Home
 Articles
 Reviews
 About Us
 Links
 Extras
  • Malgo Comics
  • Heel of the Week
  • Bulletin Board
    • The Do's and Do Not Do's of Finding a Place to Live
    By: ASY

    Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You may remember me from such informational videos as Fire in the Hole: A Beginner's Guide to Proctology and You Shave Your Face Using What?! I'm here to share my experiences with finding a place to live. Most university students don't have to endure this process, but I figured one year of living in residence is enough... bunch of drunken first years, 2 am scream fests, not to mention that skinny Italian guy who wears women's clothes. No more communal bathrooms for me. My roommate, referred to as Fromasta, shares the same sentiments (lest perhaps the Italian guy), so we decided to find a place together. Here are some tips when looking for a place to live.

    Note: these tips, as you will see, require no further embellishment.

    "No more communal bathrooms for me."

  • DO start early. Luckily, we did this.

  • DO NOT set your hopes too high. At one point, we hoped to rent eight rooms within two houses next to each other. We thought of huge parties, planned who would live in which house, and so on. Fools were we; we ended up getting the house, but ended up being only three. Hoping for hot neighbors doesn't help either. Maybe a little...

  • DO NOT panic (thank you Douglas Adams). You will get shot down. Many times. Do not follow Fromasta in proclaiming, "If we don't get this house, I have NO IDEA what we're going to do", bursting into tears, running with flailing arms into a bathroom stall. At least that's how I remember it.

  • DO zip up your pants when visiting a house. Can't stress this enough. PLEASE, for my sake! Poor Fromasta, wondering why that girl was laughing at him...

  • DO try all the water taps, but only after asking. Nothing more embarrassing than having to cover for your friend who voraciously dives for the taps upon entering the kitchen. Once again, poor Fromasta...

    After this experience, I've learned two things: First, no house is perfect. I will be spending the next 8 months in a 103 year-old house that looks like a dump from the outside. Second, don't bring Fromasta with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go cross my fingers, and hope for some hot housemates.

    		•

    Be heard! Leave a message on the itoop bulletin board.
    Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

    1