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| This my second site to build in the last year. I have a story that I have wanted to tell. But, I just never felt it was the time to write it. But, a very dear friend made this background and images for me as a gift. And when looked at this beautiful work I knew it was made for my Very Special Story. Thanks Sharry My Canadian Friend for this gift I have been waiting on it and did not even know it. |
| So here goes, This story began about 18 years ago. You see this was during the time I was pregnant with my daughter. It was a very happy time. The Doctor had told me he was pretty sure the baby was a girl and that made everything perfect. We would have a boy and a girl. but it was also a very scary time for me. Because you see I knew there was something wrong with my baby. Everybody told it was natural to feel that way. But, this was different. A Mother knows when things are not right. I had been pregnant twice before and I knew there was something wrong. I tried to convince my Doctor and he would tell me "Oh you worry to much" You see my Baby did not move that I could feel. Occassionally she would get the hiccups and this which would be very annoying to some was such a blessing to me. During this time I worked at a Hospital and at least once a day I would go have them put a doppler on my stomach just so I could hear her heartbeat. Beth was to be delivered by repeat C-section December 19, 1984.Well, she had other plans and decided to enter this world on December 1, 1984. by emergency C-section. I was awake when my son was born. but there was not enough time for a epidural this time. So, I had to be put to sleep. I can still remember my first 2 questions: Was it a girl and is she alright. they said, Yes it is a girl and she is in the nursery. Well, with the drugs and everything it didn't click that the answer was kinda short. When I got back to my room I kept asking to see my baby. For them to bring her to me. They told me they could not take her from the nursery because her blood sugar was low and she was getting IV's. So I proceeded to get out of that bed and head for the nursery. There was no stopping me. So, with my husband holding me up on one side and a nurse on the other I went to see my new baby girl. I know I am being a little prejudice but she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen so tiny. She had wires and tubes everywhere. Up to this point we had been undecided what we were going to name her. We really wanted to name her "Maribeth " Mary after Darrell's Mother and Beth after my Mother.But soon as I saw her I knew she was "Beth" so only weighted 5lbs.10oz. and looked like a little doll. At this point they were still saying she was okay. Our world was perfect we had Ken our son 3 yrs old at the time and now our beautiful little girl. We thought everythingwas going good so my husband and parents went home..Couple hours later my Aunt Linda came by to see us. While she was there Beth's peditrician came by. I will NEVER for get his cruel heartless words. Your baby is funny looking, floppy muscles, has many symtoms of a Mongaloid, Trisomy 21, Down Syndrome, to say the least I was numb, I felt my whole world had shattered, He immediately started talking about tube feeding, Doctors at Emory, Extensive Therapy, I hated this man with all my being. All I could think about is a patient I had taken care of a few weeks earlier he was in his 40's and had Down Syndrome and everybody kept talking about how odd it was that he had lived that long. So at that point I did the only reasonalble thing to do. I went into denial. Yes, I did allow them to do all the test needed. but, I felt they were useless other than to prove that Doctor wrong. Beth was healthy no heart, or stomach problems which is very common in Down Syndrome Babies. No, she did not need a feeding tube. After about 3 days we came home. I read everything I could get my hands on. I had a good amount of stuff of my own from Nursing School. Everything I read said "yes". but, my heart kept saying "No". Beth was 6 weeks old and a good friend of mine husband worked for a trucking company and was able to get several cases of formula for me but it was a different brand than what Beth was taken so I called this Doctor to see if it would be okay to change her formula. When he called me back several hours later and his words were. Sure that formula will be fine. And Mrs. Hubbard your daughters test came back today it is positive for Trisomy 21. He never bothered to ask me if I had anybody with me or if I if was okay or anything. I guess it was pretty obvious I was crying my eyes out. I thought how could a person be so cold. So heartless. Darrell was at work he worked 2nd shift. I called my Daddy and Mama. I will never forget. It brings tears to my eyes to this day. They were here in just a few minutes. My Dear Daddy sat down on the Sofa and got me in his arms and did all he could to get me up in his lap and rock me. And My Mama sat and held Beth and Ken and cried. From there it has been a long road. Doctor after Doctor, Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapy. Everything that any Doctor told me to do. I did it. Even if they said might or might not help I did it . I grasp every straw to the point I feel I missed several precious years of my sons life I can never get back. I don't mean for this to sound like I am gripping about anything I have done because I am not. I think it is just in a Mother to do anything for her child. I continued to use this peditrician because he was suppose to be a really good Dr. even if he did not have a heart. When Beth was almost 2 years old. We took her to have her eyes checked and she did need glasses. Here opthamologist was probably one of her very best Doctors she was in Atlanta. She had very long hair and she would let her hair down and let Beth feel of it while see checked her eyes. Beth has always liked to touch peoples hair. The Next time Beth had to go to this peditrician after she got her glasses. This man told me her glasses did not surprise him because she suffered from lack of oxygen during birth and that probably did the damage to her eyes. But, he figured it really didn't matter since is was retarded anyway. Needless, to say that was the last time he saw my daughter. At that point, I decided he was not only heartless but ignorant. Beth started Occupational Therpy when she was 2 mo. old. by the time she was 1 yr old she was in Occupational, Physical and Speech therapy. We did not have the programs then that are available now. I was running everywhere everyday. She started school at 3 yrs.old. not public school. It was called Early Bird. A Early Intervention School. It was really more like a play group. and was only 3 hours a day 3 days a week. At 4 yrs.old She went to a Program called Headstart. This was 5 hours a day 5 days a week. then at 5 yrs.old she started public school which was about 17 mi. from our home. Part of the program was for her to ride the Special Needs Bus. Which was another one of those times I thought I was going to die. I didn't I just made good friends with the bus driver. When she was 11 yrs.old I took the job as the aide on her bus. And have been the driver for 5 yrs. School has not been easy. We have had some very good teachers,but we have also had some very bad ones. She has had a few that allowed her to just sit and play alone during class. And one that let her get lost a school 3 times within a couple of months. Needless to say this lady wasn't her teacher for long. The teacher she has now and I hope she keeps until she graduates in 4 years. Is great. It takes a very special person to work with these kids. Beth will be able to stay in school until she is 21 years old. According to Ga. Laws. She still has a few academic classes. But,they are teaching her mostly daily living skills and going to job sites. They go to different places like resturants. And work. they fold napkins wipe tables, fill salt and peppers shakers and stuff like that. Hoping to train them to be able to do some kind of job when they graduate. They go shopping and out to eat all the time, teaching them how to make a purchase and order food from a menu and pay for it. Sounds pretty simple but , to these kids it is a big deal. I have been around a lot of parents in the last 17 years which children with different disabilities And one thing I have learned is you have to accept the way things are and move on. There are some things you can do maybe to make things a little better but, you can't change it. And in order to deal with it you have to accept. My heart goes out to the many parents that are still in denial. It is hard at first, for example I used to dream about things with Beth. We would do this and we would do that. Well, we never did and we never will. I have 3 nieces that I love dearly but I used to sit and listen to their Mothers talking about different things: dance, cheerleading, beauty pagents, boyfriends just to name a few. And at times My heart hurt so bad I truly thought I would die. But, as time has past I have accepted these things. And you know what ? There is a bond between me and Beth that my sister-in-laws or any Mother with a "normal" child will never know anything about. You see God opened my eyes to some things I never really thought about before. Beth is my Best Friend, I will never have to see her pull out of the driveway alone, I never have to worry about a boyfriend or husband mistreating her,and I never have to worry about where she is at or what she is doing , because my nest will not be empty because she will be right here with her Daddy and me. If God were to come and stand before me this very day and tell me that he would make Beth "normal" if I wanted him to I would say no. Because she is the Angel that he intended her to be. And she would not be my Beth. |
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| Click on girl to visit Sharry's site! |
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| Ken's view on his Down Syndrome Sister |
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| My Angel ! |