Like many of my friends, I am now at university. Now, many of will instinctively conjure up images of keggers and women in togas (and if you didn't you haven't watched enough t.v.!). Unfortunately, I am now nearing the end of my first semester at university and I have yet to see one single toga-wearing college babe (in fact, I have never seen one ever). I blame this primarily on the one aspect that tv seems to gloss over every time there is show based on college life, studying. In fact, university students, especially now at exam time, are so busy memorising the derivation of the Clausius-Clayperon equation (or something similar) that they forget such basic needs like washing. You don't believe me? How could anyone forget to wash themselves daily, you ask? Well, try walking through a mob of engineers, and you too can experience the nasal horror. Trust me, you will never again be able to stomach the smell of onion soup.

As if this weren't enough, dietary habits become a victim too of exam time. My lunches the last few days have consisted of Wunderbars, chocolate Easter eggs and Dr. Pepper. Since I don't drink coffee (or eat oatmeal, for that matter, I find it smells like urine), I must have at least 2 soft drinks an hour for those late hours. My dentist has already fitted me for dentures and is paying for his next vacation with my check-up.

The only consolation of all this is that it will eventually end. There will be four months in which to recover from all this stress. Like hitting your head with a hammer, it's fun the first couple of hours but then it hurts. Once you stop though, you feel great (or concussed). My plans for the summer, you ask? (You actually probably didn't ask that, but it's late and I'm hearing voices.) I'm going to work (look for more of that in a future article), drink a bit and hopefully, just hopefully, see a college babe in a toga. We all have dreams.