Horror Part 13

Dead and Breakfast - A

A group of friends are going to a wedding but when they realize that they're completely lost they have to spend the night at a small bed and breakfast in a small village called Lovelock. When one of the friends gets up in the middle of the night to get something to eat he's in for a surprise. The two b&b owners have died, one of a heart attack and the other of a knife in his throat which leads to a hilarious scene involving slipping on blood as he freaks out. Since the sheriff wants the kids to stick around for a while they will miss the wedding, and as if that wasn't depressing enough, it seems as if the locals are turning into vicious killer zombies. I had my reservations when I saw the box and it said the 'American Answer To Shaun of the Dead', statments like that almost ensure the movie is going to suck. But I was completely wrong, this was a fantastic movie. It is silly and there is gore a plenty but what really made the movie for me was the rockabilly ballads that tied the scenes together. The rockabilly songs too are really catchy, my favorite is probably the end were the guy tells the entire movie in song. I loved David Carradine's little role in the movie, can we say Kung-Fu: The Legendary Journies but it surprised me when he winds up dead. True if he lived the movie wouldn't have any of the suspense. This was a great movie that really hit me out of the blue, I hadn't heard anything about it, which actually makes sense the movies I hear a lot about always suck but the ones nobody talks about are always good.

Dead Men Walking - C+

After gunning down a house full of people a man is taken to a maximum security prison to serve his life sentence but the man is carrying a deadly secret, he has been infected by the zombies he gunned down. Now he starts to infect everybody in the prison through the rather gory method of vomiting blood over everybody in sight. A scientist with the CDC and a rather colourful prisoner now have to survive along with some rather trigger happy guards in a prison that is totally overrun by zombies in a matter of minutes. What follows is fairly standard subtraction of characters to the zombie horde. What makes this a little better than other cut and paste zombie movies is the amount of splatter each killing entails. Aside from the spraying gore the rest of the movie is very made for Sci-Fi movie, it is enjoyable but there isn't much to it.

Eat the Schoolgirl - C-

Two young guys in their twenties are doing odd jobs for a sleazy yakuza gang. One of them is a nerdish sex fiend. The other is addicted to telephone sex. He now has visions of an angel-like creature that tells him to go out and kill. This one is really, really weird. It is also grotesque like Guinea Pig or other Japanese splatter movies that are disturbingly real. This is an all around nasty movie that really got its C- from the fact that it is real and very disturbing. The main character dressed as the schoolgirl is almost comical but keeps this movie squarely in the world of really weird. This is another movie made by the man who made the infamous zombie schoolgirl opus, Stacey: Attack of the Zombie Schoolgirls. While that was satirical and gory this was just plain gory streaked with deviant sex. This movie is really only for the Guinea Pig, All Night Long set not the casual movie viewer.

Evil Come Evil Go - B

Sister Sarah Jane is a hymn-humming, man hating, cross country serial killer called the Preacherwoman who is out to kill all the evil men anywhere she finds them. Her mission as she says it is to rid the world of pleasurable sex, God is love not sex. She enlists a another disenfranchised women (ie fat) to join her crusade. Together they hack and slash to their hearts content. This is one of those movies that you say, okay this can't get any stranger, six or seven times over the course of the movie. From the accordian playing to the John Holmes (the infamous 70s pornstar) to the crazy religous rantings, this is a movie that is extremely bizarre. Several times I thought back to the works of Ray Dennis Steckler when looking for a compairable film. This is a interesting movie, not a good movie mind you but it is so thoroughly strange and had enough odd humor that I enjoyed it

Terror At Orgy Castle - C

A young swinging couple decide to spend some time at a creepy old castle that is run by Countess Dominova and her deformed manservant. They decide to stay despite being creeped out by the place. They soon learn that black masses are held with the castle and they are the main course. The movie has all the trappings of the black mass including fornication with a guy wearing a ram's head. The guy's narration are pretty dead pan, I doubt they were done by the same guy. This is another film from Zoltan G Spencer one of the pioneers of softcore movies. Like his other movies there is very little in way of plot or acting ability but there is a retro kind of cool to it, maybe it is just goofy enough to be enjoyable. It also has a rather cool title, very catchy and you know what you are getting with a title like that.

All The Things You Love Will Be Carried Away - D

To start this off, I do not like Stephen King, none of this work has ever impressed me all that much. That being said you are now probably wondering why I would watch a short film based on a Stephen King story? Well the answer is that is starred my favorite movie critic, Joe Bob Briggs. Joe Bob stars as Alfie Zimmer, a traveling salesman who sells Frozen Food in the great midwest. He is planning on killing himself, the only thing that is keeping him from doing it is his collection of bathroom grafitti he has collected over the last seven years. My god only Stephen King could make a short movie feel this long. Joe Bob Briggs does a good job with this overly pretenious material. That is one of my problems with Stephen King it always feels so pretenious that reading his work is almost an ordeal rather than a way to pass the time. I really wanted to like this, Joe Bob has such a distinct way of speaking and he makes the makes the pompus dialogue stomachable but for being only 25 minutes it feels like an eternity. This is Stephen King at his worst, I should have given this an F but I simply can't do that to Joe Bob in all good conscience, he does do a good job with this crap but sadly it is still crap.

Boo - B-

Jessie and her friends decide to spend Halloween in the Santa Mira Asylum where one of their friends has rigged the old place with tricks and gags. But this is a creepy old asylum and it is Halloween so of course there are evil ghosts, one a former patient, the other a nurse. It is up to the good blonde girl, and a cop who once was a groovy blacksploitation star named Dynamite Jones. This movie adds something knew to the whole haunted asylum story type, when you are possessed by a ghost you can be shot and you'll explode spraying gooey bits all over the place. The story had some good scares, the final confrontation was a little uneven though. We have to make a ghost afraid of living was rather strange way of defeating the asylum ghosts. There were a couple of other shakey plot points involving Kevin the big dumb boyfriend that rather annoyed me. When it was scaring you with the ghosts it was a good movie but when they were trying to do some character development it turned into a rather sub-par movie. In the end the scares barely squeaked past the acting to allow me to enjoy the movie. Not the best haunted asylum movie, it took too many cues from House on Haunted Hill but it was just unique enough to

Venom - B

There is a car accident on a rickety old bridge where a voodoo priestess' car goes over the side. Ray the local greasy tow-truck driver goes in to save the old lady and the suitcase she seems very worried about. Well he saves the old lady but the car goes over the side before he can get the suitcase out. The suitcase however does open up revealing dozens of pisssed off snakes which leads to one of the more creepy moments in the film as a bunch of CG snakes attack Ray. Ray dies and though he died a hero the town's resident cast of good looking twenty-somethings still like he was a sleaze. Well those weren't just any snakes, those were mighty evil voodoo snakes which turn Ray into the ultimate undead killing machine and he is gunning for Eden and her troupe of good looking although vapid friends. They run to their voodoo friends house which is protected from Undead Ray. Now they just have to figure out a way to put Ray back in the ground before they are all dead. Aside from the characters which were incredibly cookie-cutter in nature this wasn't a bad movie. It was plenty gory and had an original story for a slasher movie. But it was the characters that really took away from this movie. When you meet them you already know what is going to happen to them, Eden the good girl who is going to medical school survives because she is blonde, white, a female, going to college, and full of really deep emotions. The other characters are just cut from other really dopey Laguna Beach stereotypes. I do feel sorry for voodoo though, there hasn't been a movie that I have seen ever to give it a fair shake, voodoo is never a good thing in a movie. Witchcraft which use to get this kind if treatment is getting a better image thanks to all the complaining the fat wiccans have been doing over the last twenty five years. This was a good story that should have had better characters and it would have been stellar.

Tamara - D

Tamara, the geeky overachieve is hated and cruelly teased by all the pretty students, and even worse she had benched the star football player because she wrote an expose on high school atheletes using steroids. So they decide to play a nasty little prank on her and like all Carrie cut outs it goes horribly wrong. We've already established that everybody in this movie more than deserves everything they get. Tamara comes back, all hot and sultry, to exact her revenge on those who were so awful to her. If you watch this movie and say to yourself, gee where have I seen this before, you are going to be with me. This movie was a bad rip-off of Carrie, and I Know What You Did Last Summer with every rotten cliche imaginable. The biggest problem I had is that they try so hard to make every other character a total sleaze that I found myself grinding my teeth watching it. The real success of this is to make at least a couple of them not so vile that you can side with them because when Tamara comes back from the dead, she is plain old fashion evil and the movie wants you to side with her which really defeats the purpose of a horror movie. The writing was very poor, the characters were the most cliched thing about the entire movie. You have to come up with something original if you are going to make a supernatural high school revenge movie you are going to be looked upon in relation to Carrie and unless you do something different then you are just going to be another copy like this film.

Maniac Cop - B+

Somebody dressed as a cop is wasting the good citizens of New York City and it is up to burned out Detective McCrae to find the killer. He thinks the killer is a cop. Officer Jack Forrest, played by Bruce Campbell, is having an affair and then his angry wife is found dead. Yep they blame Ash... I mean Bruce... I mean Jack. It is upto Detective McCrae, and Jack's girlfriend Theresa to uncover the real killer. They find out the killer is a decorated cop that was sent to Sing-Sing for violating criminals rights, that is really the only reason cops are sent to prison in movies. He was brutually attacked in the shower and reduced to a sticky paste. Now he is back, crazy, and out for revenge. This is a pretty good movie, a little too much cop movie, not enough horror movie but it was pretty good nonetheless. Look for director Sam Raimi as a TV reporter. He also did some additional second unit photography. Robert Z'Dar know as the Face, really made a name for himself in this role, not saying much and basically killing everyone in sight. Decent horror movie from the twilight days of the 80s when quality horror movies were few and far between.

Predator Island - D-

Three couples out for a day of sailing witness a meteor fall from the sky. Shortly thereafter a storm kicks up and all the power goes out, gee could it have something to do with the mysterious meteor? They end up crashing on a tiny little island that has a lighthouse and a gruff lighthouse keeper. They wait the storm out at the lighthouse keeper's house and when the storm lets up they find out a killer alien is loose on the island. This alien has the ability to possesse people like the alien in John Carpenter's The Thing. Now they have to get off the island which means a lot of running, getting lost, fighting, and cast subtraction. This is a bad alien movie, it has a bad alien, poor guy in a rubber suit that when hit the entire suit jiggles. There is about five minutes of real tension, after we first see the alien it turns into boredom, but for those five minutes it isn't all that bad. The scariest thing in the movie isn't the monster, it one of the cast members showing off his hairy chest and nipple rings that is wrong on so many levels. An amateur film that really sucked.

HP Lovecraft's From Beyond - A-

Dr. Pretorius and his colleague Dr Crawfrod Tillinghast, played the great Jeffrey Combs, are working on a new experiment: stimulation of the pineal gland as a way to activate a person's sixth sense and unlock higher dimensions. When the experiment succeeds they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms, which apparently are floating around us all the time. When Dr. Pretorius is killed by one of them, Dr. Tillinghast is arrested and thrown into the psycho ward due to his stories. Only the ambitious psychologist Dr. Katherine McMichaels, Stuart Gordon's other star Barbara Crampton, believes him and wants to continue the experiment. They enlist a private security officer and return to the house. This isn't as good as Re-Animator but it still an excellent horror movie. There is plenty of gooey monsters and bondage equipment to make this fun movie. When you combine Stu Gordon, Jeffrey Combs, and Barbara Crampton you are bound to end up with a lot of gooey fun. While it doesn't have the strange sense of humor Re-Animator had it is still a great horror movie.

Bloody Beach - A

An online chat group decides to take a real-life vacation together and head to the beach for some fun in the sun. But their leisurely beach vacation turns into a horrifying nightmare when a killer, whom they only know by the Internet moniker "Sandman" begins stalking the members of the club picking them off in true slasher fashion, one at a time. What Scream did to make cell phones scary Bloody Beach does to make chat rooms scary. I personally think chat rooms are much scarier, you have absolutely no idea who you are talking to in one of those and the majority of people in the Internet aren't exactly the most well rounded humans ever put on this earth. The premise of a member of the chat club going nuts and killing the other is actually more realistic than 99 percent of the other slasher movies out there. I did like the twists and turns the movie hit you with, I was expecting a much more straight forward slasher but this one hit you good at a couple of key scenes. It also didn't skimp on the gore, there is a scene that involves and axe that really made me squirm, but squirming is good. This was a really good Korean slasher movie, don't go into it expecting girls with long black hair and strange curses from beyond the grave, go in expecting a slasher and you will not be disappointed.

Undead - A

When an intense meteor shower covers the countryside, it spreads an incurable infection among the people of a peaceful fishing town, transforming them into flesh-eating zombies. Running for her life, a local girl named Rene, who was named Ms Catch of the Day, finds refuge in an isolated farmhouse, where she meets four others who survived the disaster, a pilot, his pregnant girlfriend, and two cops. Together, they fend off the walking dead and learn the truth about those they're fighting while of course fighting each other. This movie has lots and lots of really black humor in the vein of Shaun of the Dead, one of the funniest parts is when an old lady is crossing the street and gets hit by one of the meteors and the two good old Aussies just keep on talking about their fishing trip. This movie has a very different source to the plague and it involves space aliens but unlike X-Files this alien story actually has a good outcome. This is a perfect combination of black humor and honest scares. I really loved this movie I knew precisely what I was in for and I loved everything it threw at me. This is cheesy at times, very Mars Attacks but at other times it is Dawn of the Dead. Now normally this wouldn't work one would out weigh the other but it all fell right into place and I liked it. If you like zombie movies and especially if you liked Shaun of the Dead this movie is for you.

Corpses - B+

A struggling mortican accidentally finds a way to bring the dead back to life. He decides to use them for ferious purposes to keep his ex-wife and her new boyfriend from tearing down his funeral home. He gets them to go out and steal for him, at the same time his assistant and his girlfriend, played fabulously by Tiffany Shepis, are investigating the mysterious goings-on at the funeral home, while the town sheriff, and current boyfriend of the mortican's ex-wife and father to Tiffany Shepis' character is investigating the sudden crime wave that has hit their small town. This a is wonderful tongue in cheek movie in the same vein as Re-Animator, complete with neon green-yellow ooze that brings them back. This movie has a lot of tongue in cheek with some incredibly snappy lines, most provided by Tiffany Shepis who plays her role perfectly. There is a great scene involving her clothes being ripped off by two zombies and then she askes was that necessary, the two zombies look at each other and nod. The movie was a lot better than I was expecting it to be, hey it says staring Jeff Fahey.

Forest of the Damned - A-

There is a myth that in the heart of Miranda Forest there dwell beautiful nymph creatures that were once angels. Thrown out of heaven after they became infected with human emotions of lust and sexual desire they now roam the forest, luring in unsuspecting victims with their beauty before seducing them and then gruesomely killing them. Now six teenagers are going to discover that there is more to this story than just myth. This was a pretty good movie, had a few flaws here and there, my biggest problem was that the forest nymphs weren't really the main villain for most of the movie, it was Tom Savini, who plays the crazy woodsman. The movie had some really good scares, those nymphs are nothing but trouble and like to appear when you are least ready for it. I liked the idea of using nymphs as the killer monster but they didn't use them nearly enough, I wanted a lot more Nymph a lot less Tom Savini, but he did do a good job playing a crazy hillbilly. Despite the little annoyance this was a good movie that I enjoyed.

Santo vs the Vampire Women - B

A professor recruits a professional wrestler, cult icon Santo the Silver Masked Wrestler, to protect his daughter from a coven of female vampires intent on kidnaping her and marrying her to the devil. Now most people will not like these movies, they were campy movies in there day and have only gotten campier. The idea of a masked luchadore fighting evil is either very funny to you or it is incredibly stupid. To me it is very funny, campy silly fun. I like the concept of a luchadore as monster hunter, it is like Hulk Hogan and Dr Van Helsing were combined in a Mexican alchemy lab to create Santo. The movie has lots of wrestling, Santo being a luchadore and all, and lots of vampire fighting which also works. This is a odd movie that was very enjoyable because it embraced itself and went wholeheartly into the idea of masked wrestlers fighting vampire women.

Venus in Furs - A

Jesus Franco's masterpiece, a jazzy erotic surreal nightmare like a 60s version of a David Lynch film only that is makes sense. Jimmy is a Jazz Trumpeter who finds a dead girl washed ashore on the beach. The trauma of finding such a pretty girl so very dead ruins his musical ability. So he and his girlfriend, Rita, flee to Rio during Carnivale. There he encounters the woman again, but this time she is very much alive. He can't make sense of it but is drawn to her, much like a moth is drawn to a flame. He follows her deeper and deeper into madness. This is really an amazing, and surreal movie, the last twenty minutes are almost unexplainable. This is a really great ghost story with Klaus Kinski acting odd as ever. Jesus Franco showed real skill here, yes there is nudity but it never feels sleazy. The Jazz music is really top notch, it really gives the film as smooth feeling to it. The acting is good, especially James Darren who really does a great job of slowly descending into hell. This is so atypical of what I was expecting, I rented this because it was a Jesus Franco film, cheap thrills and naked women but rather was treated to a very interesting and clever horror movie about vengenece from beyond the grave. Check it out, even if you have seen other Franco films before and didn't like them, this one is a lot different, it is classy.

The Fog (2005) - D

This is a remake of John Carpenter's 1980 film of the same title which concerns a sleepy Northern California town that has a dark secret that is embodied by a group of undead lepers who come back to take their revenge upon the town under the cover of the fog. This is a movie that had potential but everything they did felt like a misstep, they had interesting idea but everything they attempted fail miserably. They took the simplicity of the original Fog and muddled it up with a whole bunch of poorly thought through subplots which makes all the principle characters involved with each other and each of them is a direct descendant of the original founders of Antonio Bay. The addition of the crappy Ring-style subplot was just ridiculous. This is my biggest gripe about the state of American Horror, we just take any old horror movie that is popular and we remake it with a bunch of fresh 20ish actors from hit TV shows. I am a huge fan of the original movie, it was a masterpiece of subtle growing fear with a musical score which I think was John Carpenter's best. This movie isn't about subtly it is more about hitting you over the head with their scares that aren't good or even tie together. The acting is really bad, except Selma Blair who was one of the two things I actually liked about this movie, the other being Maggie Grace's coat which was very unique. Selma Blair did a great job but everybody else can't string two words together, they lack any emotion at all, it is like watching mannequins act. The biggest criminal of this is Maggie Grace, somebody should have warned the director that just because the show, Lost, was a hit doesn't mean she can act at all. Watching her in the movie was like somebody was scraping their nails across the blackboard. The bad part of that, she is most of the movie. Selma Blair was the only person would could hold her own in the movie, and even can be compared to Adrienne Barbeau who played Stevie Wayne in a positive light. But because she was the most able actress they hacked her part to pieces, in the original movie she played a much more active role but in this one she is reduced to a love triangle that doesn't work and to a handful of scenes that like the rest of the movie just don't work. I won't even go into the ending, the utter stupidity of the end had me all but writhing in pain, I mean do they actually read this stuff before they make it? I wasn't expecting much from this movie, I had heard a lot of really negative comments about this movie and I can say that they are all right, this movie really is piece of junk. Another shining example of worthless PG-13 horror.

Severed - C-

Loggers are turned into ravaging zombies when they are exposed to infected tree sap, yes the Lorax is now fighting dirty, deep in the forest of Washington and it up to a band of enviromentalist and loggers to survive. Okay I know what your thinking, Loggers meeting zombies, a lot of chainsaws are going to be use to rip these zombies a new one. Well don't your hopes up, there is not much zombie killing of any sort, there is a lot of running, a lot of screaming at each other, and a lot of social commentary. Yes the corporation is evil, and it is them that infected the trees that makes the zombie sap. Of course one of the members of the surviving team is one of those horrid scientists. The enviromentalist are seen as brave fighters for right, and the white collar corporate types all in their black suits and white shirts are strictly evil, the only reason why the president of the corporation doesn't allow them to kill everybody only because his son is in the danger zone, the loggers are seen as half and half, they are uneducated but faintly noble guys who are trapped in the middle. There was one gun in the entire movie, one gun in an entire zombie movie and it doesn't appear until 50 minutes into the film. The first half of the film is more like Ewoks fighting zombies. I mean there is one axe in the movie too, what kind of loggers are these guy? How do they cut down trees with out any chainsaws or axes. When they actually managed to kill a zombie it had some pretty good gore and the scene that made this movie a little more stomachable but still this wasn't a good zombie movie, there was more fighting among the humans than among the zombies. Not the best zombie movie but one of the few genuinely serious zombies made in the last five years and it had a good idea behind it but it really doesn't work out.

Dawn of the Mummy - C

A group of tomb raiders disturb and ancient Egyptian's eternal slumber, of course this was the evilest of all ancient Egyptians and he doesn't take kindly to guys robbing his tomb. So he and his army of zombies arise from the grave to attack the tomb raiders and a group of fashion models out in the desert for a photo shoot. It is fairly slow for the first thirty minutes or so but finally when the mummy and his zombie pals wake up it turns into a pretty good zombie movie with plenty of acid burning people in gruesome ways and plenty of zombie guts eating and mummy stranglings. We even have quicksand, the only thing this movie is missing is either scorpions or scarabs. Not all that bad, not all that great but once the mummy starts picking the characters you can turn your brain off and enjoy the carnage. There is suprisingly very little nudity for a movie about models in the desert, even the bathing scene the women keep their underwear on. Good mindless fun movie with plenty of gut eating for all.

All Soul's Day - B-

100 years ago Vargaz Diaz, played by noted Latino Heavy, Danny Trejo, looted a fortune in Aztec treasure from an ancient burial before sealing the tomb with all the townspeople in it. Now the town is cursed and we fast forward to the present where a happy college couple are traveling back to meet her parents when they accidentally run into a funeral precession where the person in the coffin isn't dead. She gives them a terrifying message, the townspeople have cut her tongue out so she can't scream. Now they learn that there is something incredibly wrong with this town and now they have to survive, Dia De Los Muertos in the town that is overrun by zombies of the dead townsfolk. This was an exciting movie with some rather weak dialogue but once the movie gets going it moves fast enough to mask over the bad dialogue. Cheers to Jeffrey Combs who plays the 50s Dad but then again it is Jeffrey Combs and he is the soul reason why I watched it. David Keith, a regular in these style of movies and does a good job as the sheriff with a secret. The movie also has some good tension and scares along with a lot of shotgun and zombie action. This wasn't a classic but it was a fun movie to watch.

Switch Killer - D

After the woman he loves leaves him for another woman, a distraught young man undergoes a sex-change operation. Now a woman, the heartbroken maniac begins to murder his ex-lover's girlfriends in an attempt to win her back. Who knew watching strippers dance naked would be so boirng. This movie was very boring, plenty of naked women, plenty of lesbian overtones, but man this movie was long and dull. The jilted violent ex-boyfriend, turned woman, is like most transvestites, they always are very masculine men so it just looks like they have a wig on instead of being an actual woman. The movie lacks suspense, you know who lives, the main girl, and everybody eles you meet dies. Interesting premise but a failed execution.

Ghost of the Needle - C

A photographer lures women to his warehouse studio to inject them with a mysterious poison and then he takes photographs of their dead bodies. But after one victim fights back and he bangs his head he has a couple of strange visions and people start to suspect there is something up with the creepy loner who lives in a remote warehouse and takes strange pictures of women yet professes not to be good with women. This movie had a good premise and was pretty good for the first twenty minutes but slowly it crumbles as the movie goes on. There are logic issues, there really isn't much of the victim ghost haunting him like most plot synopsises claim. I would have liked it a lot more if they delivered more avenging ghost and less paranoia loner being paranoia. The movie dragged in too many parts inbetween the suspense. I would have liked it more if it was all about him and the ghost girl but it really had almost nothing to do with her. A movie with some suspenseful moments but they get lost in the long inbetweens of the movie.

Boardinghouse - D

A muddled and confusing tale about a guy named Jim who uses his telekenetic powers to kill the bimbos who are living in his house. It is a cheap movie that is written, directed, produced, make-up effects, composer, and staring Jim Wintergate. This guy made a movie so he could be around a bunch of topless bimbos. With that in mind this a very cheesy slasher movie with some incredibly hilarious parts that invovled Jimmy himself, when he is meditating the looks on his face are beyond funny, he looks like such a complete nutcase. Aside from the boobs, and the cheese this is a pretty crappy movie that most people will never see because I saw mine on an ancient VHS tape that was so old the night scenes turn into pure black confusion. This movie being such a world class oddball no DVD company would never dare put it out.

Death Tunnel - F

I wish I could bring myself to give this an F- or maybe even a G it was so incredibly terrible. There are few movies out there that have actually made me angry for watching them. Not angry at the world, angry at the grotesquely inept filmmakers but angry at myself for actually sitting through the movie and watching it. This is one of the few, proud, shitty movies. It is the tale of a real place, the Waverly Sanitarium which is in Louisville Kentucky. It is supposedly really haunted but not to the ridiculous degree the movie claims, so yes when they say the movie is based on a true story, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre there is a kernel of truth in the statement, in this case that kernel of truth is buried in nine feet of bullshit but if you are willing it is there. In the movie 5 girls are locked in the Sanitarium over night, 5 girls, 5 floors, 5 ghosts, yah-yah this is going to be a House on Haunted Hill knock-off that much is apparent. What makes this horrible movie even worse is that for a few moments here and there the movie is actually good, but the good is so vastly over shadowed by the truely terrible that it doesn't help at all. The biggest problem is the flow of the film which is non-existant, it takes places in the present, past, future, alternate realities, and all points inbetween which sometimes works when it is done competently but in this movie there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to any of the cuts, the movie starts off somewhere in the middle, jumps to an strange dream, then to the past, then jumps forward to a less distant past, and back and forth and round and round until you are completely lost which totallys ruins the movie. Okay if that wasn't enough the movie is filled with logic errors, stupid things that even a Hollywood hack would have done. First off the bitch blonde takes a shower in the middle a haunted sanitarium, yes it is just there for this former playmate to show her breasts, then the spooky evil force says 5 ghosts, but in the movie you see over twenty now this was made in Kentucky so I am not faulting them for not knowing their math, this is also called an initiation in the first part of the movie, but never actually say what they are being initiated into, then half way through these inept filmmakers realize they have screwed up and start calling the girls contestants but the best complete logic flaw is the girls are all wearing nightgowns, all except the main girl our heroine. Now don't try to think too much about why they are all wearing nightgowns, my guess is these filmmakers never got lucky and are acting out creepy geek fantasies with these rather good looking girls. The acting is miserable, these girls have all this attitude and they are going to strut it all over and it makes them look ridiculous. Now to the cliches, oh the cliches, you know the three bad girls when you meet them, they all wear black, two have black hair and the ring leader, the bitchy blonde, has dyed platinum blonde hair, she is also the bitchy blonde because she is rich and being rich always makes you bad. We know she is rich because she drives a mid-80s Ferrari. The two good girls are also blonde but they are more natural blonde and when we first meet them they aren't dress in black and acting all slutty. This is all made so much more painful because the sets look really good for a haunted asylum movie, all these filmmakers had to do was make a straight horror movie and it would have probably worked but instead they go all artistic on the movie and make it unwatchable. I saved my personal disgust for last, these are all things that annoyed me about the movie that really don't have anything to do with the movie for most people just for me. First off it is set at a medical college yet not one of the actors in the movie looks like they belong in junior college let alone medical school. The opening statement that 63,000 people died of the 'white plague' in that particular county of Kentucky in 1928. Okay that is just moronic if that may people died in Kentucky in 1928 that would probably have been 1/10 of the states entire population. Secondly there is no 'white plague' that is pure bullshit, you dimwit filmmakers shouldn't make up phoney diseases that basically are just knock-offs of real diseases, if you are going to bullshit puts some thought into it. This is without a doubt one of the worst movies I have ever seen, it made My Little Eye which for a long time was considered the worst horror movie I have ever seen actually not half bad. This movie has gotten rave reviews on the Internet which really puts another nail in the coffin of Internet Credibility. This comes from the fact that while inept filmmakers they do know the secret of promoting movies online, they get a bunch of their friends and crew to go onto all the movie boards and praise the hell out of this movie and nobody knows it is them because we can't see them face to face. This is what led me to watch this pile of shit in the first place. STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE, I don't care if you never listen to me again, but you must stay away from this movie at all costs, it is a crime against humanity, we should arrest the filmmakers of this movie and bring them to the Hague to stand trial for making this movie and trying to make people watch it.