Horror Part 10

Alice, Sweet Alice - D+

Young Karen is murdered on the day of her first confession, suspicion immediately falls on her troublesome older sister Alice. There are more murders and everybody starts to believe Alice is the killer but is she? I had such high hopes for this movie, I had been given such glowing reviews of this movie, that it was an American Version of a Dario Argento Film. While this movie has a very good idea but is destroyed by very uneven writing and some of the most ridiculous over acting I have ever seen in a horror movie. The acting, especially of the girl who plays Alice. The murders were shocking and were of people you didn't expect to die but the horrid acting inbetween made them pointless, you can have murder but if you don't care then it really loses all its impact. This is the 1st substanial film role for the actress Brooke Shields who plays Karen, the little girl murdered in the first twenty minutes. A strange piece of trivia the girl who plays Alice who is supposed to be 12 in the movie was played by a woman who was 19. At least she did look the part although her acting was so ridiculously over the top it really isn't a surprise that she made only 1 other film after this. I was very disappointed with this film after so much had been said about it I was expecting a lot more than what I got.

Satanico Pandemonium - B+

This is one of those movies everybody has heard of but nobody has ever seen. You have heard of this movie from the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodrigeuz film, From Dusk Til Dawn, here the yummy Salma Hayak plays the queen of the Mexican Vampires Satanico Pandemonium. When Quentin Tarantino was still working in the LA video store there was a movie poster for this film at the store and the name stuck with him until he decided to write From Dusk Til Dawn. Ironically the name is incorrect, it should be Satanica because Salma is a woman and Satanico is a guy. In any case this is a movie abour Maria, a young pretty nun who is good with animals and kind to the black nuns who are mistreated in the convent. But all is not well, she keeps being visited by this mysterious man dressed up as a shepard, who keeps offering her an apple. He is, of coures, the devil and after having his way with her she becomes his willing servant, seducing and murdering all those around her. This is without a doubt Mexico's finest example of Nunsploitation and one of the best Nunsploitation movies I have seen. This is not for the religious or otherwise uptight, nuns getting naked and killing probably will not work with you. I liked it once Satan enlisted Maria into his wicked deeds but before that this movie really took it sweet time to get the ball rolling. The ending of the film is so painfully tacted on to appease the Mexican religious community it isn't funny, it really isn't but it doesn't really ruin the movie, it just is kinda obvious they had to put in there or the movie would never had seen the light of day. Nunsploitation was truly an invention of the 70s, they first appeared in the 70s and by the end of the 70s they were all but gone. I highly doubt they will ever make a comeback, the issues in them are a little too touchy for contemporary film makers to touch let alone getting any of it past MPAA or other censorship boards but if you are interested in the weird nunsploitation never leaves you wanting.

Shallow Ground - D+

A naked guy wanders into the sheriff station as the entire town is closing up because the area is going to be flooded when they build a new damn. The guy is covered head to toe in blood, way too much to be believable, you'll hear this a lot in this review, but it is the blood of three different people, and his finger prints are those of different people who are all missing. Now the sheriff and his deputies go to figure out what is going on. I had hopes for this movie, it was a clever idea that was poorly written. Okay this movie had some real serious logic and physics problems, one our intrepid hero finds his girlfriend/wife/financee hanging to a tree naked in the forest, after getting her down he just leaves her and goes off looking for the maniac, ah genius shouldn't priority one to be getting her the hell out of there? Problem 2 after questioning the naked guy our hero finds a message written on the door but this sheriff station has like all of three rooms and the message to be there and have nobody notice it in the next room is impossible. and those two happen in the first five minutes. The rest turns into an incoherant movie that lost me several times and never really gave a rip about finding me again. It felt like some goofy X-Files episode but the explanation wasn't really thought through. It was shot well, good editing, the sound sucked it was often several times louder than the voices of the actors which led to a lot of lowering and raising the volume while watching it. The acting was pretty sharp, including Stan Kirsch who it took me most of the movie to remember he was Richie from Highlander. Clever idea with poor writing.

Ghost Rig - B

A group of enviromental activists come to an mothballed oil rig to keep it from being toppled into the ocean. Their first goal is to move the wrecking crew off but they are nowhere to be found. They occupy the oil rig to keep it from being turned into a artifical reef. Something evil is on the rig and it start picking off the activists one by one. They think it is one of them and after finding one of their lot is actual a spy paranoia becomes the order of the day. One by one they are picked off until nobody knows who to trust. The movie ended a lot different than what I was expecting and I rather liked it. When I first started watching it I kept think back to LD 50, another British Enivormental Activist Horror movie but once the horror really started and especially when they found the video camera it became a lot better. I was happy I took a chance on this one because I wasn't expecting a lot and I was really surprised with it.

Phantoms - B

Beware This Horror Movie May Contain Ben Affleck. Rose McGowan, and Joanna Going, two actresses I like and find rather attractive are sister traveling back to small town Colorado, of course in the mountains, the only thing scary about small towns in Eastern Colorado is that it is so flat you can easily see Kansas, scary stuff. They find the entire town is deserted except for Ben Affleck who plays the sheriff with a past, plays yes but plays it badly. Ben Affleck plays basically the same character over and over a smart ass, in this one he is play a smart ass who happens to be the sheriff. But the only person who can save them is Peter O'Toole who plays a professor who knows about these killer worms that have devoured the town. His theory is that they are basically responsible for every major disappearence in history from the dinosaurs to the colonists on Ronanoke Island. He comes with the army but we quickly learn the army can't do shit, they never can in a horror movie they are about a good as an army of girl scouts to fight these worms it is up to hunky smart ass Ben Affleck to save the day. I like this movie despite it having Ben Affleck in a major role this is primarily due to the supporting cast of Rose McGowan, Joanna Going, Peter O'Toole, and Liev Schreiber, who plays a super creepy deputy. This movie is based on a book by Dean Koontz, only Deen Koontz book I have ever read. It wasn't a half bad book and they turned it into a not bad movie despite having Ben Affleck.

Carnival of Blood - D-

A lunatic is killing and dismembering women at Coney Island. An ambitious DA wants to play detective so he can get the case and be famous, like a killing at Coney Island is really not all that shocking. DA Dan is helped by his girlfriend Lara goes to investigate. We are treated to a host of images of Coney Island circa 1970 mixed together like it was stolen straight from Ray Dennis Steckler's opus the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies. The movie is one part Hershal Gorden Lewis, lots of spraying blood spraying from cheap dummies, the other is Ray Dennis Steckler's carnival fare, but both directors do a much better job. This is one aimless movie that wanders about from the fortune teller, the balloon game, and Dan and Lara's apartment yet never goes anywhere. It focues way too much on each victim without any introduction. The movie does manage to salvage at least something from the final chase with the pyscho and Lara. The psycho was pretty easy to guess who pretty early in the movie. Look for veteran character actor Burt Young as the hunchback carnie. About what I expected when I sat down to watch it.

Curse of the Headless Horseman - D-

Second non-ponro film by director Leonard Kirtman who made some really unusual porno films including Santa Cums Twice A Year. This movie is about a Mark the medical student who inherits a ranch out west and he and his hippie pals go out to make a go of ranching. The only catch is that the ranch is haunted by a guy on a horse who carries his head under his arm, so yes I guess they do deliver on the Headless Horseman in the title but I was expecting THE Headless Horseman, not just a headless guy on horseback who is looking for some long dead gunfighters. The weirdest thing about this movie has to be the narrator, he sounds like some old country singer. It takes 25 minutes to actually introduce that yes we are actually watching a horror movie when this crazed yokel tells them a ghost story that is shot over a rather decent gunfight for such a low budget film. But it takes almost 25 more minutes to finally have a death from the principle cast although it wasn't exactly the fault of the horseman who despite this being a micro-budget movie looks pretty decent, especially the gore around his neck. We have this Scooby Doo style ending then another ending then a little twist ending which made this movie end three times but never really began. It is really unusual that a porn director would see some skin, the only sexuality in this movie or Carnival of Blood is some making out, there is a lot of making out in both movies sometimes too much for such short films. There is probably a reason why he stuck with porn, it doesn't take good writing to make porn, something this movie really needed in the worst way.

Silent Night Deadly Night 2 - F

Okay, this was certainly interesting. If you remember from the first Silent Night Deadly Night the insane santa killer had a little baby brother, who although was just an infant at the time of his parent's death, he clearly remembers everything that happened. Well he followed in his brother's footsteps and became a psycho killer santa. He recounts his tale of killings to a psychologist on Christmas Eve of all times before he kills the psychologist and tries to kill the old mother superior from the orphanage where he and his brother grew up. I knew I was in trouble when I was watching the movie and the first 40 minutes were nothing but clips from the first movie. Filling half your movie with the previous movie is called cheating in the movie world and that alone gave this movie the F. It really doesn't deserve an F, I nearly had a heart attack laughing so hard at it but I was watching a horror movie not a comedy. The guy who plays Ricky, our insane Santa for this film has the oddest habit, when talking he bounces his eyebrows up and down like he is giving off morse code. Also I was never totally sure why Ricky had super human strength but he did, I guess Superman and psychos are just born super strong. The writing was bad, the acting was so painful it was funny. This is nothing but the movie acquvilant of a train wreck no matter how gruesomely awful it is somebody will watch it and that somebody happened to be me.

The Thing Below - D

A drilling team on an oil rig out in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico dig up two aliens from deep beneath the Earth's crust. These being aliens and this being a horror movie they escape and start causing havoc first on the science vessel taking one back to Washington for study and the other on the oil rig just as the trust Captain Jack Griffin, possibly a relative of the Family Guy's Peter Griffin, and his salty crew arrive to deliver supplies. They find the place empty in a state of disarray. The alien is also telepathic so you see your wildest dreams. Captain Jack finds his brother but the CIA?Nasa?Navy guy has other plans. You can tell the Mr Reiser character is some sort of evil spy because A. He wears a black suit with a thin black tie, B. He has no first name, C. Nobody likes him. The alien picks the crew off one by one until the survivors manage to escape the rig before the Navy drops something like a concert speaker into the water and blows the place up. In the movie they use a guy's biggest fantasy, a rather busty porn star, to lure him to his death, would this work anywhere else but in the movies? Okay you are on the creepy oil rig where people should be but aren't and then your dream porn star appears, what would you do? If your answer is run like hell you are probably a rational person. I also would accept open fire as a response but not walk over with a big dopey ass grin on your face. This movie was made by B-Movie auteur Jim Wynoriski, he has made such gems as Cheerleader Massacre and Chopping Mall. I was hoping for me, usually I like Wynoriski's work but this one was too much action movie and not enough of a horror movie.

The Ghastly Ones - C-

Three young couples are must spend three days in a creepy Victorian Mansion in order to get the family's fortune. Now that is a classic setup if I ever heard one. It takse a while but people start getting hacked up in a cheap but rather gory fashion. This is the first of two movies of Andy Milligan, a fogotten cult director. Andy's life story is probably more interesting than any of the movies he made. He was an army brat, his father was a dominating and violent alcoholic and his mother was a neurotic alcoholic, this turned him into a rather unusual fellow who in the 60s went from dress making to movie making. His movies frequently have dominating psychotic women in them, at least he doesn't deny he has a whole bunch of mother issues. He made a bunch of movies from the 60s to the 70s, mostly horror and a few porn movies. His career was like a lot of the B-Movie guys from this era like Russ Myer or Ray Dennis Steckler, low budget one man band movie makers. Andy not only directed, wrote and produced his own movies but he frequently built the sets and made the costumes. The biggest problem I had with this movie was the camera work, he shot the entire movie way too close, the camera frequently bumps into the actors. The movie needs a few long shots, he probably didn't have a camera that had a zoom lense on it or a microphone so he always had to keep the camera almost in the face of the actors. Interisting zero budget movie, the acting was a lot better than I was expecting, the costumes were pretty good trying to portray 1905 with no budget, the camera work needed help but all in all I was rather surprised with the quality of such a film like this.

Seeds of Sin - C+

Andy Milligan lets all his weird feelings towards mothers and families loose in this charming black and white tale of an alcoholic incestuous mother who terrorizes her family including a priest? a misogynist business man who has the hots for his sister and beats his wife, a daughter who is dating somebody who looks like they stepped off the stage of West Side Story (I think he is supposed to be a bad ass but looks a little too goofy to be one) and the youngest son who attends a military academy who happens to be gay (Paging Mr Milligan, Paging Mr Milligan). Even the servants are twisted they are plotting to kill the mother and steal her fortune. The whole family comes over for the holidays which is a really bad idea all the insanity in the family is awakened and then the family starts killing each one by one, holidays can be dangerous especially in a crazy family. This movie is strange, very, very strange but yet oddly interesting. After learning all the weird and disturbing aspects of Andy Milligan's life from the featurettes on this disc this movie felt so amazingly cathartic for Andy, the dominating crazied mother, each of the male characters in the family are probably parts of his personality, the women the women in his life. This movie felt a little more at ease than the Ghastly Ones, I think Andy was more comfortable in Black and White, he actually has medium shots in this movie. One little problem that would probably drive most people insane is the camera does bounce around really bad in a couple of scenes. But you must remember this was all done on handheld cameras back in the sixties before the days of the steady cam. I liked this movie more than Ghastly Ones, everything felt more at ease despite it being so incredibly weird. This is not a movie for most people, it is deeply in the weird world of the 60s grindhouse full of incest, murder, family hatred, and insanity.

Countess Dracula - A-

The Hammer telling of the story of Countess Erzebet Bathory, a real 17th century Hungarian Countess who killed as many as 600 girls and young women so she could bath in their blood. She believed their blood would bring back her youth, some accounts at the time say it possibly worked because she never seemed to age. In this version Ingrid Pitt, who plays the Countess, is already old and discovers the secret that virgin blood will make her young again. Boy does it ever, she becomes the yummy Ingrid Pitt with only one girl. One of two problems, one it isn't exactly permanent you have to bath frequently, the other is that the Countess' daughter is returning and she will know something is afoot when mom is as youthful and hot as her. The daughter is played by Lesley-Anne Down who you may know from Soap Operas or other Television shows, she is also very yummy in this movie. She is kidnapped by the Countess' castle steward and then takes her place so she can romance the handsome new noble in the area. But she has to keep killing young girls in order to stay useful and the townsfolk begin to notice. I was expecting a vampire movie but I got a pretty good virgin killing murder mystery instead. Very good Hammer movie despite not involving either Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee, but it did star Ingrid Pitt. I liked the movie, it had a couple of little issues, but nothing that wasn't easily overlooked in the course of the story. It kinda had that Psycho quality to it where you join with the villains in fear of them being discovered, only good movies can pull that off effectively and this movie did that. Don't take the title too literally, this doesn't involve vampires but it based on one of the centeral figures in the vampire legend.

Disturbing Behavior - D+

Steve, a generic brooding James Dean type played by soon-to-be Cyclops James Marsden, his sister played by soon-to-be werewolf Katherine Isabelle and their family move to Cradle Bay in either New England or the Pacific Northwest, lots of clouds and seaside styled homes. There he meets Gavin, played by soon-to-be super carnie Ben Hawkins, Nich Stahl who gives him the run down of the school cliques including the Blue Ribbon Club, ultra white bread preppies. But these aren't just your ordinary holier than thou preppies these are Clockwork Orange preppies who are made by the evil doctor played by Bruce Greenwood. The only person who knows this secret is the school janitor played by genre star Bill Sadler. It is up to Steve and his new love interested played by the soon-to-be Mrs Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, to defeat these evil people and make the world safe for slackers and societies rejects. All the acting talent in the movie was ruined by an uneven script that was wrought with plot holes that were so big you often lost the entire movie in them. The movie was directed by a guy who directed many X-Files episodes knowing that the movie makes a lot more sense. It builds up a good conspiracy but like X-Files it totally fails in making anything of the conspiracy. I think there was some kind of message in the movie that was supposed to be like the message in a Clockwork Orange, stole just about everything else from that movie why not the message, but the movie was handled so clumsily that I didn't catch it. A movie that never really got off the ground which is really sad seeing all the acting talent it had to offer.

Bunshinsaba - A

When I saw that this movie was made by a company with the name of Toilet Pictures I started to have second thoughts about watching this movie, Toilet Pictures? Doesn't sound like a real company to me. Three girls are bullied by a couple of classmates and decide to put a curse on them. They find an old ouija board and begin the ritual. The next day, one of the bullies is found dead and the three girls start suspecting that they're responsible. As the girls in their class start committing suicide one by one by putting a plastic bag over their head and setting it on fire, the three girls start regretting what they've done. But what two of the three girls don't know is that one of them has been possessed by an evil spirit. This movie has a couple of real good twists and turns and an equally interesting ending. Yes this is a vengeance ghost story like Ringu, Ju-On, and One Missed Called and apparently that is enough for some people to write it off and say it is bad which makes no bloody sense because the movie is actually good, isn't it like all the slasher movies or post modern slasher movies over even the slew of Satanic movies from the 70s we didn't write them off as just fill-in the blank movies. I have a sneaking suspicion the dislike for these movies is that they are not from America, we didn't start the this latest cycle of horror and there is a little jealousy, especially from the people that shoot their mouths off on the Internet. I liked this movie, it had a different ending but a strange happy ending. Good Korean Flick and worth watching especially if you like movies like Ringu, Ju-On, and the like.

Jack Frost - B

Sheriff Sam captures the wicked serial killer Jack Frost but while he is being transfered to be executed on a dark and snowy night but there is an accident with a chemical truck that is carrying genetic goo. This turns Jack into a snowman much like it turned Peter Parker into Spider-Man except Jack is still a completely psycho madman, who looks a lot like Bruce Campbell's evil twin. So now as walking, talking, killing snowman Jack returns to Snomonton to exact his revenge on Sheriff Sam and all the other good people of the town with icicles of death and other impliments of winter fun. This is a very campy movie with some really good laughs like when they find the first body a frozen guy in a rocking chair that is rocking back and forth and Sheriff Sam tells one of his deputies to take his foot off the chair. The movie doesn't take it self too seriously which is really good when your killer is a giant killer genetic mutant snowman. Look for Shannon Elizabeth in one of the pre-American Pie roles where she plays the local teen hottie who gets bear hugged to death by the snowman. The death of Jack Frost is rather funny and creative which follows the logic of the rest of the film. It won't win any awards, probably the one thing it will get is a lot of ruefull hate on IMDb but as slashers go it is funny at times and pretty good at times as well. How many killer snowmen do you see? You've seen a dozen Michael Myers clones but no killer snowmen or in the words of Jack Frost, The World's Most Pissed Off Snow Cone.

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman - D-

Jack Frost the serial killing snowman is back in a much more absurd movie, this time the snowman is on a tropical island. This movie lacked the wit and cleverness of the first movie. The writing felt disjointed, each killing seemed totally independent of anything else in the movie. It goes from more absurd to beyond absurd into stupid. The direction was good but the writing is so utterly uneven it makes watching it at times beyond hard but there are a few funny moments that keep it from beyond terrible but I had just high hopes. I liked the first one, I am willing to admit to that sin, but this one wasn't clever, it was just stupid. Don't even get me started on the little snowballs Jack turns into in the 3rd act. Not worth it, stay away.

Seven Women For Satan - C-

Count Zaroff is a man with lots of money and a simple pleasure, he likes to hunt down naked girls for sport like other rich men like to hunt foxes. This movie was so extreme in its violence and sex that it was banned by the French when it orignally came out. The French never ban anything so I was waiting for something truly sick and twisted. I wasn't totally sure what I saw, it was part The Most Dangerous Game and part ghost story. Howard Vernon, a Euro-Horror Staple plays the butler who I thought was controlling the ghosts to get his revenge on Count Zaroff but then you find out he is fighting against her to make the Count evil. There is a large amount of nudity, almost to a ridiculous end. The movie felt like The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave but without a twist ending. Ghoulish and clever at times but the story confused me and detracted from the craziness and nudity.

Hell Asylum - C+

Five girls are locked up in a freaky old building with a haunted history and have to compete in challenges as they take part in a reality TV show in order to win 1 million dollars. It is the standard Reality-TV Horror movie much like the truly wretched My Little Eye. I liked this one a lot more than My Little Eye but I have yet to find a Reality TV based horror movie that I really like. This one basically was mapped out in the first five minutes with each of the actresses telling their fears. It turns into a very by the numbers people go off alone and get killed kind of movie which isn't always a bad thing. I went into this movie expecting crap on a stick but I found that I didn't mind it all that much. You don't expect much and aren't given much but it was enough to entertain for an evening.

The Ring - A-

While this movie is a little disjointed and has a couple of holes in it, compared to the other suspense movies made in recent years it towers above them all like Godzilla towering over a non radioactive lizard. It is a very cool premise with some real great scares. The only thing I wish they had done was make some use of the two teenage girls, alone in their suburban home, in school uniforms, if you know what I mean. The movie still has a very Japanese feel to it, especially when they are in the city. This movie succeeds where most movies of this class fail, it follows through it comes to an end or three ends. Unlike Mulholland Drive or Lost Highway that have very weird and intriguing premises they never really wrap up, they just kinda end, but the Ring manages to end. While this movie has a kid in it, which we all know I don't like kids in movies, they are really useless, but the kid is not a real major part of the movie. They could have a couple more things with regard to the story, but I am just being picky. This is a must see for suspense fans.

Ringu - A

First there was a book called Ringu, written in the early 80s or the late 70s I think. It gave the Japanese a interesting idea, a video tape that kills. It takes the idea of the snuff film a step further by involving the viewer in the deadly act. For years they wanted to make this into a movie, it was a great idea, but (there is always one of these), there are two scenes that couldn't be made with 80s movie technology. One was the infamous video, and the other was when the girl crawls from the TV (if you have seen if you know what I mean). Originally it was going to be made like Perfect Blue, into an anime because it could be done. But then comes computer effects and Ringu can be made with people, thus giving it more of a market overseas. This version I belief is a little better than the American version, while it doesn't have the special effect budget of the American version, I like the story a little better, it is a little more clear and explains more of the back story. The American version is almost a shot for shot remake. This is followed by a sequal Ringu 2 and a prequel Ringu Gaiden. I recommend this version over the American, but there is a tie between Naomi Watts and Nanako Matsushima for who is better looking.

Night Owl - F

A baffling mix of Christian and Jewish Mythology that turns into a compete and utter waste of an hour and a half. Four college girls go to a cabin that is on a nasty looking lake for Spring Break. Fortunately the house is filled with religious artifacts and the shy girl, Lily finds stuff about Lilith. Lilith is from the Jewish Cabalistic tradition which says she was the first wife of Adam although it never actually appears anywhere in the Bible. Well our girl Lily, gee can you see where this is going? I did, becomes possessed by Lilith who apparently acts like a Succubus seducing the Okie Yokel caretaker and killing her friends. The biggest flop of the movie is when Lily turns into the vampy ultra slut nobody really seems to notice. Maybe it is just me but when your half-sister changes from a shy virgin who doesn't like apples, to a vamp bitch who likes sex and apples I think I would notice. I was never sure if this was meant to be some sort of hoky religious horror movie or just a stupid attempt to use a bibical figure in a horror movie. The mega-cheap budget hurt the film a lot, the moronic plot and ridiculous foreshadowing made me groan in pain. Don't ask me where the title comes from, other than a few inserted shots on an Owl there is no real point to calling the Night Owl. Painful waste of time, stay well away.

Panic Beats - C+

Paul has problems with the women in his life constantly giving him grief, his wife is terminally ill with heart troubles, his secretary who is also his mistress wants him to leave his wife, his housekeeper is an old bitch, and now he has a new girl in his sight. This guy really needs to take a cold shower once and awhile. But then he learns of the old family curse which can pull him out of this mess. The spirit of a deceased knight returns every 100 years to clean a house by graphicly murdering the women who are making the life of his descendants unbearable. Gee don't think this movie is going to be high on many feminist viewing lists. This movie is written, directed and star Paul Naschy, the venerable Spanish Horror super star. Unfortunately Paul Naschy is a super star writer or director. The last third of the movie is very good but the proceeding 2/3s is pretty dull.

Nightmare Sisters - B-

Linnea Quigely, Michelle Bauer, and Brinke Stevens star in a tale of a succubus who possesses a fortune teller's crystal ball. The succubus takes control of the three girls turning them from losers to man hungry minxes. This movie is very silly, in the second half of the movie the three stars spend most of that time naked. The movie was made by David DeCoteau who the next year would go on to make Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl-O-Rama, this movie really feels like a rough draft of that movie, lots of goofy sex related exploits, Linnea Quigely and company. I didn't like it as much as the afore mentioned Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl-O-Rama, it is a little rough before the girls turn into sex vixens. After it turns rather silly, more of a comedy but people are eaten by succubi so it is a horror movie but it feels like a comedy. It reminded me a lot of one of those bizarre zero-budget films of the 70s from guys like Hershal Gordon Lewis or Ray Dennis Steckler but with a certain higher budget and more professional post production.

American Nightmare - C+

7 college friends call into an underground radio show and tell the DJ their worst fears on Halloween night. Of course a psycho over hears this and decides to kill them off one by one using their greatest fears as weapons. Talk about a prepared psycho killer. But there is a twist, this psycho is a chick, Scream Queen Debbie Rochon, who does one hell of a job in this movie. She stalks these 7 rather cheap Friends knock-offs and kill them one by one leaving only two, the girl whose sister was killed last year by the psycho and the guy who wants to be her boyfriend. The movie has a couple of really good scenes, the burying alive scene was genuinely creepy and made me uncomfortable, not scared but made the skin crawl. Unfortunately there is very little blood, and if not for the pointless shower scene could have easily been a PG-13 film. Another problem is the movie is slow, and it drags. After I was done watching it I swore the movie had to be at least two hours if not two and a half hours long but it was just 99 minutes. Debbie Rochon does a great deal for this movie, she alone made it enjoyable, she can play one truly twisted psycho but she isn't the star, the star is a pretty losy actress who has the most hilarious crying scene in cinema history, sad to say it was supposed to be a really serious emotional moment. Interesting concept that went wrong somewhere along the line, too bad it was a clever concept.

Psycho Scarecrow - F

I really have bad luck with killer scarecrow movies, every time I watch one and it turns out to suck hard I swear no more scarecrow movies but do I listen? No. This has to be the worst of the lot so-far. A group of friends go off into the woods, the group asshole beats the group funny man up and he falls down a hill which leads to his death. This of course leads to the whole we have to hide him so the cops don't blame me plot line. Of course our dead funny man is put into the scarecrow's costume and guess what comes back to life through the mysterious powers of electricity and starts killing those who wronged him. If only the movie could have been as short as my plot synposis I may have not loathed this movie so much. There is nothing right with this movie the entire thing is wretched from the plot, the acting, the music, the shot on video quality, the lack of microphones, to the craft services, yes I know a movie this bad had bad catering. The plot, acting, and terrible video quality can all be explained away by the fact that the entire movie cost 2.95 to make but the music used in the movie is consistent, consistently out of place. For instance when they are introducing the two cops who are investigating the 'suicide'? of the last girl the music that plays in the background sounds like it belongs in a bad 80s strip club. We aren't going to get into the mullets or the fact that the entire movie looks like it was made in the late 80s instead of 2000. Another subpar movie from Sub Rosa films, I really need to stop watching the stuff they put out, I am always disappointed.

The Pool - C+

Students at the Prague International School decide for one last big party before they graduate so they break into a giant pool, hence the title, and party so a masked killer in a wet suit, very original choice, can kill them. This is a very straight forward slasher it doesn't bring anything new to the table but it does a good job of playing within the boundaries of slasher movies. The cast are mainly Germans but they are speaking in English so the entire movie sounds a bit like a Schwarzenegger Family Renunion. Surprisingly the film makers went with no nudity when half of the movie takes place at a pool with partying teens. The killer looked cool, the skull mask and the wet suit made him look streamline and menacing. One of the problems I had with this movie was the vagueness of it all, I still have no idea if this is college or high school or some strange limbo reality. They did a bad job of letting us know how old they were supposed to be, they all look to be in the late twenties which is fairly standard for a movie of this sort so logically it is more likely for it to be college but then it is an International School which are high schools so I am left scratching my head. All in all this was a good if not generic slasher movie, if you like slasher movies there is little you will find wrong with it.