Falling
by L. Sith
Special
thanks to Kamorgana for beta reading.
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Chapter 8: Afternoon Tea
"Hello
Takeda-kun." Saitoh said through clinched teeth. The mere sight of that
moron was enough to push his mood from irritable to downright
homicidal. The universe must had been busy conspiring against him,
because he was now stuck in the same house, with all of his least
favorite people - none of which he could kill.
In short, he was trapped in hell.
And under orders to stay.
Which left him with only one way to solve his problem - to make Takeda
disappear from his sight.
Permanently.
"Get lost." Saitoh growled and attempted to slam the heavy wooden gate
in Takeda's face.
But
Takeda somehow managed to brace against the door in time to avoid
getting his face smashed in, which was a real shame - the man was so
notoriously hideous, any rearrangement of facial features would be an
improvement.
"What are you doing here?" Takeda demanded, sounding like he was
actually expecting an answer.
What a moron.
Saitoh
had no intention of providing Takeda with any information, not even
about the current weather condition, much less about his orders from
Kondo. He had better things to do with his time. So instead of saying
another word, he tried to slam the gate closed again, and this time,
hoping to break a few of Takeda's fingers in the process.
Unfortunately, the wooden door was too heavy for maneuvering, and
Takeda easily avoided dismemberment.
But it didn't overly
dishearten Saitoh. He glanced up at the darkening skies - life was full
of danger, and Takeda might yet get struck down by lightening. And
considering how bad his luck had been of late, Saitoh figured something
must go his way. Soon. And if not, he had no issues with helping fate
along a little by placing a lightening rod on top of Takeda's head.
"I'm
here for Takagi Tokio." Takeda said, snarling like a rabid animal. "And
I have Hijikata-sama's permission to court the women. You. Do. Not. If
you dare to get in my way, I WILL report you." Takeda started frothing
at the mouth.
Which troubled Saitoh not at all; he had seen
Takeda do worse. But for Takeda to act like a vicious beast right in
front of Tokio was stupid beyond measure.
And this was Takeda's idea of a courting attempt?
What an imbecile.
On
the other hand, considering that Takeda had tried to force himself on
the girl, the very first time they had met, growling like a crazy mutt
was downright gentlemanly for him. Takeda might even think of this as
his "best behavior". And based on the man's history, to expect more
would be unrealistic. If only Takeda was not a Shinsengumi, then Saitoh
could do the world a favor by getting rid of that piece of trash.
On
other hand, if Takeda was not a Shisengumi, the townspeople would have
banded together and stoned him already. Nonetheless, Saitoh felt it his
sacred duty, as a human, to forcibly evict Takeda from any woman's home.
Some animals should not be allowed to breed.
Or, at least, that WAS Saitoh's intention, until he heard a voice call
out behind him.
"You are not scared of him, are you, Saitoh-sama?" The maid incited.
That
instantly reminded him how much he did not like the two women behind
him either. So why was he protecting them? It would best if all these
idiots annihilated each other, then there would be no more annoying
people to ruin his day. It even had the added benefit of leaving him as
the only man standing, and by default, the victor.
What an elegant solution to all his problems.
So
instead of trying to slaughter Takeda, by himself, Saitoh pulled the
gates wide open for his adversary. "Come in." He smiled.
That
nearly sent Takeda running the other way. The man looked so terrified,
Saitoh wondered Takeda was going to wet his pants.
What a coward.
Saitoh
reconsidered his strategy. Maybe he ought to act real friendly towards
Takeda in the future, it seemed a much more effective application of
terror; except, the idea was so nauseating, his stomach would surely
rebel. On top of that, familiarity bred contempt, and if Takeda grew
anymore contemptible, Saitoh wasn't sure he could resist breaking the
Shinsengumi law by killing the bastard.
"Are you coming in or
not?" Saitoh grated out. As much as he would enjoy watching Tokio and
Takeda annihilate each other, his patience wasn't infinite.
Especially when it came to Takeda.
And
just as he was about to smash the idiot's face in again, Takeda edged
through the gates like a drunken crab, sidling as far away from him as
was physically possible.
What a moron.
"But
Saitoh-sama, Kondo-sama said - " The maid started whining, but before
she could finish, Tokio wisely clamped a hand over the idiot's mouth.
Which
prevented the headless chicken from saying more stupid things - an
astute move on Tokio's part, since nothing that came out of the maid's
mouth ever seemed to help their cause.
"Please go and fetch
refreshments for our guests." Tokio said to the maid. Then with a smile
that looked pasted on, Tokio turned and formally greeted Takeda. "I am
honored by your esteemed presence, samurai-sama." She bowed.
Takeda
bowed in return. And for countless minutes thereafter, the conversation
revolved around pointless pleasantries, until Saitoh's mind grew numb
from boredom.
He began praying for lightening.
However,
before either of his enemies could be struck dead, Takeda managed to
verbally pressure Tokio into inviting them inside.
So they
followed as Tokio led them through the inner recess of the estate, and
into the garden, where, amid the picturesque landscape, a tearoom arose
like a solitary haven for exalted priests. Shoji screens, on all four
sides of the structure, opened to the surrounding scenery, giving it
the advantage of a gazebo in summery weather - plenty of sunlight, lots
of fresh air, and vista all around. Saitoh immediately disliked the
place. There were too many bushes and trees for enemies to hide behind,
but none of it gave any cover to the tearoom itself. It was a tactical
nightmare.
But Saitoh didn't share any of that information
with Takeda; he merely arranged it so that he would have the least
vulnerable seat and Takeda the most vulnerable one. After all, it would
be a gift from heaven if Takeda got killed by a stray arrow.
Which, unfortunately, couldn't occur fast enough for Saitoh's taste.
"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" Takeda oozed towards Tokio.
And
Saitoh felt the need for a bath just for standing in the same room with
that trash. Couldn't the moron at least wait until everyone was
properly seated and the refreshments served? No wonder the two women
risked their lives begging help from Kondo. Takeda fouled the air so
badly they had no hope of surviving from asphyxiation anyways.
So
in the end, tactical advantage or no, Saitoh decided to abandon his
original seating plan, and took the spot opposite of Takeda instead,
careful to keep Tokio between him and the slime ball.
Perhaps not getting rid of Takeda when he had a chance was a mistake.
"We
shall have to get to know each other better." Takeda said, continuing
to spew slime at the girl, and this time, the moron's right hand
reached out.
To grope Tokio. In broad daylight. In front of two other witnesses.
While in uniform.
What kind of a lowlife. What a disgrace to the Shinsengumi.
And
despite his desire to see Tokio suffer, Saitoh's hand immediately
reached for the hilt of his katana. Takeda's action would have
disgusted any decent samurai beyond tolerance. It demanded swift
justice.
But fortunately, before he could break the
Shinsengumi law by drawing his blade and chopping Takeda's arm off,
Tokio leaned sideways, towards the maid - to ostensibly reach for the
refreshments.
Which also conveniently moved her out of Takeda's grasp.
"Mochi,
my lord?" Tokio asked, as she, not so innocently, turned and held the
plate of food right where Takeda's outstretched hand was.
Thus
foiling Takeda's attack and saving herself; nonetheless, it took a good
fifteen seconds before Saitoh stopped seeing red and forced himself to
release his grip on his katana. As much as he would have enjoyed
maiming Takeda, he had sworn his loyalty to the Shinsengumi and had
avowed to uphold all its laws, including the one that forbid
Shinsengumi members from dueling each other. Therefore, regardless of
the circumstances, he could not, and would not, kill another captain
for personal satisfaction. Besides, it was not as if Takeda got caught
making trouble at a brothel. Everything the scumbag had done so far was
within samurai privileges.
So, in theory, he had no good reason
to kill the scumbag. But it was hard to hold back where Takeda was
concerned. Calling Takeda a depraved bastard would be the
understatement of the year. The word "honor" was nowhere to be found in
the scumbag's vocabulary. Instead of serving those above him and
protecting those below him, Takeda lived to abuse every privilege. The
scumbag was even known to use his own men as shields during battles.
The only reason the bastard escaped Hijikata's purge was because he was
sly - the scumbag knew when and how far to push things. Forcing himself
on a helpless servant girl in a dark garden was exactly the type of
behavior that the scoundrel stooped to - minimal risk of discovery, and
even less risk of punishment. But forcing himself on the daughter of a
prominent merchant was a totally different story, and it was probably
the only reason behind this "courting attempt".
Saitoh itched to kill that bastard - it would do so much to reinforce
Shinsengumi discipline.
But that was Hijikata's job, and not his.
How unfortunate.
Saitoh
took several deep breaths. There was no need to go to extremes. Not
yet. Takeda probably didn't deem it safe to risk a repeat of the garden
incident, or the scumbag wouldn't be here playing games; therefore, so
long as Tokio stayed convicted and refused to give in, she should be
safe. And Saitoh knew, from first hand experience, that Tokio was
nothing if not convicted, and she in no way resembled the helpless
little butterflies that Takeda was so used to torturing. Plus, now,
with another Shinsengumi here to referee, Takeda would not be able to
resort to his more sordid methods.
The scumbag's victory was far from assured.
And Saitoh couldn't wait to have the last laugh.
In
fact, Tokio was handling Takeda's well-practiced sliminess commendably.
Every time Takeda tried a dirty move, Tokio would gracefully redirect
the idiot's attention: "Look over there, isn't that butterfly
beautiful? And here, try some tea, Takeda-sama. Oh, silly me, I had
forgotten the cups before. Can I get you anything else, Takeda-sama?"
And
when even that had failed, Tokio would quickly give the maid a signal,
and the other girl would interfere. "But my lord, you must try more
mochi, my lady spent the whole morning making it just for you." Or,
"Takeda-sama doesn't want any more tea? My lady would be heart broken
to hear that."
So the game went. Every move the scumbag made,
the Tokio team thwarted. The operation on the women's side was so well
orchestrated, Saitoh suspected those two of practicing their routine
beforehand. And as much as Takeda probed, the idiot couldn't find an
opening. Truth be told, Takeda might even be losing. Judged by the
grimace on the moron's face after each bite of forced feeding, the
mochi and the tea probably didn't taste very good.
Saitoh smirked.
What a pleasure it was to watch Takeda played for a fool by his own
victim.
Talk about divine justice.
Saitoh
sat back and enjoyed the show - it was like getting ringside seats to
the pummeling of an obnoxious adversary that he wasn't allowed to
touch.
And to have Tokio do the pummeling was an added
pleasure. His clever little kitten just sat there, looking so prim and
proper, while masterminding the entire victory - outclassing her
opponent without the moron even realizing it.
Saitoh always
did admire those that could defeat their foe without breaking a sweat.
Maybe he ought to give the little kitten a treat afterwards for doing
such a great job of punishing the annoying gnat for him.
On
the whole, things were going better than he could have hoped, except
for one minor detail. All the food ended up on the corner of the table
between Tokio and Takeda, and Saitoh's stomach was starting to protest
about its interrupted lunch. Unfortunately, although it was already
dinnertime, there was no hope for food in the near future - Takeda
showed no sign of wanting to leave, and it would be against orders to
leave Tokio alone with the scumbag.
But Saitoh also had no intention of starving on the account of those
two.
So he decided to help himself to a mochi from the plate.
"Those are not for you, Saitoh-sama!" The maid yelled and tried to move
the food out of his reach.
Talk about stingy. From the way the girl acted, one would have thought
that he was the enemy.
Perhaps he was.
But
he was a hungry enemy. And before the maid could move the plate
entirely out of his reach, he managed grabbed a mochi - the women's
reflexes simply could not contend against a trained warrior's.
Nonetheless, he really ought to have a talk with those two about their
attitudes.
He bit into the mochi.
And
he immediately wished the maid had moved faster. He had realized that
Tokio was a lousy cook from Takeda's expression, but even knowing that
didn't prepare him for the horror to come. The mochi tasted like pure
poison. That piece of toxic waste Tokio called dessert was saltier than
seawater, and bitter too, with a heavy dose of lemon.
But no hint of sugar anywhere.
And why was the red bean paste crunchy?
Not
that he wanted to ask. He would rather not know. His tongue was already
screaming in agony, he didn't need his mind to compound the terror. To
seek some hope of relieve, his hand raced for the teapot. He needed
something to wash the toxin down before it killed all his taste buds.
"Saitoh-sama!" Tokio yelled, sounding urgent.
But
he didn't even pause, nor did he bother with cups - there was no time
for that. So instead, he poured the tea straight into his mouth.
Which turned out to be his second biggest mistake of the day.
The
tea tasted more rancid than milk that had been sitting out for two
weeks, and it smelled fishy too. Yes, he meant fish. He had never
realized it was possible to mess up on tea brewing, but count on Tokio
to achieve the impossible.
"Are you all right?" Tokio asked, sounding gravely concerned
She should be, her cooking must have killed many of her guests in the
past.
Saitoh
rushed to the edge of the tearoom and spit everything out into the
garden, which he realized wasn't the socially graceful thing to do, but
it certainly beat dying of food poisoning.
Unfortunately, even that didn't help. The tea left such a putrid
aftertaste, he was certain that it could never be washed out.
How did Takeda manage to swallow that stuff? Repeatedly. The moron had
no taste buds.
"You are leaving." He declared to Takeda.
Which earned him an angry look. "Why?"
"Because if you don't leave, then I can't leave. And I am NOT staying
for dinner."
Perhaps
it was the vehemence in his voice, or simply remembered terror - his
statement actually earned a shudder from Takeda. For once, the two of
them agreed on something.
Takeda immediately got to his feet and excused himself.
Good to know that the moron's survival instinct hadn't been overridden
by lust.
Because dinner would surely kill them both.
"You
are not staying?" Tokio asked them with wide, innocent eyes. "But I was
going to serve sashimi. You must try it. I picked out the fish myself
at the market three days ago."
Which only served to quicken
their steps. The mere thought of eating a three day old fish was enough
to send any sane person running. In fact, Takeda almost broke into a
sprint, racing for the front door.
Saitoh made sure he wasn't far behind.
"Good night." Takeda hurriedly unbarred the gate and made for a final
escape.
And
Saitoh was about to follow suite when the maid called out. "But
Saitoh-sama, you must stay for dinner or you'll hurt my lady's
feelings. Kondo-sama had ordered you to protect my lady, and her
feelings are surely included."
That sent Takeda screeching down the street and around the corner so
fast, the moron's sandals looked like they caught on fire.
What a coward.
But he would have to deal with Takeda later. For now, he had much more
pressing annoyances.
He
closed the gate and turned his attention back to the two women. He
really needed to have a lengthy talk with them about the correct way of
interpreting an order.
Plus that long overdue lesson on proper respect.
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Next Chapter: New Alliances
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