Well, my one week of grace after school is over and so I need to try to find a summer job (again.... naargh). While I'm not too thrilled about another summer labouring away, carrying tourists in a riksha around the old port, my liver is thankful. You see, I've done quite a bit of boozing in the meantime and the old boy needs time to recover. Of course, with boozing comes making an ass of yourself, or at least in does with my chem boys - Kevin, Paul and Josh. Our unofficial motto is "If you're not going to do something stupid, don't come."

We are, of course, gentlemen and so after our nights of debauchery, we are sure to make the proper apologies. This is how our system works:

Friday night:
-Drink too many beers, follow beers up with shots and hard alcohol.
-Harrass any girl in sight, say stupid things like and I quote (on daylight savings night) "F*ck daylight savings! Are you ladies ready to come back to Kevin's place and take the hour back?"...repeat at least 8 times.
-Also, going on the dance floor with a hot dog in each hand is suggested.
-Wearing a toy hard hat and clip-on earrings is optional.
-Take pictures of these antics.

Saturday morning:
-Wake up. If not at home, find out where you are and with whom.
-Once properly sobered up, call up friends and figure out why that girl slapped you last night. This can require a great deal of detective work because everyone you called was drunk at the time and has a different version of every story. I swear, sometimes we take days to get our stories together.

Sunday afternoon:
-Send out the proper apologies. Make sure to pepper it with the diclaimer "I was really drunk at the time and I didn't know what I was doing". This still works if you were drunk but did know what you were doing/saying. (Suprisingly, this is a good way to get in the good books with girls because you can act stupid and say what you want (scoring bad boy points) but then recant them and act truly sorry (scoring nice guy points). I didn't make these rules, I just play by them. Make sure to apologize for the right thing. Mixing up the "I'm-sorry-for-slapping-your-ass-causing-you-to-spill-your-drink" and the "I'm-sorry-for-propositioning-you-after-slapping-your-ass-causing-you-to-spill-your-drink" is a big no-no.

Rest of the week:
-Bug your friends about the stupid things they did.
-Act embarassed when in public when they bug you about the stupid things you did, and then be proud when in private with the boys. Don't take yourself too seriously.
-Explain to teachers and family members why you have a black eye and why your mom accused you of being gay.

Well, that's what I've been up to for the last couple of weeks. I'm taking a week off to let my body regain balance. It's somewhat of a sad cycle, but one that I thoroughly enjoy. It's good fun and no one gets hurt - except for some girls' butts.