The Safe,
The Painting,
and the Knockwurst Sausage

Details of series,
and cast of characters
"Allo, Allo" was a British sitcom set in France during the German occupation of World War 2. The action centred upon Rene Artois, a caf� owner, who ran the caf� with his wife, Madame Edith, while attempting to walk a fine line between not annoying the Germans enough to be shot and not being a collaborator. His life was made more complicated by the fact that the local Resistance leader, Michelle, seemed to believe that he was a hero who was willing to die for France. Naturally, he didn't want to tell her otherwise, in case the Resistance shot him for collaborating.

In the meantime, Rene was attempting to carry on with his life and his affairs, including those he was having with his two waitresses, Yvette and Mimi. He was planning to leave his wife and live with one of his mistresses after the war and this 'retirement' was to be funded by selling the painting by Van Kloomp which he had hidden in his cellar. The painting was hidden within a large Knockwurst sausage, and there were also several fake paintings hidden within large Knockwurst sausages, (all these sausages were hanging from the ceiling in Rene's cellar along with various other foodstuffs, onions etc.). Naturally, everyone wanted the real one, which is why there were so many forgeries knocking about.

NOTE:
In the sitcom, when the characters spoke in French, they spoke English with a French accent. When they spoke German, it was English with a German accent. If they happened to be bilingual, like Michelle, they would speak with a French accent when they were supposedly speaking French, and have a perfect English accent while they were talking in English. In order to maintain continuity, when Garrison and Actor speak in French it is written in the same way. Hope that helps. If it doesn't, take two aspirin and don't call me in the morning. :o)


CAST OF CHARACTERS

Heroes:
Garrison - an American officer
Actor - an Italian conman
Chief - a Native American car thief
Casino - an American safe cracker
Goniff - a Cockney thief
Madame Edith - Rene's wife and a very bad singer
Michelle - Resistance leader
Yvette - a waitress and Rene's mistress
Mimi - a waitress and another of Rene's mistresses

False hero:
Rene - caf� owner

Others:
Carstairs - a British airman, trapped in France
Fairfax - ditto
Herr Flick - local Gestapo officer
Helga - his mistress

Mentioned only:
Madame Fanny - Madame Edith's mother
Officer Crabtree - an Englishman posing as a French policeman
General von Klinkerhoffen - a German General
To story
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