Masked Bastard

in

Mondello's Madhouse

September 2008

Section 1 Section 2 Section 3 Section 4 Section 5

Date: 21:35:07 on Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: Love at first FUCK

Date: 21:38:23 on Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: Re: Love at first FUCK

OMG, that butt needs it's own zip code! Not that that's a bad thing....

That ASS will swallow you whole.

Date: 21:46:46 on Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: More...

So the Bastard like the brown sugar with de bubble derriaire I see.

Linz, you just don't know... LOL

Date: 21:48:23 on Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: Re: Even More...

Now dat is a bubble butt!

Every man should know where the CLIT is!!! That's teh HAPPY BUMP!!! The GENERATOR OF THE GREAT GUSH!!!! What the FUCK??!!! Play with her CLIT!!! Rub it. Lick it! Watch her lose her FUCKING mind!!! And watch the vaginal secretions spurt from her throbbing and open LOVE HOLE:


GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH, GUSH...

Nice try, SHIT SPLATTER. I know who my parents are, you DO NOT. I can call up my mother right now and she'll grin ear to ear at the sound of her son's rich, deep voice. You can't even call your mother because she left you on the steps of a church. That's how much your mother loved you. She must've known that you weren't going to grow up to be SHIT no way, so why bother?

Three of my grandparents are DEAD, save one and their siblings. I can trace my family tree all the way back to the Civil War, ASSHOLE. You can only trace yours to the DUMPSTER behind FREE CLINIC.

You should get an account here. We could use more common sense in this place. You've already done more than enough. Ask Linz to get on board. We could use your insight on boards where we will be disgusting things of more serious matters. Keep on preaching the truth, because it is.

A simple yes, or no, answer please.

Is Satanic ritual child abuse funny?

"According to the 9/11 Omissions Report, the U.S. government was unable to trace to funds used to carry out the 9/11 attacks. Ultimately the question is of __________________________."

A. massive importance
B. little practical significance
C. somewhat vital consequence


Let's see how much you know about what you're defending, ASSHOLE.

Can I KILL HIM now?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7630802.stm


What's McCain have to hide? Why stop campaigning and make a mad dash to Washington? Investigations began the moment the shit went under and crashed. Is McCain afraid he'll get exposed as part of the Wall Street EPIC FAIL just like the savings and loan scandal? Why is he asking Obama to go to Washington with him? Obama had nothing to do with the BULLSHIT going on there. He was too busy being a community organizer and being "inexperienced". And Sarah Palin...all those earmarks, all that spending...it's gonna be some SHIT!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7630802.stm

Date: 20:21:01 on Thursday, September 25, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: One desire

You speak the truth. Something Indy cannot and will not ever fully grasp, unless it's coated in feces and rolled in peanuts...

Mondello laughs at you, Indy. The voice of the truth wants to destroy you with words. Bonnie sees you as a means of Photoshop Tennis. I see you as a moving target ready to be taken out. But you don't take a hint, Indy. You keep right on coming back for more, and I like that. I have more info on you than you will ever know. Thank the ones you trust for ratting you out to me and a host of other "Indy-hating" French Frog stompers.


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I never said that Linz would betray you. I said that Linz laughs at you...and he does this very often. Don't get it twisted, like your testicles.

Yes, report me to the FBI, ASSHOLE. Tell them I'm one of the 19 hijackers who are still alive and well. They will laugh at you like we do and thank us for that comedy break. TOOL.

Indy is scared of success, the female gender and the black people in his neighborhood. Keep in mind that he is much fatter and lazier now from eating fast food and masturbating too much. He never wants to truly sit down, work hard and be creative. He wants a formula on how to write and he wants everything handed to him. Tim McLaurin probably would have told Indy to go back to the drawing board and do his first works again. Indy doesn't want to hear that about his writing. He wants everybody say that he's a "literary genius" when in reality he is literally an idiot. RIP Tim McLaurin, a real writer, unlike wanna bes named Indy who write STUPID ASS vampire stories. DUMBFUCK.

You know that COONASS FROG-LOOKING FRENCH CUNT is going to make a fool out of you and Sandy and the other Mods. You don't need somebody unstable like him having a message board. I got fetishes and things I like too, but Indy cannot regulate his. He's the type of person who will go to the public library (with kids around), sit at the computer in the back, furthest from the hep desk and watch pornography while he JERKS his COCK right there.

Look at how to talks to Sandy. He treats her like an object of LUST every time to posts a message. Sandy is a sweet and wonderful human being, why would a man ask to SNIFF HER FARTS when she's trying to do something nice???? Indy can't even behave himself around the female gender, what makes you think he'll not VIOLATE TOS?

I say keep that FUCKER a registered handle. Anytime a grown man creates a name called "18 YEAR OLD GIRLTURD", you're asking for trouble.




THUS SAITH,



MASKED BASTARD

Hey, it's your call. So far he's been pretty cool, but doesn't mean I like him. When he stops breaking the sacred Demandments, then maybe I'll think about it.

Indy gets a starfish...

...gotten their own tribute to geoducks fora????

FUCK YOU.

As a Frenchman from French Louisiana, I have of course already started drinking heavily. I shall become wasted then go out and drink some more. We French have an enormous tolerance for alcohol, especially since I drink only the finest wine. I shall then try to pick up any woman who is alive and has a vagina. Once I fail, I shall return home and masturbate and post numerous ridiculous posts on this fora, then work on my fora!

See? It pays to be honest.

The MASKED your BASTARD did. Can't wait to see Palin stumble on her scripted words...

Palin likes to trip over words spewed from her own mouth piece. She often gets COCK confused with the microphone and tries to put her mouth around it, and then realizes that brings two things: bad ratings and more babies.

Love that salad dressing.

Date: 13:28:04 on Saturday, September 27, 2008
Name: MASKED BASTARD (MB)
Subject: Re: Hey Indy

Don't hold your breath...

Dude, I used to type in ALL CAPS. It isn't cool, unless you're PISSED or a screaming 'tard. I guess the latter would fit the bill in your case. Tool.

Indy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta help me!
Every time I look at myself in the mirror when I'm nude, I get a raging hard on. Is there something wrong with me?"

The doctor checks him over, does some tests and explains, "I've found the cause of your erection when you look in the mirror,
but I'm not sure I can treat the problem."

"Why not? What's the problem?"

The Doctor says, "You look like a pussy."

He IS a PUSSY! This has been proven time and time again. Why do you think he owns a rubber vagina and cant get a member of the opposite sex to got o bed with him? French Cajun males LOVE Indy to FUCKING death. They'll give Indy a reason to sing silly TURD SONGS online.

Uh oh! Somebody's FABULOUS!!!

Sorry, Linz. Remember that I vowed to destroy Indy if he breaks any of the Ten Demandents and this I will continue to do so long as he draws breath and inhales cheap wine and aged cheese.

The MASKED your BASTARD does not drink wine, beer, gin or any other vaporizable alcoholic substance. I have no need for such things.

Now, nothing against those who want to drink and loosen up. But when a French Cajun cowardly man who drinks cheap, hybrid, watered-down PISSED-IN, INFERIOR VINIFERA SEMEN starts spouting off about "teaching lessons", that's where I draw the line.

I draw the line from my BASTARD CANNON directly to Indy's ASSHOLE. I light the fuse and BLOW THAT FAGGOT back to the French Quarter where LUST-CRAZY HOMOSEXUALS and ANIMAL-FUCKING CUNTS will finish off his BLOWN OPEN, BLISTERED ANUS with CONDOM-COVERED COCKS and BARESKIN BROKEBACK BUTT-BUMPING to give Indy mind-shattering WHORgasms.




All of this, because it must.

Indy disses Teah...bad idea.

Teah lay on the hospital bed, trying not to shout out in her excrutiating stomach pain. She wanted to show strength, to show honor, for her daughter and granddaughter. Finally, the doctor entered her intensive care room with a grim look on his face.

"Just tell me, doctor. How bad is it? Don;t couch it in euphamisms," pleaded Teah.

"Fine, Teah. Look, you...I am afraid you have Megacolon Megapaction."

"Wha...what is that, doctor?"

"Teah, there is no easy way to put this. Your Megacolon disease, combined with your years of having three foot long stool and giant blowouts, not to mention your almost exclusive diet of fried chicken and watermelons, have impacted your colon with, in your case, 532 pounds of hardened, impacted fecal matter."

"Oh my God! No!"

Teach's daughter began to cry, and took her mother's hand.

"No wonder I got so fat lately!"

"It's not your fault, Teach," said Dr. Indy. "It is the final stage of Megacolon disease, and, I am afraid..."

"What is it, doctor? Please, be straight with me."

Dr. Indy frowned, took a deep breath, then replied, "I am afraid it is fatal, Teah, if our last chance option does not work."

"Oh God, no! What is the last chance option, Dr. McScat?"

"The procedure is called Aerial Hydraulic Defecafication, known by the common term, the Blowout. It involves putting you under some local anesthesia, and pumping enormous amounts of air at high pressure down your throat in the hopes of blowing out those 532 pounds of fecal impaction."

"Will it work, Dr. McScat?" begged Teah.

"Well, the good news is that we have a 76% success rate. That is good, Teach. That means that most people who undergo the Blowout aurvive and are finally cured of their Megacolon. The bad news is..."

"Lay it on me, doctor!"

"Well, if it fails, then it ia fatal."

Teah looked at her crying daughter, her granddaughter, and felt a sudden, new courage.

"Let's get this procedure underway, doc."

That afternoon in the operating ward of the hospital was a quet one. It was summer, so most of the surgeons were on vacation, and the load had been light. Dr. McScat had his choice of operating rooms, and cose #4, his favorite. He drank a Diet Coke, which he always did before surgery to keep him awake, and fortified himself with a McDonald's combo. The nurse wheeled a groggy Teah in, and Dr. Indy McScat, one of the world's finest surgeons, began his work.

It was quiet in the hospital that day. Outside, it was sunny and pleasantly warm. People played frisbee in the park next to the hospital. Dogs barked as they fetched sticks for teir masters. Joggers made their way around the track. Children laughed, and a game of pickup basketball raged on the court. Overall, it was a lovely day.

It was a quiet afternoon that day.

Suddenly, the earth started to rumble. Eveyone stopped and looked around. There were no earthquakes in French Louisiana, so people were scared and had no idea what to think. The rumbling got louder, and it became obvious that it was coming from the hospital. the ground began to shake violently, and the entire five story hospital building started to shake violently like the buildings in San Fransisco that you see in those old earthquake films.

Then, as a crescendo and climax of the buildup, the hospital exploded in a riotous din, an ear-shattering roar. It simply exploded, and people ran for cover. Women screamed. Men stood in amazement. Children fainted. The entire hospital building had exploded and crashed. But that was not the end.

A smelly, hard, brown substance began falling out of the sky, at first a fine powder, then like hailstones, and finally, in large, sausage shaped links. For an entire hour, giant peces of impacted fecal matter rained down on the French Quarter. Cars were damaged. Houses were razed. Several people were killed.

Teah was a brave woman who suffered much in her life. Dr. Indy McScat was skilled and dedicated. But on that sunny afternoon, in Charity Hospital, Dr. McScat had taken on too much,had committed hubris, had attempted the most difficult and largest Aerial Hydraulic Defecafication ever known in the history of man. He had waged war against the gods of fate, and the fates had won.

Teah was no more.

MB's brutal reply...

Paul Sheldon killed off Misery and look what that got him. Indy, Indy, my dear sweet, SUGARBUTT, FANCYPANTS Indy.
Let's take this one callous attack at a time:

1. You don't understand how to write. You're too busy trying to tell the story instead of letting the story tell itself. You're too busy trying to make the reader like your character instead of letting the character allure the reader. Killing off a main character is CLUSTERFUCK waiting to happen. Whether it's a joke or not, it only goes to show how much experience you have as a well-rounded writer. I've read your SHITTY STORIES and you SUCK at it, Indy. The minute you stop thinking that you're a literary genius is the moment your work will begin to appeal to a wider audience, but that's only a chip off of the exposed portion of the iceberg. COCKSNOT.

2. You hate Teah because Teah is the kind of woman that you would like to have (just like you hate your identity and you have the female sex for rejecting you, shattering your ego and not giving you any PUSSY). Teah represents the women you COVET but cannot have. Teah/Hannah's experiences are based on WHAT WOMEN TELL ME. i have yet to videotape a woman POOPING. To me that ruins the story. I want people to use their imaginations, a talent that you lack and really don't have anyway. Hating Teah will never get your little DICK WET, buddy. It makes you marry out of desperation to a woman who only looks hot when you are drunk and then you wake up one day a decade into the marriage and realize that you could've been a single bachelor with a TEAH TYPE WOMAN everyday o the week if you wasn't such a WEAK, AFRAID, LOW SELF ESTEEM, NO CONFIDENCE having coward.

3. Teah Jones is alive and well and living in Maryland with her daughter Hannah, who is now pregnant. You call my stories God-awful. At least people read my stories. At least I get emails. You get NOTHING. No comments, no complaints, no suggestions (no pussy, on that note). The bottom line is: STOP HATING on the MASKED your BASTARD. I am not mocked. I will punish you with words and make you cry to your mommy (if you knew who the bitch was).

4. It amazes me to see that you are trying to be CIVIL since you got your STARFISH. My, my. How long will this last before you violate TOS and get kicked the FUCK OUT OF HERE just like Henry and Sir.G canned your sorry ASS over at the WARD? HHHMMMM. But any who, I find it a mind-bending anomaly that a SELF-CENTERED, MAGNET FOR FEMALE REJECTION, LOW SELF ESTEEM, NO CONFIDENCE, FAT CAJUN CUNT who can't even expedite basic HTML to get his forum up would be capable of reaching any kind of audience with his work. I'm afraid to see what your writing will consist of. More Boring vampire stories? Please, BITCH.

Finally, the story you wrote was stolen from the weekly scribble journal of a third grader. What a heaping mount of STEAMY, FERMENTED, ALLIGATOR UPCHUCK COATED in RICH CREAMY PANADA BEAR ASS SPLATTER!!!! IT SUCKS GODDAMN, SWEATY SUMO WRESTLER BALLSAC, BITCH!!! IT BLOWS SHIT-CAKED, DV INFESTED FRENCH CAJUN HOOKER ASSHOLE, GODDAMN!!!! IT'S UTTER STINKING GARBAGE IN HUMID, MUGGY, SWELTERING SOUTHERN HEAT TOPPED WITH ICE CREAM SCOOPS OF PURE, UNHOLY PUKEFUCK!!!!

I mean, WHAT THE SHIT, man? Where's your structure? Where's your syntax? And then you try to be funny all on top of that? Geez, man! You really do need to GET LAID VERY SOON!!! You're starting to FREAK ME OUT by proving me right! And I was just SHOOTING BLIND when I attacked you before.

Sorry Indy.


YOU GET A BIG FAT, OBESE, FAST FOOD EATING LETTER F FOR THIS FUCKING MOUNTAIN OF BUFFALO DIARRHEA.



THUS SAITH,



MASKED BASTARD

hahaha Masked Bastard's penis was lost in the bum of a gay French Quarter man, and has yet to be found!

My black DICK is where it belongs...in a woman's WARM & WET PUSSY, a place your little RICE GRAIN PECKER may never venture. FAGGOT.

My brand new fora shall be open for business this evening!!!!

You can't be a man and make your own forum look presentable. Just imagine who's going to wear the pants when you find a HOOKER and get HITCHED. LOL You'll be on the street corner making HER the money.

...shall be a welcomed-guest (pronounced as one word) in my fora.

Why thank you. I look forward to HACKING it.

The Bastard snaps...

...sniffed a girlfart (pronounced as one word)?

Get a girl, ask her to break wind and then sniff it...


SO YOU CAN STOP ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! IT'S AS OLD AS FUCK AND GODDAMN BORING!!! GET A WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE AND GET SOME PUSSY, PLEASE!!! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!!! GEEZ, MAN.

The sad sad truth is that indy's preoccupation with womans gaseous emissions stems from paid sex. He was buying his first piece, and being a virgin he didn't know what he wanted to do, so he asked the pro for advice. She told him that they should start with "69". So she starts gobbling his dick, and he is munching her muff. The problem was, she had just had the burrito and beer special at the bar up the street.

So while indy is doing the lickety split, she let's a really nasty putrid fart right in his face. Not knowing any better, he thinks it all part of the sex act, so after he clears his sinuses, he goes back down and is chewing carpet like a mad man when the hooker lets another stinky one go that is worse than the first one. Indy pulls his head up, and shakes it to clear the air, and dives back in.

He's going away at the girls slit when she lets one go that almost knocks him off the bed. He gets up and starts putting his clothes back on, and the hooker asks him what is wrong. Indy tells her that she can keep the money and all, but he doesn't think he can stand 66 more of those coming at him.....

thus sayeth the voice of the truth.

...and allow me to DISRESPECT and INSULT you."

Yeah right, Indy. Use child abuse as your excuse to cause trouble. You're a COWARD and you can tell the foster home people I said it.

YOu are so brave that you hide behind a mask LMAO.

Again, ASSHOLE, the MASK is for YOUR protection, not mine. You use multiple HANDLE NAMES. Have you forgotten that, SHITHEAD?

Mondello's Madhouse