Only in Your Dreams Chapter 22
Jan continued to hold a sobbing Joey in her arms as she searched the faces of Lance, Justin, Chris and JC. Justin and Chris� faces continued to register shock, while JC�s face took on an almost pained _expression. These were disturbing enough, but Lance�s _expression spoke of nothing short of inexpressible sorrow. Tears were freely tracking down his face, as he seemed to be silently mouthing something. Jan concentrated on Lance�s moving lips��what is he saying�what�oh no�it�s not Lance�s fault. He shouldn�t be saying that,� thought Jan in growing alarm.
�I didn�t do enough�I didn�t do enough�I didn�t do enough�� Lance silently mouthed, repeatedly. JC noticed Jan�s _expression and turned his attention toward Lance. JC immediately understood why Jan looked as she did. They both watched as Lance swiped away his tears as he slowly stood up then walked quickly out of the room.
�Follow him,� mouthed Jan at JC, who quickly jumped up and obeyed.
�Stay with Jan,� whispered JC to Chris and Justin, who attempted to stand up and follow him.
JC quickly raced out the bedroom door in an effort to keep up with Lance. He did not want a repeat of what happened to Joey.
It was quite some time later before Joey finally exhausted himself in Jan�s arms and fell into a fitful sleep. With the help of Justin, Jan was able to lift Joey�s body up from her arms then lower him back on to the surface of his bed without his even waking. She drew the covers up over his still body. She gently pushed stray locks of sweat-dampened hair away from his flushed face. She knew that, although tonight had been extremely painful for Joey, he could now begin to recover from the frightening nightmares that had been plaguing his sleep.
Chris had left the room some time ago once he had seen that Joey had calmed down enough. He had taken off after JC in hopes that he had been able to keep up with the distraught Lance. He did not have to go very far before finding the pair sitting at the kitchen table. Much to his relief, Lance appeared very much in control of himself as he was talking in his soft bass voice to JC, who was sitting across the table from him. Lance happened to look up and see the relief written across Chris� face and gave the older man a wan smile, causing JC to turn around to see Chris� approach.
�I�m sorry if I scared you and the others,� Lance said quietly, looking back down at his hands as he rested them on the table top in front of him.
�What happened?� asked Chris quietly as he pulled out a chair beside JC to sit down.
�Oh man�don�t sit over there�I feel like I�m being interviewed,� Lance moaned with a slight smile. �Here,� he said as he pulled out the chair beside him. �Come sit over here.� JC smiled at his friend�s words. It made him realize that Lance was going to be okay.
�Sorry man,� said Chris. He practically bounced around the table and plopped himself down in the chair. He was so glad to see that Lance seemed to be doing better than he had a while ago.
�So�what happened up there?� asked Chris again.
�I was so sure that I hadn�t done enough to help Joe, but JC here,� he paused to look at JC a moment before returning his gaze to Chris. �JC made me realize that I had done exactly what Joey had wanted me to all along. He was calling me, needing someone to listen to him, to comfort him, and that is what I did. I may not have done the best job�� He was instantly interrupted by JC clearing his throat and raising an eyebrow. Chris watched with a chuckle as Lance smiled. Lance�s gaze rose from his hands to JC�s face before moving back down to his hands. With a slight shake of his head, Lance continued his explanation.
�What I meant to say was that I did the best job that I possibly could under the circumstances��
Again, he received another vocal interruption along with a slight kick under the table. Lance winced at the contact that JC�s foot made, and gave him a weary glance as he rubbed at his shin under the table before speaking again.
�I did the best job that I possibly could is what I meant to say all along.�
After finishing the statement, Lance gave JC a look that said, �there�I did it�now are you happy?�
�Did I miss something here?� asked a slightly confused Chris as he continued to watch the silent exchange going on between Lance and JC.
�Go ahead JC�I can tell that you�re dying to tell him�� said Lance with a shake of his head and a smile on his face.
Chris watched with amusement at how JC�s face took on a glow of satisfaction.
�I told albino boy over there, that if he didn�t straighten up and realize that he had done only his best to help Joey, I was going to��
�I�ve changed my mind,� Lance quickly sputtered. �I don�t want Chris to know�or the others and I�ll stay straightened up so that you won�t tell them�okay?�
�Wait�you can�t do that,� began Chris as he looked at Lance in surprise.
�Are you telling me the truth man?� asked JC, ignoring Chris.
�Have you ever know me to lie about anything?� asked Lance.
�I have�I have�you can�t trust people like him,� said Chris as he looked first at JC and then Lance, hoping to catch their attention. He was desperate to hear what JC was holding over Lance�s head. The pair continued to ignore him, much to his disappointment.
�Okay, I believe you, but if you ever go back on your word, you know what will happen to you, don�t you?�
�I don�t�. I don�t�.� said Chris standing up now in complete frustration at the whole situation. �Tell me�somebody�please tell me�� Chris begged.
�It won�t happen again JC�I�ll work hard to prevent you being able to carry out that threat you made.� Lance stood up and pushed his chair in under the table.
�I�m pretty tired. I want to go check on Joey and the others before I go to bed. See you guys in the morning...and thanks JC. Uh, good night Chris and thanks for listening.� Lance turned his back on the two men and made his way out of the room.
�Wait up�I�ll come up with you,� called out JC. �Chris, would you mind turning off the lights and locking up the doors�thanks.� With that, JC trotted up to Lance and they both walked together out of the room.
Chris sat in stunned silence. �How did they just do that? They did that on purpose�they know I can�t stand secrets��
Hours later, the house was quiet. Everyone had finally gone to bed, and was enjoying dreamless sleeps�all except two individuals�.
Jan tossed and turned in her bed as her all too familiar nightmares once again interrupted her sleep.
�Oh no�oh no�� Jan screams as she brings her car to a stop several yards behind what is left of her husband�s mangled truck. Steam is still rising from the crumpled hood, the smell of gasoline is overpowering, the sounds of the wreck still reverberating in her mind.
Jan leaps from her car and begins to push her way through a gathered crowd, desperately trying to reach the vehicle that held Mike.
�Mike! Mike!� she screams, tears blurring her vision, soaking her voice.
�Mike!�
�Jan�Jan�sweetheart�here I am.�
Jan stops dead in her tracks. Her dream has suddenly taken an unexpected turn. In shock, Jan stands still�the crowd is no longer crushing her, preventing her from reaching her husband�s side.
�Mike?� her confusion evident in her voice as she watches a whole, healthy Mike approach her with a warm smile.
�It�s me babe�it�s me.�
Jan aches to reach out for him, but in her past nightmares, she would only clutch at empty air�she couldn�t bear to do that. She closes her eyes, in preparation for the return of the nightmare.
�Oh dear�� she gasps as she feels Mike�s touch�
Jan�s eyes fly open and there, standing before her, grasping her arm gently is her love, her life. Tears begin tracking down her face as she reaches up and caresses his face, not believing what she is doing, what she is touching..
�Mike,� she whispers as she is gathered into the arms that she has missed for so very long.
�Jan�Jan�I love you so much�honey, I�m so sorry that you�ve had to go through this.�
�Sh�sh�please don�t say anything. Just hold me Mike. Just hold me.�
Jan drinks in Mike�s scent as she holds onto him as if he were her lifeline. After several minutes, Mike speaks to Jan as he pulls back from her grasp so that he can look at her.
�Jan, honey, I only have a few moments to speak with you and then I have to go.�
Jan can only nod numbly, listening to the voice that she has longed to hear again.
�I want you to know how proud I am of you. You have gone through so much and you have held it together sweetie. I�ll always be around if you need to talk to me. I�ll be listening.�
�I�ve missed you so very much, please don�t go�I don�t want you to go,� she begins to plead as tears track their way down her face. Mike reaches up and wipes away the tears with his thumbs as he gently grasps Jan�s face in his hands.
�Jan�listen to me. It was my time. It�s not yet your time. You have so many more things to accomplish�so many more lives to touch. I�ll be waiting for you�don�t forget that.�
�Mike��
�I�ve got to go now. I love you. I�ll always love you. Take care Jan.� With that, Mike gave Jan one more hug, before turning to walk away toward a bright light shining in the distance.
�I love you too Mike,� Jan whispers, wiping away her tears as she watches her husband walk away.
�Mike�Mike�� Jan slowly opened her eyes, realizing that it had all be a dream, but she felt no sorrow�only joy. Mike was okay and now she would be all right. With satisfaction, Jan rolled over in bed and in amazement, she realized that she could just catch the lingering scent of Mike�s cologne on her pajama top�s collar.
Meanwhile, down the hall, Joey was caught up in a much too familiar dream.
Joey finds himself standing in a long, darkened hallway. He sees an open door in front of him and walks through it entering an empty room. He glances about at the white floors, windowless walls, and low ceiling. With fear, he sees a single candle lying on the floor at his feet. Taking a deep breath, he bends over and grasps the candle in one hand. At that very moment, he hears voices and footsteps coming from hallway as the light in the room grows dimmer and dimmer with each passing moment. In desperate fear, Joey searches for anything to light the candle as the voices and footsteps grow louder and louder in their approach to the still opened door.
Joey gropes through his pants pockets in search of a match or lighter but comes up empty handed. In growing fear, his eyes search for any hiding place in the room as he realizes that the voices and footsteps are nearly upon him.
Suddenly he feels a hand on his shoulder.
�Don�t!� he screams as he turns to face the owner of the hand.
�Hi Joe,� says Justin who is holding a lit candle.
�Hi there Jo Jo,� says Chris as he also enters the room along with JC and Lance, also warmly greeting their friend.
Everyone was holding lit candles as they stand looking at Joey, their expressions holding nothing but love and admiration for their distraught friend.
�Joey, we know that you�ve had a lot of doubts about your future and we apologize if we�ve caused you to feel that way,� says JC, putting his hand on Joey�s shoulder.
�You have so much talent to offer Joey. Don�t give up when things aren�t going your way. They will go your way, just give it time,� encourages Chris as he stands beside the young man.
�I look up to you so much Joe. I admire your hard work, your drive. I�m sorry that I haven�t told you that until now,� whispered Justin as he steps up to Joey and embraces him. Joey returns the embrace, appreciating it immensely. After a few moments, Justin steps out of his embrace and gives Joey a grin.
�Joe, I want you to know that we are all here for you. Please let us help you� please,� said Lance as he reaches out his candle toward Joey�s, offering to light his candle. All at once, JC, Justin, and Chris reach out with their candles, allowing the flames to mingle and intertwine with each other to create a larger flame. With trepidation, Joey looks at his friends, unsure whether or not he can carry through with this�what if�what if he fails.
�Stop it Joey�let us help you, please. We can�t fail if we stick together� if we help each other and allow each other to help us,� said Lance in an almost pleading tone. �
It�s only in your dreams Joey where you don�t feel successful. You are a success. Things will happen for you in time,� added JC.
What JC was saying suddenly made sense and with Lance�s heartfelt plea, Joey steps in front of the half circle of his friends and lowers his candle until the unlit wick touches the flame created by their candles. His candle�s wick suddenly flares and with that flash of light, Joey�s fears and doubts seem to vanish�his heart not so heavy, the burden on his shoulders lifted. Tears of joy begin to slowly track down his face as he realizes that he is never alone in times of trouble.
Joey slowly opened his eyes to realize that he had been crying tears of joy, tears of relief. With the dream fresh in his mind, Joey knew he really wasn�t alone. All he had to do was seek the help that his friends so desperately wanted to give him. With a satisfied smile, Joey closed his eyes as he allowed peaceful sleep to claim him.
Well, my first fanfic ever is finally finished�kinda bittersweet. Oh well, I want to thank each one of you for taking the time to read and review each of the chapters of this story. It has meant so much to me. I hope it has been as much fun for you to read as it has been for me to write. Thanks again and take care of you�. Kathryn
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