body

Body

Wide feet. Bad eyes. Bad back. Rubbish lungs. Good to be alive!

Girt wide, rounded feet mean I can't wear all the shoes I want. Hence the trainers. Any other shoes make me cry after ten minutes. Hence the bare feet. And the plasters.These are mine and I end up carrying them in a bag rather than wear them.

I've got astigmatism. In my opinion, this is Latin for "functionally blind wihout lenses".

I used to do yoga. Right now, however, just standing up too quickly makes me ache. That's because I fell off a mountain bike last summer. I went over the handle bars and landed on my back, then the bike landed on top of me. I fractured my ribs on the front and back of my ribcage, tore muscles in my shoulder, neck, knees, calf and feet. I didn't realise how serious it was for two weeks, then got the x-rays etc. Ouch.

The reason I didn't seek medical help was because, in an incredible stroke of bad luck that could only happen to me, the day after the accident I woke up to find sewage leaking into my garden from a fractured soil pipe. Which tended to put my mind off my physical aches and pains. It never rains but it pours! And, no, I'm NEVER getting on a bike again.

Since then, however, I have slipped a disc in my back. Basically the jelly bit in the middle of two vertebrae has squished out (like a jelly tot being squashed) and is now coating my sciatic nerve and giving me unbelievable, crippling pain. Aided somewhat with a vast array of codeine-based painkillers and a nightly sedative I am bearing up just nicely until unbelieveably nasty surgery or spinal injections are planned for a few months' time. Oh good...first of all I have an MRI scan which is excellent, I can't wait.

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