A Glimpse into the Future of Paperclipping

In continuing with my boycotting of many summer movies and thus not being able to write reviews, and due to some extra time I have at work, my next review will be of Acco Jumbo Paperclips. These are not your father's paperclips folks. They are new and improved. It says so right on the box. They now have a patented design for extra gripping and smoother holding power, much like my ... you know. Another benefit is that although these are jumbo paperclips, they are lightweight and can lower your mailing costs if you enjoy paperclipping things and then mailing them. Some of you may be inquiring as to why do we need paperclips when we have staplers? Perhaps you've never noticed, but it can be difficult to remove staples of you ever need to add another page to the bunch or remove a page. Another staple wont cut it because then you get the weird effect of a double stapled corner. If you manage to remove the staple without serious colorectal injury, you are left with 2 unsightly holes that cannot be covered up, nor can you restaple in the exact spot because it will no longer be a strong bond. Acco Jumbo Paperclips are a real advancement in the industry and performed as advertised. My only real beef with them is that they are called Jumbo when in fact they should be called Large. I mean who sells paperclips in Small, Medium, and Jumbo? What qualifies something as Jumbo besides my junk? The paperclips I tested were made of aluminium, however they also come in Stain Steel for ultimate grip. That I gotta see. Anywho, this clips probably sell for around 1$ for a box of 100, but they cost me nothing since I stole them. For review purposes of course. King.

Fun factoid: Jumbo Paperclips in Spanish is "Sujetapapeles tamano gigante"