By: Simon and Schuster

I took a chance today and went to EB to see if they�d received Def Jam Vendetta. The game, which was supposed to come out on April 1st, supposedly will now arrive on the 3rd (perhaps it was someone's idea of an April Fools joke). Hmmm�.

Dear Strong Bad,
Can you give me an idea for an April Fool's joke?
Your biggest fan,
Jbo

Now then, why do I bring this up? Simple: I was going to sell Outlaw Golf to EB to see how much they'd give me for it. After all, I can't remember the last time I played the game and I never even completed a full 18 holes without turning the game off. And with that, an Itoop review is born.

The game features 10 characters all with various backgrounds (e.g. stripper, ex-con, wannabe rapper, Scottish soccer hooligan). It also features 8 different games, a tour mode of 40 games and challenges, and 3 courses. Not to mention that the commentary is provided by Steve Carell, formerly of The Mug Root Beer/Taco Bell/Mountain Dew/Szechwan Dynasty Dana Carvey Show and The Daily Show. On paper, Outlaw Golf seems to offer a unique, adult oriented experience. Yet sadly, the game ultimately fails on many levels.

The controls are some of the worst that I've ever seen in a golf game. Just moving the camera to see where the projected ball landing area will be involves some tricky manoeuvring, and you rarely get the view that you desire. The putting grid is tough to decipher and you have no mention whatsoever of how high the ball lies in relation to the pin. And to swing, Outlaw Golf uses a system where you have to pull the analog stick back until the desired power is reached (representing the backswing) and then quickly move the stick forward to complete the shot. Depending on how centered the stick was on the follow-through, your shot could go straight, hook or slice. I much prefer the more conventional "tap a button 3 times as the meter goes up and down" system found in games like Mario Golf and Links.

An innovative feature found in Outlaw Golf is the Composure Meter. By making good shots, your composure will go up and make the controls more forgiving and easier. Consequently, bad shots will cause you to lose your composure and then the game becomes more difficult. To have a chance at instantaneously changing your fortunes, you may elect to use a beating token and beat the holy hell out of your caddy to increase your composure. These tokens can be earned by completing various tasks, such as birdying a hole or multiple pars. Though interesting, this feature is completely lost due to the bad gameplay.

The character models are well done and the cut-scenes that follow each hole which can be downright raunchy (a little spanking between lesbians never hurt anybody, right?). And Carell's commentary can be brilliant at times, too. The problem is that even if both the animations and commentary are funny, they also get very repetitive. And worst of all, when unexplainable slowdowns occur, it just to adds to the player's frustration. Thus even with all sorts of bonuses to unlock, this game can be so maddening to play, that it takes away all replay value. And what's up with only 3 courses?

So that being said, I'll be really happy if I get $10 bucks for it. Then again, EB took Shrek off my hand for $30, so maybe I'll be able to fool 'em again! So until next time, kids: save your money for Mario Golf, scheduled for a late July release. And look for a Def Jam Vendetta review coming soon to a computer near you.

JBo
Six