Here are some of the funny things my friends (including members of my university family and also durge family) and I have said. The frog mentioned in some of them is Fifi-Fred my lucky, trensgender, bean frog.

"I didn't mean a boy/girl/elf threesome" - Matt

"I didn't recognise Matt with his shirt on" - Me

"Tourists don't count as genocide" - Me

"That Mrs Wark makes me wish I was a female lesbian" - Joe on #durge

 "I repeat, I am not a frog fetishist" - Matt

"Neil doesn't have exam stress - he's a frog fondler" - Jennifer Gray

"Stop fondling the frog" - Jeremy

"You've made it all squishy" - Me

"Yes Neil, you're my role model" - Jennifer Gray

"You can't go wrong with leather" - Me

"Lie down in the middle of the road and do it" - Neil, "It's pedestrianised, you won't get run over" - Edain

"It's got pretty, gay elves in, it must be good!" - Me

"Every time I move it the water moves, damn science" - Shelley

"We could burn my tongue, see what colour it goes" - Me

"It feels tantalisingly wicked" - Dan

"just hd faromal" - Rachel (after formal) on MSN

"Australia doesn't happen" - Sam

"You're hurting Alan Rickman!" - Me, "I'm sure he doesn't mind a bit of pain" - Shelley

"Messy is good when it involves chocolate" - Me

"I'm sure his would be a big marrow" - Shelley about Snape

"I have to learn to say no" - Gemma

"You can never have too many pretty things" - Me

"I don't want to think about Filch and a sex doll" - Shelley

"I want Jane Austen" - Jamie

"It hurts but it's so, so good" - Me

"I think I kind of proposed to my tree" - Gemma

"What does a dick look like?" - El J

"Alan Rickman would look good in fishnets" - Shelley

"I am the god of hell crumpets" - Helen

"It looks like amini banjo or something" - Rhian

"It must be my masochistic McFlurry tendancies" - Me

"I'm busy with the stoat" - Helen

"Tight black leather and power are a *good* combination" - Shelley

"Mr Flibble's very dangly" - El J

"Shove the batteries up his bum and watch him go" - El J

"I had to gargle S club 7" - Cat

"Can you do it with a pigeon?" - Hel

"You've got to squeeze him in the right place" - El J.