. He picked it up, “Hello,” he said. He heard the familiar voice of Rebecca on the other line. “Mr. Morrison, I was wondering if you could come to my house for lunch? The reason I am asking is because there’s something I need to tell you, that is if you are interested,” Rebecca said. Gilbert told her he would gladly come.

            At 12:00 Gilbert made his way down the road that led to Rebecca’s house. He was very excited because he knew that Rebecca was going to share something special with him. Perhaps she would tell him her secrets or some interesting story that he could write that his boss back in America, would be pleased with.

            Rebecca saw Gilbert walking up to her house and she sighed. She had set the table and lunch was ready. As Gilbert and Rebecca sat down to a lunch of baked chicken and other side dishes, Gilbert smiled, “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in a very long time,” he said biting into a piece of chicken. “I’m not the greatest cook but I try,” Rebecca said chuckling. “You’re a wonderful cook. This food is delicious,” Gilbert said smiling. After they had eaten Rebecca brought out a strawberry pie she had baked.

            Afterwards Rebecca led Gilbert to the “sun room”. The “sun room” was a large room in the back of the house that was filled with windows and flowers. Gilbert had not seen this part of the house and was amazed at how beautiful it was. “This is an amazing room,” Gilbert said staring. Rebecca smiled and sat down in a nearby white whicker chair. “I have to say that this is my favorite room in the whole house. It’s so bright and full of happiness,” Rebecca said. She motioned for Gilbert to sit down in the other whicker chair and he did. After they were seated Rebecca spoke, “I have something that I want to tell you. I want to tell you about my life. I’ve gone through a lot of things in the past that no one knows about. But I think it is time I tell someone.” She pulled out a small metal box from under the whicker chair. “I got this out of the attic last night. In this box is photographs and a few other things. I wanted you to see these things before I tell you my story,” Rebecca said handing the box to Gilbert.

            Gilbert took the box and opened it slowly. He saw a pile of photographs and he picked them up. The first photograph he saw was of a young man and woman standing side by side. “That picture was taken in 1938. The young woman you see is me and the young man is Jacob Vashem,” Rebecca said. Gilbert flipped through the photographs and was amazed. Most of the pictures were taken in the 30’s and one was taken in the 40’s.

After Gilbert had looked through all of the things in the box he turned to Rebecca, “You must have had an interesting life,” he said. “As they say ‘It was the best of times and it was the worst of times’ . Are you ready to hear the story Mr. Morrison?” she asked. Gilbert nodded and Rebecca began to tell him her story.

Chapter 3

Rebecca begins her story. . . .

Amsterdam, Holland June 1939

            I was born in Harlem, Holland to a Jewish couple, Juan and Margot Barimer. I was their only child. We were very wealthy and I always had nice things but mind you I was not spoilt. When I turned thirteen my family moved to Amsterdam. My father bought the nicest and most expensive house in Amsterdam. I was afraid that I wouldn’t like Amsterdam as much as I liked Harlem but I soon adapted. I made new friends and soon fell in love with Amsterdam

            The town of Amsterdam. Oh it was such a beautiful place! In spring there would be so many flowers and everything seemed perfect. My father bought me a bicycle but he would not allow me to ride it to school. He said I was better than that so I rode to school in our car. Many of the kids at school were jealous and often made fun of me saying I was a snob. But there were those who didn’t think that and I soon had a lively circle of friends. In my English class There were many boys that wanted to court me but I always turned them down. None of them were right for me. But there was one young man that I met at school one day that I liked. I was walking down the hallway one day at school when suddenly I ran into a young man. Our school books fell to the floor and the young man apologized. “Oh it’s okay. No harm done,” I said squatting down to pick up my books. I glanced over at the young man who was squatting beside me. I recognized him as Jacob Vashem. He was fourteen and I had seen him several times but we were not friends or anything. Many people say that love at first sight doesn’t happen in real life. But right then when Jacob and I looked into each others’ eyes it was love at first sight.

            After we had gathered our books into our room we stood up. We didn’t say anything for awhile but finally Jacob spoke, “I’m Jacob Vashem,” he said. “I know. . .I mean. . .yea I know who you are. I’m Rebecca Barimer,” I said. He smiled, “That’s a pretty name,” Jacob said smiling. I had never been told something that nice before and I blushed. It was a few weeks before we actually started courting but that’s getting ahead of the story.

            I dreamt of becoming a painter and I began experimenting. I became quite good at painting so I continued practicing. My parents weren‘t too thrilled about me becoming a painter. You see my parents were always pushing me to act like an adult. I never had time to just be a teenager and there were many times that I would dream of someone coming and ‘rescuing’ me. I was usually lonely but I would just paint to get my mind off of that. Painting lifted my spirits and it gave me a reason to live.

            My life went on and I thought it would never change. But little did I know that soon my life would be changed forever.

Chapter 4

            On my fourteenth birthday my Mother baked a delicious white cake. Fifteen-year-old Lena Lies, one of my best friends, came over to eat cake and to spend the night. For my birthday my parents bought me several romance novels and a few painting accessories of which I very pleased with.

            As my parents, Lena, and I were sitting at the table eating cake there was a knock at the door. My father went to the door and soon returned followed by a young man. I was shocked to see that it was Jacob. He stood in the room smiling at me and in his hand was a bouquet of white lilies. I stood and walked over to him. “Jacob, what a surprise!” I said smiling. He smiled back, “I. . .found out that your birthday was today so I wanted to wish you Happy Birthday. Here, these are for you,” he said handing me the bouquet of lilies. I took them and lifted them to my nose to smell. I couldn’t stop smiling. “Thank you so much. Oh you simply must stay for some birthday cake,” I said. Jacob smiled and we both sat down at the table.

            A few hours later Jacob had to leave. I walked him to the door. “It was so sweet of you to bring me those flowers,” I said smiling. Jacob acted kind of nervous and he didn’t say anything for a moment. But finally he spoke, “Would. . .you mind. . .if. . .I call on you?” he asked. I felt myself blush, “I. . .no. . .I mean I would love it if you would call on me. Will we be courting or. . .?” I asked. Jacob nodded, “Yes. . .that is if you want. . .to,” he said. “I would love to,” I said. He smiled and said goodbye. I stood in the doorway watching him walk away. I felt so happy, excited, and nervous all at the same time. I had never courted a boy before but I could hardly wait. I turned and walked back into the dining room where everyone sat watching me. I smiled and sat down in my chair. My Father was the first to speak, “You didn’t tell us you had a boa,” my Father said smiling. “He’s not my boa, yet. He wants to go courting this weekend. Do you mind Papa?” I asked. My Father chuckled, “I suppose it will be alright. He seemed decent enough and he was very well mannered. I think it will be good for you to court a boy. You need to grow up and get a social life,” he said. I smiled and it felt as if my heart was singing.

            Friday night soon came and it was the night that I was to go courting with Jacob. I was very nervous and excited. It took me forever to find the right outfit to wear. As I went through my closet searching for an outfit I came across an old photograph of me when I was a little three-year-old girl. I took the photograph in my hands and sat down onto my bed. I began remembering back to a time when I was little. But now I was fourteen and getting close to being a young woman. It was all so frightening. Going courting, growing up, everything was frightening and as I sat there on my bed I cried.

Chapter 5

            After I was through with crying I got ready. I wore a white blouse and a black skirt and I pinned my hair back with a hair pin. I took one last look at myself in the mirror. Everyone said I was a very pretty girl but I didn’t think I was.

The door bell rang at that moment and I raced out of my room. My Mother had beat me to the door and she had already let Jacob in the house. My Mother hugged me, “Rebecca, be careful,” she whispered in my ear. I was a little confused by my mother’s words but I soon forgot about them. Jacob looked at me and he smiled, “You. . .look beautiful Rebecca,” he said. I blushed and walked over to him. We stepped out of the house and started down the street. “There’s this little café that I want to take you to,” Jacob said as we walked down the street. I found myself at loss of words, which was very odd because I was usually very talkative.

            We arrived at the café and were seated at a table. Jacob sat across from me smiling and I found myself smiling. Soon our order of food came and we began to eat. As we sat there Jacob spoke, “I hope that this place is okay. You do like it don’t you?” he asked. I nodded, “Oh yes, I really do like this café. The food is delicious,” I said. Jacob smiled and took a sip of his glass of water. I decided to ask him about his life. It turned out he came from a German family. But he and his family had left Germany and moved to Amsterdam. He had a three-year-old sister, unlike me who was an only child. He said he enjoyed writing poetry and a little bit of music. After I he told me about his life he asked me about my life. “What is your passion for life? Is it writing, poetry, or what?” he asked. “I have a passion for painting. I love to paint landscapes and other things,” I said smiling. “That is really neat. You’ll have to show me some of your paintings,” Jacob said.

            After we had eaten we went for a walk in the nearby park. As we walked side by side through the park Jacob reached out and clasped my hand in his. I felt myself blush, again but I did not pull my hand away. It was all so wonderful! There was a starry sky and a cool breeze was blowing. Everything seemed to be perfect and as I stood there holding Jacob’s hand I never wanted the moment to end.

           Jacob walked me home and we stood outside the house for a few moments. “I had a wonderful time tonight,” I said smiling. Jacob smiled back, “So did I. Would you like to do it again sometime?” he asked. I nodded, “Yes, I would like that very much,” I said. Jacob stared into my eyes and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me but he didn’t. We said goodbye and I walked into the house while he walked down the street to his home. Inside the house I was all smiles. I danced up to my room humming happily. My parents watched me and chuckled. “I suppose it went well,” my Father said. I just smiled at him and went up to my room.

            In my room I walked over to my desk and pulled out my diary and wrote about my experience that night. I was so happy inside and everything seemed right. I fell back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Jacob had been so nice and he was the perfect gentleman. I couldn’t wait to see him again! Also I couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for me and Jacob. Would he ever get the courage to kiss me? Oh I hoped so!

            Laying there I began to wonder. Was this what love felt like? Or was everything I was feeling just an infatuation?

Chapter 6

            As a year went by Jacob and I grew very close. But many of my Jewish relatives and neighbors disproved because I was Jewish and Jacob was non-Jewish. We didn’t let that stop us and we continued to court and we were always together. I found myself falling in love more and more and it was wonderful.

1941

            When the Nazis took over of Holland it was a sad day for the Jews. I remember standing in my room staring out the window. I watched as the Nazis and their artillery rode down the road. I watched as the Nazi soldiers marched down the street in their gray uniforms. A large crowd of the Hollanders had gathered outside and many were cheering and waving little swastika flags, others watched with blank stars, and some had tears streaming down their face. My family and I did not go join the crowd. My father said that trouble was coming now that Hitler had taken over almost all of Europe. It all frightened me but I tried to go on with my life and Jacob.

            But many things began to change. The Nazis began to make laws and they started persecuting the Jewish people. Jews had to wear a yellow star; Jews had to hand in their bicycles; Jews were banned from trams and were forbidden to use any car; Jews were only allowed to do their shopping between 3:00 and 5:00, and then only in shops which bared the placard Jewish Shop; Jews were only allowed to go to Jewish barbers; Jews had to be indoors from eight 8:00 in the evening until 6:00 in the morning. There was many rules we Jews had to follow and it was very difficult. The Nazis were trying their best to take away our freedom completely. All those rules were terrible but the worst one of all was the on that forbid Gentiles to associate with Jews. Jacob and I could no longer go courting and we were unable to see each other as often.

            I had to leave the public school and go to the Jewish Lyceum school. It was a school where all the Jewish children had to attend. I was devastated when I was told I had to leave my old school. But I tried my best to be optimistic.

            On my first day at the Lyceum school I met many Jewish girls my age. I remember meeting Hanna Josan, the famous Anne Frank, and I met a few other girls. Hanna Josan, who was fifteen, became one of my closest friends at the Lyceum school. Although I missed my other friends and old school very much I soon adapted to the Lyceum and got used to everything.

            One day as I was walking home from the Lyceum school I passed two teenage boys the street. They stared at the yellow star that was on my coat and they laughed. “Hey look it’s one of those swine!” one of the boys said. Tears stung my eyes and I quickened my pace. But the boys continued to follow and mock me. I broke into a run trying to escape them. I couldn’t understand how people could be so cruel.

Chapter 7

            That night I snuck out of the house. Jacob and I had agreed to meet in secret at a secluded area outside the park. We both knew it was very dangerous to go out after curfew but we were so desperate to see each other that we didn’t care.

            I crept through alleys and through the shadows so as not to be seen. My heart was pounding as I neared the park. I saw several Nazi soldiers walking up and down the streets. Suddenly I saw Jacob standing in an alley nearby and I made my way to him. When I reached him we turned and went down the alley away from the park because of the guards. After we were out of sight I threw my arms around him and hugged him. Jacob was surprised by this but he soon wrapped his arms around me and we stood there holding each other. “Oh Jacob I’ve missed you so much!” I whispered into his shoulder. “I’ve missed you to and thought of you everyday,” he said. I raised my head up and looked into his eyes. He slowly leaned his head down and kissed me on the lips. It was the most wonderful thing, to receive my first kiss. We stayed in the alley talking for a long time. It was those times that I cherished the most. We talked of what we were going to do after the war and at one point Jacob even mentioned marriage. The word marriage frightened me a little but I knew that if Jacob ever asked me to marry him I would say yes because I was in love with him. In time I would come to realize just how much I loved him.

1942

            The year 1942 was the year when terrible and horrific things began to happen. The Nazis began to round up Jews and send them to concentration camps and other terrible places. At first we all tried to believe that concentration camps did not exist. My Father said it was best if we believed that way but we could not escape the terrible fact. The time of the Jews was slowly fading away.

            At the Lyceum school many girls and boys began to disappear. Many began not showing up at class. One day Hanna Josan never showed up at school, and also Anne Frank never showed up. I heard from some of Anne’s friends that the Frank family had left a note in their house saying they had fled to Switzerland. I didn’t know what had happened to Hanna and her family. Many people said that they had been deported to concentration camps. I didn’t know what to believe. All I knew was that they were gone.

Chapter 8

            The next day was Friday and after school I went home. As I walked home from school Jacob came and walked beside me. “Jacob what are you doing? You know it’s forbidden for a Gentile to talk to a Jew,” I said looking around for Nazi soldiers. Jacob sighed and took my hands in his, “Rebecca I don’t care if the Nazis beat me or kill me. Life isn’t worth living without you. I. . .I love you,” he said. I felt tears spring up in my eyes and I smiled, “I love you too Jacob.”

            We walked home holding hands. It felt like old times again. But as we walked along the street suddenly two Nazi soldiers walked up to us. “What are you doing? You‘re a Gentile are you not?” one of the Nazi soldiers asked Jacob. Jacob nodded, “Yes I am a Gentile.” “Then what are you doing with that Jew girl?” the Nazi asked. “I’m. . .I’m in love with her,” Jacob said boldly. Anger rushed over the Nazi soldier and he struck Jacob across the face. The blow stunned Jacob and he fell to the ground. I watched in horror as both of the soldiers began kicking Jacob as he lay on the ground. “Stop! Please stop!” I said grabbing one of the soldier’s arm. The Nazi soldier hit me and I screamed as I fell onto the ground out of the way. I lay on the street for a moment. It felt as if everything was spinning. I stood slowly and cried as I watched the Nazis beat Jacob until finally he lay still in the street. Both of the Nazi soldiers laughed and one of them said, “That will teach him to court a swine.”

            After they had walked away I ran over and knelt down beside Jacob. I placed his head in my lap, “Jacob? Jacob can you hear me?” I asked frantically. He moaned but his eyes didn’t open. His face was bloody from the soldiers’ boots and I tried to wipe some of the blood off. “Oh Jacob,” I whispered as a tear slipped down my cheek.

            I managed to contact my father and he came and helped me get Jacob to his house. Jacob’s family was very shocked to see two Jews bringing home their son. I had to explain what had happened but to my surprise his parents didn’t make me and my father leave. Instead Jacob’s mother said, “Rebecca, would you care to stay? I know Jacob will need you.” It was very dangerous for the Morison’s to allow a Jew to be in their house because they could be arrested. But I stayed by Jacob’s side through the night and no Nazis never came and arrested anyone. A week passed and I continued to sneak to the Morison’s house to check on Jacob. He began to heal gradually and soon he was his normal self.

August 1943

            We celebrated my sixteenth birthday in the year of 1943. None of us were in a celebrative mood. With Europe falling down around us and the Jewish population being destroyed how could we celebrate? Now sixteen I had grown taller and was developing into a young woman but I still didn’t think I was pretty. I was alone on my sixteenth birthday. No one came to visit because just about all of my friends had disappeared or had been sent to concentration camps. But that night as I lay in bed I heard something hit my window. I climbed out of bed and walked over to look out the window. To my surprise Jacob was standing outside my house throwing pebbles at my window. I smiled and went to pull on my clothes. I crept outside and walked over to Jacob. At seventeen Jacob was very handsome and the sweetest boy I had ever met. I felt very blessed to have him in my life.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked smiling. “I came to wish you Happy Birthday of course. I got you a gift,” Jacob said. “Come on lets go into the house before we are seen,” I said and we went into the house. “Will we wake up your parents?” Jacob asked as we went into the living room. “No, they sleep upstairs,” I said sitting down on the couch. Jacob sat down beside me and pulled out a small brown box, “Here’s your gift. I wanted to get it wrapped all pretty but I didn’t have enough money for that,” he said.

            As I opened the box Jacob climbed off the couch and knelt down in front of my on his knees. I was surprised to see a beautiful ring in the box. But before I could say anything Jacob took my hands in his, “Rebecca Marie Barmier, will you marry me?” he asked. I stared into his eyes unable to speak for a moment. Finally I laughed and threw my arms around his neck, “Yes! Yes I will,” I said kissing him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. I was so happy and excited.

Chapter 9

            Months passed and Jacob and I had a happy engagement. But soon we were planning the wedding. The wedding would have to be small and in secret because the Nazis forbid any unauthorized gatherings. It wouldn’t be a wedding like I’d always dreamed of but as long as I had Jacob I knew that was enough. I knew that big and fancy weddings really didn’t matter. It was the purpose of the wedding that mattered. Getting married is a very serious commitment. But I knew that I loved Jacob and I was ready to marry him. My Father already knew that Jacob wanted to marry me because Jacob had asked my Father. I was surprised that my Father didn’t mind that Jacob and I were getting married. Jacob and I found a Rabbi who agreed to marry us.

            On the night before the wedding I sat in my room. Jacob and I wouldn’t be able to live together but Jacob’s parents agreed to let us stay in their guest room after we were married. It would have to do until the war was over. I was so excited and nervous about the wedding. I wouldn’t be wearing a big fancy wedding dress. Instead I would be wearing a simple blue dress with a matching hat. My parents and Jacob’s parents would be the only guests.

I was nervous and afraid about the whole thing. I knew Jacob would be a good husband but I was afraid to get married at such a young age. That night I curled up in my bed and cried.

November 6, 1943

            It was a chilly afternoon when my wedding took place. We had to be very discreet about the whole process so as to not draw attention. The wedding was going to take place at my family’s house.

            I stood up in my room holding a bouquet of white lilies. I was shaking with excitement and nervousness. My Mother came up and stood beside me. “It will be okay,” she said smiling. I smiled back and nodded, “I know Mother I’m just nervous,” I said. Soon it was time for me to go downstairs and meet my groom. My Father came up and he hugged me. “I love you Rebecca,” he said with tears in his eyes. I hugged him back, “I love you too Papa,” I said as a tear slipped down my cheek.

            I then walked down the steps with my arm hooked in my father’s. There was no music playing as I walked to meet Jacob. The only music was the music of my heart. My father kissed me and turned me over to Jacob. I walked up to Jacob and he smiled at me. We then turned to face the Rabbi. As we said our vows I stared into Jacob’s eyes. I didn’t understand how I could love someone so much but I did. I loved Jacob with all my heart.

            The Rabbi finally pronounced us ‘man and wife’. We sealed the pronouncement with a kiss. Our parents came up and hugged us both and we all went to eat cake. As I sat with Jacob in the kitchen, he put his arm around me and I knew that this was the happiest day of my life.

Chapter 10

             Jacob and I moved into the little guest room at his parent’s house. We would have to be very careful because Jacob’s parents could get into a lot of trouble if the Nazis found out that they had a Jew in their house. Jacob started working at a shoe factory and life seemed to be wonderful. As time went on I soon found out that I was pregnant. Jacob and I were very excited about having our baby.

            On January 8, 1944 little Nathan was born. He was a very sweet baby and he became mine and Jacob’s little treasure. My parents, as well as Jacob’s parents, were very excited about Nathan and they adored him as much as we did. Jacob would come home from work and he and I would sit in our room looking at Nathan. We would talk about all the things we were going to do with him after the war. As I sat there with Jacob’s arm around me and holding little Nathan life was wonderful. I could almost forget that the war was still going on and that millions were being persecuted and dying.

August 4, 1944

            A cool wind was blowing as I walked along the street with Nathan in the crook of my arm. I went into the only Jewish story left in Amsterdam. The Nazis had destroyed every business run by Jews. Somehow this little store had survived.

After I had bought a few food supplies I walked out of the store. As I did I ran into Jacob. “What are you doing here?” I asked smiling. “I got out of work early and I saw you go into the store so I wanted to see you,” Jacob said. He peeked down at Nathan and smiled, “How’s our little man doing today?”

            As we stepped out onto the street a gunshot rang out. I turned to see a group of Jews being herded through the street right towards us. The Jews were terrified and they broke into a run. A Nazi soldier walked by us and when he saw the yellow star on my sweater he pushed me into the crowd, “Jews on the street are being deported today,” the Nazi said angrily. “Jacob!” I screamed as I was pushed into the frightened mob of Jews. Jacob made his through the crowd and caught up with me. “Jacob what are you doing? You’re not a Jew,” I said. “I don’t care. I’m not going to let you face whatever lies ahead alone. I’m coming with you. The Nazis will never know that I’m not a Jew,” Jacob said.

            Suddenly a Jewish man broke out of the group and tried to escape. A nazi soldier raised his gun and shot the man. Screams erupted from the group and I watched in horror as the Jewish man fell to the ground in a pool of blood. There was no way for us to escape. The Nazis did this ever so often. They would suddenly round up Jews off the street and put them in big trucks and take them away.

“Jacob what are we going to do?” I asked frantically as we ran along with the group of Jews. Jacob didn’t have an answer. He, little Nathan, and I were helpless and after all this time we were finally being taken away to wherever it was they took the Jews.

            The Nazis herded us to where several large deportation trucks sat in the street. I clung tightly to little Nathan, terrified and Jacob, sensing my fear placed a comforting arm around me. The Nazis ordered us into the backs of the trucks. Jacob and I sat down in the floor of the trucks like all of the other frightened Jews. It all happened so fast and I didn’t have time to understand what was going on. The trucks’ engines started and we were driven away. Away from the life that we had once known. None of us knew the horrific things that lay ahead for us.

Chapter 11

            A few hours passed until finally the trucks came to a stop. The tailgates were let down and we were ordered to get out. As I climbed down out of the truck I saw we were at Westerbork Transit Camp just outside of Amsterdam, Holland. I had heard about this camp but I had tried to believe that it didn’t exist. But now I saw with my own eyes that it did exist and that I was going to have to live in it.

            Jacob put his arm around me as we were ordered through the gates of Westerbork. It turned out that the Germans let some Jews run the camp. The camp didn’t seem too bad. There was a school and other things in the camp. “We can survive this,” Jacob said giving me a comforting squeeze.

            After we had given our names to a man with a notepad Jacob and I were separated. Nathan and I were ordered to the women’s barracks and Jacob was ordered to the men’s barracks. I felt so alone and helpless without Jacob by my side but I tried to be strong and brave.

            The women’s barracks had long rows of bunk beds and I picked out a bottom bunk bed for Nathan and I. As I sat down an elderly women came over and sat down beside me. She smiled down at Nathan, “Oh he’s so precious! What’s his name?” she asked smiling. “His name is Nathan,” I said smiling back. By now a group of women had gathered around me and were smiling down at Nathan. The elderly woman smiled at me, “May I hold him?” she asked. I handed her Nathan and she looked down at him with love. “Oh by the way my name is Maggie Henstra,” the woman said. Maggie was a great help to me in the camp. When I had to go on work duty she would watch Nathan for me in the barracks.

            Unlike the other women, I didn’t have a suitcase or any of my belongings. But some of the women let me borrow some of their belongings. Life in the camp wasn’t too horrible. I, along with a group of women, had to sit and work on small car parts and other things. I didn’t like the work but I had no choice in the matter.

            When we were served our lunch of cold soup I would go outside to eat it. Jacob would come over and we would sit eating lunch together. Jacob was so wonderful through those times. He always had a comforting word to boost my spirits. He gave me hope and love. I knew that no matter what happened he would always be there for me.

August 8, 1944

            On August 8, 1944 another group of Jews arrived at the Westerbork Camp. I was eating lunch with Jacob outside when the new group of Jews entered the camp. Jacob and I stood and went over to peer through the fence at the new arrivals. I saw a young girl with black hair in the new group and she turned and glanced my way. I recognized the girl’s face but I wasn’t for sure who she was.

            That night in the barracks I saw the girl again. She was in the same barrack as I. Maggie was holding Nathan for me. She adored him and he seemed to bring her so much happiness. While Maggie held Nathan I walked over to the girl. “Excuse me I think I know you but I’m not for sure. If I may what is your name?” I asked the girl. The girl turned to me and smiled, “My name is Anne, Anne Frank,” she said. “Anne is it really you? I’m sure you probably don’t remember me but we went to the Lyceum school together. I’m Rebecca Barimer,” I said smiling. Anne recognized me then. “It is so good to see a familiar face,” she said. “What are you doing here? Where have you been? You’re supposed to be in Switzerland,” I said. “Oh that was just a story so that the Nazis would think we were in Switzerland. But really we were hiding right in the center of Amsterdam in a secret annex. We hid there for two years,” Anne said. “But why are you here?” I asked. Anne sighed and sat down on a nearby bed, “Our hiding place was discovered and we were arrested. They put us on a train and sent us here. My parents are here and so are Mr. and Mrs. Van Pels and their son, and Mr. Pfeffer,” she said. I soon had to go back to Nathan because he started crying and Maggie couldn’t do anything with him. I felt so sorry for Anne and her family. Imagine hiding for two years from the Nazis and then being discovered! Everything that was happening to us Jews made no sense and I couldn’t understand it.

Chapter 12

September 3, 1944

            On September 3, 1944 a selection was made. A transport had arrived at Westerbork after all this time. Those selected would be sent to another camp. We were all ordered outside and we had to stand in rows. A man with a notepad began calling out names from a list. I watched as women stepped forward when their names were called. Suddenly I heard “Rebecca Marie Barimer” called. I stood frozen in fright clutching Nathan tightly. It couldn’t have been my name. It just couldn’t! How was I going to survive in another camp with Nathan? And what about Jacob? Had he been selected? Finally I stepped forward and stood in line with the selected women. Anne Frank, her mother, and her sister had been selected as well as Mrs. Van Pels.

            An hour later I walked along with the selected women and men that were to be transported to another camp. We stepped out of the Westerbork camp and to the nearby train. As I walked along clutching Nathan to my chest I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and saw Jacob standing behind the fence watching me and the selected group. Panic seized me as I realized Jacob had not been selected. I broke from the crowd and ran to where Jacob stood behind the fence. “Oh god Jacob!” I said reaching through the barbed wire. We held hands through the barbed wire and stared into each other’s eyes. “Rebecca, I won’t let you go alone!” Jacob said as tears came to his eyes. At that moment a guard appeared and pushed me back into the crowd. “Jacob I love you!” I yelled.

            Jacob turned and ran to the entrance gate of the camp. He snuck behind the guards and ran through the gate and all the way to me. He ran into the selected group and grabbed me and Nathan in an embrace. “Rebecca, I love you so much. I’m not going to let you face whatever lies ahead alone. Let them beat me to death or shoot me. I’m going with you,” Jacob said kissing me and little Nathan.

            How Jacob managed to go with the selected group without being ordered back I will never know. But he did go as one of the selected. We were herded to a nearby train and ordered to climb into cattle cars attached to the train. The Nazis tried to get as many people in each cattle car. Soon the cattle cars were crammed with hot and suffocating Jews. The doors shut with a loud ‘bang’ and then all turned to darkness. Screams erupted from the people in the cattle cars.

            As the train lurched forward we all fell forward. I tried to shield Nathan from the bodies that were crushing down upon us as we fell to the straw covered floor of the cattle car. Jacob helped me up and soon we were all trying to stand as the train chugged along. None of us knew where we were going and we were all frightened. It was hot in the cattle car and I thought I was going to pass out from the heat and the smell of unwashed bodies.

Hours passed, days passed and still the train chugged on. My throat by now was parched with thirst and little Nathan was crying. Through all this time Jacob held Nathan and I in a tight embrace. It felt wonderful to have someone there that I knew would protect us.

September 6 1944

Auschwitz-Birkenau in Poland

            On September 6 the train finally came to a stop. The doors were opened and Nazis began shouting at us to get out of the cattle cars. Snow was falling heavily as Jacob and I climbed down out of the cattle car, along with many other Jews. The Nazi soldiers and guards had short crops and they hit us with them to make us go faster. They made everyone throw their luggage down onto the ground. I watched in horror as the guards began tearing children from their mothers. “Jacob, they can’t take Nathan,” I said clutching Nathan tightly. The Nazis tore families apart. The men were ordered to go one way and the women to go another. As for the children they were being put in a truck.

            At that moment a guard tried to pull me away from Jacob. But Jacob had his arms around me and Nathan and wouldn’t let go. “Jacob please don’t let them take us away!” I cried. The guard hit Jacob across the face with his crop and Jacob fell to the ground. “Jacob!” I screamed. The guard grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the group of women. I struggled to break free from the guard but I wasn’t strong enough. I glanced back frantically to where Jacob now stood as I was pulled along. We had been separated and there was no way to get back to each other.

            As I was pushed into the group of frightened, screaming women a Nazi soldier walked up to me. When he saw I had a baby he smiled, “Ah what do we have here?” he said reaching out to take Nathan from me. I backed away holding on to Nathan as tight as I could. The soldier walked up to me and grabbed Nathan and tore him from my arms. “No! Please don’t take my baby!” I screamed as the soldier took Nathan in his arms. “This little thing would make a good clay pigeon,” the Nazi soldier said laughing wickedly. Before I could do anything the soldier threw little Nathan up into the air and the soldier raised his gun and fired. I heard little Nathan cry out as the bullet hit him. I watched in horror as Nathan fell to the snowy ground and he was covered in blood.

            The soldier laughed and walked away. I stood unable to move. I stared down at little Nathan who was now dead. His body had been torn to shreds by the bullet and it was a terrible sight. I fell to my knees and took what was left of my little baby boy into my arms. I held him close to my chest and tears fell down my cheeks. My body began to rock with sobs as I held onto my baby boy. Right then and there life seemed to stop. I could see none of what was going on around me. All I could see was my dead little baby. No words can describe the pain I felt right then. First my husband had been taken away from me and now my little baby. The two things that I had loved the most had been taken away. I then realized we had arrived at Auschwitz-Birkenau, the nightmarish concentration camp to ever be made.

Chapter 13

            As I sat there on the ground holding Nathan’s little body a female guard came and pulled me up off the ground. She jerked the dead baby out of my arms and threw it into the snow. I tried to get to Nathan’s body but the guard pushed me into further into the crowd of Jewish women. I finally gave up trying to get to Nathan’s body and stood motionless in the crowd. My heart felt as if it was breaking.

            We women were herded into a building where we had to take all of our clothes off and shower. It was so humiliating to walk past the soldiers naked. I tried to hide my nakedness as much as I could but it was almost impossible. After we emerged from the showers dripping wet our hair was short. First our head was shaved and then our pubic hair was shaved. The Nazis were taking everything away from us, ever our hair.

            We were then herded out of the building naked and into the cold. The snow strung my bare feet and the icy wind cut into my bare flesh. We all then saw a pile of prison-striped dresses laying on the snowy ground. Those were to be our clothes. The women began grabbing them and pulling them on. I found one for me and I slipped it on. It was too large and it was like wearing a stiff sack but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore.

            We were herded to our barracks which was different than the ones at Westerbork. The beds were bunks three tiers high and without mattresses. The more fortunate prisoners had thin blankets to wrap themselves in. About ten women had to lie side by side, as still as possible. If one of the women wanted to turn over the others had to turn as well. It was a terribly and horrific experience to live in Auschwitz. The food was worse than ever and at first I found it hard to eat. All the prisoners suffered from lice. These parasites bored into our skin and left itchy bumps that turned into open wounds when scratched. There was roll call everyday and sometimes at night. We had to stand in rows for hours and if we moved or fell the guards would beat us. Life there was terrible but you had to get used to the surroundings if you were to survive.

Chapter 14

            Gilbert sat motionless as Rebecca told him of her son’s tragic and cruel death. He watched as tears slid down the elderly lady’s cheeks. They both sat in silence for a few moments. Finally Gilbert spoke, “I’m. . .I’m so sorry,” he said reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek. Rebecca stared down at her gnarled hands and tried not to start sobbing. “It has been so many years ago it seems. I have tried to forget about my past, until now,” she said. Standing slowly, Rebecca walked over to look out the window at her flower garden. She then turned to Gilbert, “Mr. Morrison, how would you like to take a little trip with me?” she asked.

            An hour later Gilbert sat beside Rebecca in a train that was taking them to Poland. Rebecca said she had read that they had turned Auschwitz-Birkenau into a museum. Tourists from all over the world came to go through the camp and find out what happened there. Rebecca said she wanted to go there before her time here on earth was over. Gilbert didn’t know why she would want to go back but he wasn’t going to stop her.

            Off the train and in Poland Rebecca walked slowly beside Gilbert to the entrance gate of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Memories flashed through Rebecca’s mind as she walked through the entrance gates. She paused for a moment under the sign that read Auschwitz-Birkenau. “Is anything wrong?” Gilbert asked. “Oh it’s just memories again. Standing here and seeing Auschwitz is. . .” Rebecca could not finish her sentence. Tears filled her eyes and she stood in silence for a moment. She then turned to Gilbert, “I never told you the ending of the story Mr. Morrison,” she said. . .

Auschwitz-Birkenau December 3, 1944

            In Auschwitz I tried to survive. One day I saw Jacob working in the men’s section in Auschwitz and that gave me hope and a reason to live. I hoped that soon the war would be over and Jacob and I could go home. But it was not meant to be.

            One day while working with a group of women outside I glanced over through the fence into the men’s camp. I saw a man throwing dead bodies into a large pile. To my horror I saw Jacob’s body being thrown into the pile of dead bodies. I stopped what I was doing and ran to the fence and screamed. “Jacob! No!!!!!! You can’t leave me here alone!!! Please!” I screamed and I fell to the ground sobbing. Guards ran over to me and began beating me with crops. But I didn’t care. Jacob was gone and nothing else mattered.

            The air is cold as it blows around her. She glances down at her feet. They are wrapped in cloth but the cloth doesn’t protect her feet from the cold. Her head is shaved and her clothes are ragged. She stands, along with many other women, straight and tall. She stands in Auschwitz, Birkenau concentration camp. She is all alone. She has no one because everyone she loved is gone. Even her sweet Jacob is gone. He was her one and only true love but now none of that mattered. She can still see his body lying in the pile of dead bodies. She can still hear his voice.

“I love you Rebecca and I‘ll never stop loving you. I‘ll never leave you,” he had said. He had lied because he had left her all alone in this cruel world. She turns her eyes up to the gray sky and a tear slides down her cheek.

Now let us go back to 1999 where Gilbert and Rebecca are going through Auschwitz.

Auschwitz-Birkenau 1999

            The old Rebecca turned her tear stained face to Gilbert, “They burned the bodies and that was the last I saw of Jacob. The camp was soon liberated and I came back to Amsterdam,” Rebecca said as she and Gilbert walked through the camp, along with other tourists. “You mean Jacob died? But. . .” Gilbert said wiping a tear from his eye. “Yes, Jacob. . .passed away. All I have left of him are memories. Oh the wonderful memories I have of him!” Rebecca said and a smile spread across her tear stained face. Suddenly a sharp pain went through Rebecca and she fell to the ground.

Chapter 15

            An ambulance soon arrived and took Rebecca to the Hospital. In the hospital Gilbert sat in the lobby waiting for news about Rebecca. At that moment the doctor walked up to him, “Are you related to Ms. Rebecca?” the doctor asked. “No, I’m just a close friend of hers. Is she going to be alright? What happened?” Gilbert asked. “I’m afraid she had a heart attack. She’s awake right now but. . .she probably won’t last the night,” the doctor said. Gilbert was allowed to go and see Rebecca.

            As Gilbert stepped into the room he saw Rebecca lying in a bed with ivies hooked in her arms. He walked over to the side of the bed and reached down and took her hand in his. Rebecca slowly turned her head to him, “Ah it is you. I-I-I’m so glad you are here,” Rebecca said barely above a whisper. “You’ll be better in no time,” Gilbert said trying to smile. Rebecca chuckled, “You don’t have to pretend everything is alright. I know that I am going to die. But now I can die happily because now someone knows my story. I want you to keep my story alive Gilbert. I want you to tell people what happened to us Jews in the Holocaust. Keep it alive so it can never happen again. Promise me you‘ll tell my story to the world. Not just my story but for what my story stands for. I want the world to know about Jacob and little Nathan,” Rebecca said as tears filled her eyes. “I promise,” Gilbert said as a tear fell down his cheek. Rebecca smiled one last time then she closed her eyes. Rebecca Marie Barimer died on August 2, 1999. But her story would never die and soon Gilbert Morrison had her story out to the world in a book titled “Memories”.