April 6, 2001 
Catholic iconograhy decorates New Orleans. Everywhere you turn, you see crosses, statues of Jesus Christ, or the images of various saints. Not surprisingly, I found myself contemplating my (non)relationship to God while walking down Ursulines toward the French Quarter. While I was lost in thought, a man in gray, black, and white robes, sporting a scraggly beard, and riding a bicycle, rode up to me, and stared. I turned my head toward him, and he asked, "Can I ask you a question?" I paused. Did he want change? Though ratty, I didn't sense desperate poverty. Is he going to pick me up? He had some want in his eyes, but not of that kind. "What is it? What's the question?" "Do you have any interest in the Bible?" I laughed. "You're asking the wrong person that question."
"No. You're not." She said, definitively. "What? What you do you mean?" "You're not so arrogant that you absolutely do not believe in God. I can't believe that you would be so certain He's not out there." "So what the hell am I, then?" "You're agnostic." "I thought agnostics were just cowardly athiests..." ... All throughout high school, this Korean guy tried so hard to convert me. Everytime we met he gave me the sales pitch. One day, I gave in, and went to his Bible study class. I walked into the church, and felt a slight shiver. They read passages from the Bible and discussed their meaning, while I kept quiet. At the end of the meeting, the group leader asked me to say something in prayer. My heart raced as I struggled to remember old dinner blessings or anything I saw on television. Though they all bowed their heads, I felt their inner eyes peering at me. I remember saying something about how open they were to a stranger like me, and how much love they felt for people. Before I could finish, I burst into tears. They let me stop there, and the Korean guy told me that was the most heartfelt prayer he had ever heard. I was welcome anytime. I never went back, because that was all I needed to hear. title stolen from the swans album of the same name |
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