What is it that I can do?

by Flourite

When did I first sense his anxiety?

Everyone said he was cheeky, but I thought that was cute.

The first time we kissed he was terribly awkward and shy.

The moment we were alone he would want to be indulged.

When I would call his name, he would respond with a joyful face in a sweet voice probably only I have ever heard.

He probably did it unconsciously.

I certainly loved him.

I loved the time I spent with him more than anything--more than tennis.

The reason it ended was a difference in values. One of the common reasons.

I had no intention of trying to be like a normal couple. I had thought that Echizen was the same, but I was mistaken there.

He began to want the "outward appearance."

The "outward appearances" of a couple.

He must have been feeling anxious about something.

Our relationship was not something that would be approved. It would probably not be allowed.

Someone could easily reject it. They could speak ill of it, saying it was disgusting.

And this relationship could end someday.

I could easily imagine his anxiety.

I may have been able to sweep away or soothe that anxiety.

But, his pride would not have allowed that.

Of all things, I didn't want to hurt him.

That was why I accepted the answer he had come up with.

--Let's split up.

--...That's fine.

Because this was what I could do for him.

"You are an idiot."

It was strange because I was still the captain, even at a time like this.

I didn't say a single gentle word.

I understood very well that I was talking to him as the captain, and was mad as the captain.

I also knew that he was about to cry.

If I could only say something gentle...but only practical words would come out.

When I left the health room and paused, I could hear it.

He was crying, suppressing his voice.

Was this really all I could do?