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Only What I Feel � 7/25/01
Can You Call Me Your Own � 7/26/01
Whatever It Is � 8/02/01
To others it doesn�t seem to exist,
Whatever it is it makes me do my best,
It Has Left Nothing � 8/02/01
To accept it all is not a loss,
To all from a lack of insurance,
Frustration � 8/6/01
I don�t want you to work extremely hard,
When you let others do all of the thinking,
How can the minority run the majority,
It frustrates me, for I have no say in it at all,
I�m frustrated for I am not heard,
Was it what was needed? � 12/10/01
I had to change my direction
I have no other reason to believe otherwise
Whoops! � 12/24/01
What an idiot I must be to have acted that way
Whoops I didn�t mean it
for TV and every flashing light has none of my appeal.
I am a character of shape and only to a mold,
as the curves and corners of woman in which I cannot hold.
The touch of my environment can make me who I am,
yet the thought of holding on is mainly why I swam.
Away past the sound of chirping,
to a place that I was yearning.
I have not yet found a place in which my shape can fit,
for I have squeezed and tugged getting just a bit.
Of what I do not know,
and all I cannot show.
The site of everything around me cannot make me move,
but the gentle breeze that swaggers me gives me all I need to prove.
That the factors in my life's will,
are only what I feel.
I just lost all that belongs to me.
I am ashamed you dare to call me your own,
After the way you�ve watched me drown.
I�m far from being grateful,
You have been so hateful.
You say it wasn�t good for me to be so loving,
That�s like saying two years for nothing.
I don�t know what you were thinking,
And hopefully you�ve started regretting.
What you have done to my state of being,
I can only hope I don�t start keying.
Your lovely car that you still can�t call your own,
Cause I�m the one who gave you the loan.
Using people is all you think of,
What next, if you ask me I�ll say tuff.
I will not care if you�re gone,
As I see it my life has just begun.
I truly hope I see you later in life,
Then I can laugh at you with my wife.
My kids can learn from your example,
The stories that I will tell them will be ample.
How such a soul could deceive them,
And never again be there to help �em.
It�s never been this bad and never will I miss,
The times of having it all and knowing it was bliss,
And I don�t know why once it left the craving was even less.
But to me they are only apart of it,
For they chant and holler when I make a hit,
But when I don�t I know it�s a chance I just missed.
Down the line,
And right on time,
Whatever it is it makes me feel better than the rest.
But never impossible,
You throw away every card,
That you are willing and able.
A gain of freedom can come,
But what will come next is just a toss,
Up in the air you will succumb.
Your life will take many unexpected turns,
But all this does is build up your endurance,
For the final day has come and it no longer burns.
People can�t even think for themselves,
Don�t they understand when they try to avoid the pain,
It only makes it worse for everyone else.
Just open the doors and let you brain do the work,
It�ll want to analyze peoples� actions more,
And understand the meaning of everything that happens.
You let all of the others make the decisions,
You have no control of their speaking,
Because you can�t see their missions.
Well it happens everyday and it makes me sick,
To see that what is mainly, is overrun by what is hardly,
All because since they are wrong they are used to standing up for themselves.
I�m young but smarter than a lot of them,
My ideas and reactions are a natural mold,
Not yet misshapen by the everyday flem.
The ones that get heard, only say what wants to be heard,
I hate having a voice not yet being able to speak the language,
Of the people who run, I mean ruin the world.
And no feeling of disgust
But a feeling of worry and
A feeling that I must.
Or at least open a pathway
For new experiences and feelings
That I still haven�t reached till this day.
That my life is no more just for fun
Because to live is to love
And my life has just begun.
You thought I really cared and yet I didn�t
You thought I was mad and yet I wasn�t
What I wanted wasn�t what I got
What an idiot I must have been to throw it all away
Whoops I didn�t get it
Whoops I cant believe it.
