There is a group so secretive, so devious and so insidious that their doings go completely unnoticed. No, I am not writing about the Freemasons, members of MENSA or even avid fans of the WWF. The group for which this piece is dedicated is...wait for it...bus drivers.

Ah, yes. The mere mention of those two words in conjunction (bus and drivers, in case you weren?t paying attention) brings a scowl on almost anyone?s face. It might be my personal opinion, but I believe most of them are plain creepy. The way they all wave at each other when buses pass. Let the truth be told: they are actually doing a ceremonial greeting. With the simple flutter of a hand, the time, place and nature of their next meeting is decided upon. A nod is especially meaningful. It means that the particular rendezvous in question is a non-miss situation. Probably a new leader will be voted upon. Either that or they will devise some crafty plan, like never stocking enough schedules or putting the wrong ones in their buses.

I can divulge this information because a contact of mine infiltrated their secret base, otherwise known as that little shack at one end of the Brossard (QC) terminus. Posing as one of their own, much like Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut, he witnessed one of their congregations, during which they voted on a plan to stop all their buses at exactly 8:36 a.m., to buy coffee, while a busload of people wait patiently. This motion was passed with little resistance.

There are good drivers, however. You know, the ones who say ?Bonjour? and actually thank you for riding on their bus. These are the rebels, the freedom fighters. Curiously enough, notice how none of the other drivers wave back to the nice guys.

You might be wondering, ?Why? Why are they doing this?? This is a good question, a really good question. And like all truly good, magnificent, absolutely spectacular questions, an answer is elusive. I have not yet been able to ascertain the motives behind their plot, but I am sure it is all part of some nefarious scheme to make everyone late for everything, all the while keeping coffee shops along the bus routes in business. The point is, whenever you get on or off a bus, smile and be polite, but in the back of your mind, know this: I, and now all you who have read up ?till here (congratulations!), are aware of their plan. It will not go unnoticed...