Single.

The word congers up so many meanings. Webster's Dictionary describes single as -being the only one; unmarried; unique; solitary, for one person or thing. To someone in a bad marriage the word would mean peace. To another, being in an unhappy relationship, single would be seen as freedom. But to men and women everywhere that are not in a relationship it signifies loneliness, a condition that needs to be rectified.

We live in a society that is quick to get out of relationships, then just as quick to get back in so the word "single" does not attach itself to them for long. Being single is just too embarrassing. You feel left out if you're single. You can't; double date with your friends, go to couple parties, entertain couples etc.

This creates the need for the hundreds of dating services available, on and off line. A friend recently convinced me to join an online dating forum. A quick look around made me see how many men and women are looking for the same thing - a soul mate. Almost every ad mentions," looking for my soul-mate". Most of the ads are so serious, screaming in desperation- " I have tried every where, please let me find you here!" The ads list their wants like a shopping list that needs to be met in a hurray- "attention shoppers ten minutes until closing".

I decided on a different approach. I titled mine "Auction! Model 8! Mint Condition!" I then went on to list my "features and options" like I was a rare car up for auction. Instead of "looking for" I put "bidder's requirements". Do I expect to meet my true love this way? No, but I have had some interesting chats!

For me, being single is a good way to be right now. I am happy and content. Being alone has allowed me to get to know myself and make changes that I feel are necessary for myself and any future relationship. How can you be in a relationship and not know who you are deeper than- I like this, I like that? That's why so many people "lose themselves" or "get taken over" by their mates. When the relationship ends, they are lost. That other person had literally become their whole life.

If you are in a relationship right now, take the time to get to know yourself independently of your partner. Create separate interests, goals and friends. When you are together, you will bring more to the table. If the relationship ends, you will not be as devastated.

You will always have you.

If you are single right now, spend time with yourself, your thoughts. By making yourself busy every minute of the day you are only avoiding yourself. Make the time to spend with you.

By asking and finding out who you are, your life will be full no matter what you do or who you do it with. Your burning need to "find someone" will be lessened because you will be self-satisfied.

You will become your own soul mate. You will change your search to "looking for a companion soul-mate".

Making and dating online

• Single? Married? Find Your Soul Mate
  Being single is just too embarrassing. You feel left out if you're single.
• How to Flirt on the Net For Men
  The same rules of gentlemanly conduct that apply in life, apply on the Net.
• How to Flirt on the Net For Women
  A cyber-love affair is a relationship
• The Perception Of Perfect Beauty
  It seems to be more satisfying to find someone who is perfect for us, than it is to find someone who is just flat-out perfect.
• Put Yourself In Tip-Top Dating Shape
  Addressing the causes and conditions of your previous failures will hopefully prevent you from failing again
• Affirming Love
  Affirming a desire rather than whining for what you want is the first step in taking an active roll in creating the love you want in your life.
• 5 Good Places To Meet The Opposite Sex
  Where to look.
• Making the First Move
  How do you go about making that first move?
• The Need For Love
  It is a basic human desire to seek out love
• Smile, Though Your Fart Is Breaking
  Of all the advice you pick up from these articles, nothing will work better than a good old fashion smile.
• How to attract true love
  Many singles hope for a wonderful relationship, but few believe such a relationship will actually happen.
• The "Perfect" Partner
  The perfect partner, do they exist?
• Committing to the Moment
  Don't ever, ever commit to more than the moment until you've known a man at least six months
• Harry Got It Right
  Years ago, when I saw "When Harry Met Sally," I was on Sally's side.
• Can You Find "The One For You" In Cyberspace?
  Placing an ad opens up the opportunity to meet others
• The Dating Game
  Above all, remember to have fun and enjoy the game of dating.