As many of you already know, our dear friend GP Frank recently came back to his adopted homeland (since he�s now as American as apple pie) for a whirlwind, cross-Montreal tour. Many of you had the (mis)fortune of hanging out with him for a few hours, I hear there was a super-exciting baseball game that certain people went to that no doubt was full of energy and overpriced hotdogs as every others Expos� game. I spent most of the weekend with GP, Hitch & Ditch, and Evil Louise, and so this will be a hilarious and sad account of our weekend. Codenames such as Dr Gaul, Hitch & Ditch and GP Frank are being used to protect the identities of those involved. There will also be a play-by-play scoring system for things I find amusing or extremely sad, and we�ll see who wins at the end. As always, wagering is welcome. So here we go.

Saturday, around 7pm
Dr Gaul is invited to Pam�s house for a BBQ and spa experience. Pam attempts to cook hamburgers, which in itself is quite amusing and possibly deadly. Choi and Hitch show up at the prospect of free food, even if it�s made by Pam. She somehow manages to drop a hamburger through the grill, +1 for Pam. Dr, Choi and Hitch drink beer while watching others cook for us, +1 each. Another hamburger goes through the grill, +1 Pam. After food, we get into the spa. No points because we were wearing bathing suits unlike last time, but +1 each because Pam�s bf goes home leaving 3 guys and Pam. Final score: Dr, Hitch, Choi = 2; Pam = 3.

10pm
Dr, Hitch and Choi leave Pam�s when Terrence comes back to get some from Pam. +1 to them for canoodling while her parents are gone. Also may I give a bonus +2 to Pam�s mom for being cool and very liberal with the alcohol. Choi goes home and goes to bed. +1 to me and Hitch for not being Choi. Dr and Hitch leave to go downtown, +1 to Dr for being a jackass and forgetting his wallet at Pam�s and having to go back. Final score: Dr = 4; Hitch = 3; Choi = 2; Pam = 4; Pam�s Mom = 2; Terrence = 1.

Brutopia, 11pm
We catch up with GP, Evil Louise, Eric �The Silencer� Brosseau, Liz Jones and her not-bad looking friend, Andrea I think. I only remember because I�m Andrew, she�s Andrea. Andrew, Andrea. Andrea, Andrew. +1 for being a dork to me. For the next 2 � hours just imagine some solid drinking because of course I can�t remember every drink we had. Our waitress was slow, but that might be because we kept calling her a different name every time. +1 to Tammy for putting up with that. Now there are assorted points given out for various witty and stupid remarks that must have been said but I can�t remember, so we�ll call it even at 5 for everyone except Brosseau who gets none. And now the bonus points. Hitch and GP +3 for buying us some drinks, +2 to GP for getting us the wretched Snakebite. +2 to Evil Louise for being smart, not drinking hers and giving it to the Dr, + 1 to Dr for attempting to drink his and Evil Louise�s. +1 to Dr for puking all over Brutopia bathroom. +1 to GP for jumping up and down like a fool when Dr puked, +1 to Dr for getting right back on the horse and drinking more 2 minutes later. +1 to Liz for hanging around with us, +1 to Andrea for her cool little metal thing on her finger that both Hitch and Dr tried on to give each other the finger. Scoring after this round: Dr = 13; GP, Hitch = 11; Evil Louise = 7; Liz, Andrea = 6; Tammy = 1, Eric = 0.

Later
We decide to leave Brutopia and head down to Cheers. +2 to GP for humping not one but two fire hydrants. Brosseau, Liz and Andrea leave so +1 to the rest of us for now being Brosseau free. Cheers turns out to not be too much of a happening place tonight. It�s half empty when we get there. +2 to Evil Louise for attempting to pick up girls for us, especially Hitch who needs all the help he can get. +1 to Dr for lying through his teeth. Oh ya, +1 to GP for grabbing Evil Louise all over. +2 to Hitch for pretty much being the man at Cheers and knowing everyone. Somehow we meet Judy Brosseau and her English friend. +1 to the males of the group. +2 to Chrissy for being from England. +2 to Judy for being Judy. Score: Dr, GP = 16; Hitch = 15; Evil Louise = 9; Chrissy = 2; Judy = 2.

Burger King and NDG, 3am
Ok, went to Burger King. While in line, we talked about things from England with the English chick. The Beatles, Fish �n Chips, James Bond, Prince Charles. +1 to Dr, Hitch, GP and Evil Louise for being so cool. After eating, Judy kidnapped us to her house in NDG. She just hailed us a cab and stuck us in to hold on for our dear lives. +3 to Judy for that, +1 to us for letting her kidnap us. Of course, our driver was a moron and we couldn�t remember where to go really. Meanwhile, Evil Louise is in a strange house in a strange city with 2 hot chicks. +2 to Louise for not succumbing to the pressure. Luckily, Hitch saved the day by leading us to the right house and earning 3 points. �Sleeping� arrangements were Dr, GP, Evil Louise in one room, Hitch and Chrissy in another, Judy by herself. +1 to Hitch for the hookup he got from Judy. Of course, sleep was not to be had. +1 to GP for letting me sleep with his girl, +1 to Evil Louise for being able to hold back and not jump me like I know she wanted too, +1 to Dr for being so good looking. There was much bed squeaking coming from Hitch and Chrissy. After some investigation Dr discovers Hitch has put on a cowboy hat. +4 because that is funny, it woulda been +15 had he gotten some with the hat on. Next time. Dr, GP, and Evil Louise don�t feel like sleeping and decide to ditch Hitch. +1 for us, it was funny at the time. +1 to GP for calling me a soccer mom while driving him home in my van. Oh, I remember now Hitch and I asked Evil Louise if she had cattle and guns and she said yes, but she was joking, yet we believe her. +1 for us for being morons, +3 to her for thinking we�re morons. Score: Dr, Hitch = 21, GP = 20, Evil Louise = 17, Judy = 4, Chrissy = 2.

Sunday Night
GP, Evil Louise and Hitch go to Mount Royal in the afternoon. Dr works all day. They meet up at Place Ville Marie. +1 to Dr for parallel parking his van downtown. It is decided to eat at Moe�s. Our waiter�s name is Paco. Actually his name is like Bill or something, but I call him Paco. Evil Louise is a klutz and spills her water like 3 times, +3. After supper, we stop at the bank. GP Frank pays me for the supper, and then whips out his cock in broad daylight. Not sure if that�s a plus or a minus, but we�ll say +2, and that�s being generous if youknowwhattamean. +5 to Evil Louise for obvious reasons. We walk around Old Montreal checking out the hotties while Evil Louise tells GP he�s an ass, which of course everyone already knows. We watch fireworks, sitting by the dock of the bay. Hitch calls a security guard a Nazi, +1. Afterwards more walking to the car. We stop at the Bus Terminus to relieve ourselves. +1 to GP for an extra long pee.

And that�s our weekend with GP. You had to be there for most of it, but the drunken memories will last a lifetime. Hopefully GP doesn�t come back too soon because my wallet couldn�t handle it. And now for the final score. Just before I�d like to give 10 bonus points to Evil Louise, who really isn�t evil at all, not one bit. Which makes her all the more deserving of bonus points. Who else among us would put up with that guy???. Although GP gets 2 bonus points just because he�s actually good guy. Alright, here�s the final score for everyone:

Evil Louise:	35
GP Frank:	25
Dr Gaul:	22
Hitch & Ditch:	22
Liz:	6
Andrea:	6
Judy:	4
Pam:	4
Chrissy:	2
Choi:	2
Pam�s Mom:	2
Tammy:	1
Terrence:	1
Eric:	0