Within the confines of institutions of higher learning, young men and women are contemplating new and exciting ideas. Their worldview is being molded daily as their spheres of knowledge expand. And some of this education and discussion is occuring in the classroom. I counter that most is happening in the lavatories of school. The bathroom stall is too often thought of as a place to pee on toilet paper and people's shoes alike or as a place to chuchu rocket (I always win!). However, it can also be a place of great philosophical discussion.

Whether it be about who to call for a good time (450-676-3474, ask for the Doctor) or which teachers are actually cross-dressing men, it is bastion of free speech. Much like the internet, people can express themselves anonymously. Often times other great thinkers will rebute and an entire conversation will be had. Not all of bathroom philosophy can be described as deep, but it is often ingenious. I especially enjoy the ones featuring pseudo-math such as the classic Se^x = f(u)^n (note: to the editor, that should be an integral sign and the ^ denotes to power function). But have you ever realized that the square root of 69 = ate something! For those readers who happen to be slower, think about the sexual inuendo of the number 69. Other writers seem to be blossoming poets:

Here I sit broken-hearted,
Paid a dime and only farted;
Next time I'll take a chance,
Save the dime and sh*t my pants.

or one, suggested to me by a friend,

F*ck yourself and save the quarter, this machine is out of order.

Now that's inflation at work! Despite all my tomfoolery about this subject, there are really some truly mind blowing things you can read in the bathroom stall. My personal favourite, and I go to this stall specifically to read it over and over, is "I am neither for nor against apathy". So next time you're sitting there on the can, wondering what to do in the interim, read the writings on the walls. Of course, if you happen to read something especially funny, don't laugh too loud or else you'll be faced with some interesting looks once you get out. Well, it's time for me to get a little thinking done, so if you see happen upon any great bathroom auteurs, please let the rest of us know, it could change the way we see the world.