Horror Part 11

Poltergeist - A

Steven Spielburg takes the average haunted house story and instead of putting it in a house out in the middle of nowhere like almost every other haunted house story takes place he puts it in someplace that we all can relate to, the suburbs. Craig T Nelson and his family move into an idealic Southern California suburban home that is plauged by a host of strange happenings until one night their youngest daughter is sucked into her closet and their son is almost eaten by a tree. They call in Zelda Rubenstein, a 4 four foot tall psychic who tells their daughter to head into the light. Together they take on the ghosts of the house and try to rescue their daughter. The script has all the hallmarks of a Steven Spielburg but has the technical touches of the director Tobe Hooper, who went from doing hardcore splatter horror like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It is certainly a switch. The movie is at the same time funny and scary, like when James Karen is in the house and the furniture is rearranging itself. But my favorite scene in the ending with the swimming pool, that definitely still creeps me out to this day. This is a classic haunted house movie.

Miner's Massacre - D+

Three greedy couples go out into the desert to hunt for gold, of course it is cursed gold that our heroine's brother accidentally found which brought the undead Forty-Niner back from the grave to seek his vengence on all those who want his gold. The couples on the run encounter several big name B-Movie actors, Richard Lynch, John Phillip Law, Karen Black, and Jeff Conway. Really they are the best things in this movie, their professionalism and talent even with the worst of dialogue. The rest of this movie is pretty bad, the dusty old miner looks more like a scruffy old hobo. If it wasn't for the cavalcade of B-Movie stars this movie would have royally sucked. Instead it only sucked a little bit.

Bloodsucker Leads the Dance - C-

A female acting troupe travels to his castle on an island. They spend their time getting naked and having sex in true exploitation fashion as one by one they get their head chopped off. Despite a few plot holes, unresolved subplots, and some of the worst intentional dubing I have ever heard this movie still manages to scrap together enough campy sleazy fun to make it an enjoyable 90 minutes worth of movie. You have to shut your brain off and the first half an hour really needed a murder or something but it is not as bad as other movies I have seen, it knew its place and sometimes that is all you really need.

Mardi Gras Massacre - C+

A homage to Hershell Gordon Lewis in a film of a guy in a suit who goes from sleazy stripclub to sleazy stripclub picking up the most 'evil' prostitute and bring them back to his swinging bachelor's apartment so he can sacrifice them on to h his strange god. It is upto a homicide sergeant and a hooker with a heart of gold to stop the killer. Of course this leads to the hooker with the heart of gold going into the sleaziest of sleazy dens to find the killer. This isn't exactly the greatest movie, but if you are a fan of Hershell Gordon Lewis's gore and bad acting this is pretty much up your alley.

Masters of Horror 01: 
Incident On and Off A Mountain Road- C+

I originally wasn't going to put these into my movie reviews for the simple reason that they aren't exactly movies but after watching them the only thing that doesn't make them movies is that they are only an hour in length in every other way, these are very well made professional horror movies with good budgets and no holds barred. The first comes from the Don Coscarelli the man who brought you the Phantasm series as well as the comedic mummy tale, Bubba Ho-Tep. He weaves a tale of the ex-wife of a crazied survivalist, played by Ethan Embry who does a good job of playing one taco short of a fiesta plate. She is driving on the titular mountain road when she hits another car. Upon recovering from the crash she realizes the car is empty and its occupant is being carried off by a tall monsterous man. She tries to escape using the skills her abusive ex-husband taught her but eventually she is captured and taken to the shack of horrors where we meet Angus Schrimm, best known as the Tall Man from the Phantasm movies. He does the best job of anybody in the film playing a completely crazy old coot who is forced to live in Moon Face's shack of hell. Now our heroine has to use all her survivalist skills to avoid getting her eyes plucked out by a power drill in a wonderfully disgusting scene and survive. This was a pretty good opener to the Masters of Horror series. I think the flashbacks took away from the tone just a little bit but finally all make sense in the end. The main actress at least didn't spend the entire hour running and screaming although once inside the shack she does plenty of screaming.

Masters of Horror 02: 
Dreams in the Witch House- B-

Graduate Student Walter Gillman comes to a decaying old boarding house in search of a quiet place for him to work on his thesis in quantum physics. There he falls in love with his next door neighbor, a single mother down on her luck, and starts having terrifying nightmares of a rat with a human face and a witch who wants him to kill the next door neighbor's baby. What can he do, the witch controls him in his dreams, and no one will believe him. Can he defeat the witch and save the day? This is Stuart Gordon in his comfort zone, working from an HP Lovecraft story much like his best work Re-Animator, From the Beyond, and Dagon. The story in question was incredibly short in its original form and the episode does get a little thin towards the middle but once William breaks into the wall the story gets trucking with all kinds of nasty gory goodness you'd expect from Stuart Gordon. The only problem is this is a Stuart Gordon movie but there is no Jeffrey Combs, this is a serious violation of the laws of nature although we do have Jeffrey-Lite, Erza Godden who plays William Gillman but still he isn't Jeffrey Combs.

Masters of Horror 03: 
Dance of the Dead- C-

We come to the weakest of the three Masters of Horror episodes so far which is rather disappointing seeing that it came from Tobe Hooper maker of such classic films as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, and the 2003 version of the Toolbox Murders. The story takes place in a postapocalyptic future where after so many chemical and biological attacks the dead are coming back to life, sort of. Don't think zombies that are here to eat flesh and brains but rather a creature that sorts jerks and groans a lot. Enter into this world Peggy, a good girl living in a peaceful town that looks remarkably untouched by this global destruction. She lives with her mother and they run a diner. Her mother is extremely protective of her daughter and doesn't want her to leave the safety of their town. But then the bad boys come motoring in, two guys who have a unique job to gather blood so the Doom Room, a club in Meskeet, the town were sin is in, can make their zombies dance. She falls under the bad boy spell and runs off to Meskeet with them. There she goes to the Doom Room and finds out some secrets she would have been better off not knowing. The one single thing that keeps this episode together is venerable horror legend Robert Englund who plays the owner and mc of the Doom Room. He not only sinks his teeth into the role, he devours it wholesale with gusto. The rest of the episode that doesn't involve him is poorly written and even worse acted so Tobe can't be totally at fault here, he had so very little to work with. This was a big disappointment for me, I was hoping for so much more. Oh well we have the bigger names coming down the path guys like Dario Argento, John Landis, Joe Dante, and the two I am really looking forward to, Takashi Miike, and John Carpenter.

Masters of Horror 04: Jennifer - C-

Dario Argento takes on a disturbing version of the Lolita in a story of a hideously deformed girl who is taken in by a cop played by Steve Weber after he saves her from a madman who is trying to kill her. She soons takes over his life, destroying his family, and especially his cat because we quickly learn that she likes to eat living creatures. But Steven Weber can't just get rid of her, the sex apparently is far too good. They run off together hoping to make a new life but can he really takes the wildcat out of this mysterious girl, Jennifer? This is the rather disturbing but also rather confusing story. The girl is creepy, the scene where the family's cat first meet hers is genuinely spooky. But they never explain the power she has to seduce men when she looks truley hideous. Aside from being very unsettling but not scary. The only Dario Argento touch in the entire episode is the use of children's music which makes some of the scenes rather wrong. It is sad to say that thus far Masters of Horror had peaked in the second episode and has gone down hill from there.

Masters of Horror 05: Chocolate - C

Of all the Masters of Horror episodes I have seen thus far this is the hardest to quantify. I am usually very good at saying if something is good or bad because I get a reaction, but this time it is so vague I can't really say whether or not I liked this. It is the story of a chemist who leds a dull empty life, his life's work is synthesizing the flavour of honey dew to make an artifical flavour out of it. Then one night he starts having these strange dreams or visions of another person, he can smell, taste, experience everything this other person does, this includes sex, and murder. Now he is obessed and travels to the other side of the country to find her, but what happens when they finally meet? This is a horror story, it isn't pretty. I think one of my bigger problems is the lack of any explanation I wanted to know why he had the visions but because he never knew I guess the audience wouldn't either. I would have like to have more vision and less of the two of them meeting. I did love Matt Frewer as the wise ass co-worker, he plays such a wonderful wise ass it is great. The director Mick Garris, whose brain child this entire series was, does a good job with his own short story. Mick is best known for his work on Steven King movies, The TV Mini-Series of the Shining and the Stand and recently Riding the Bullet. I don't like King's work that much but he doesn't seem like a bad director, unfortunately this hasn't made me a fan of his work. Even after writing this I still can't figure out if I liked it or not.

Masters of Horror 06: Homecoming - A

Republicans Do Not Watch This. Joe Dante finally brings the Masters of Horror series up to the level it was expected to be. This wily satirical tale about dead soldiers who fought in a war which is causing a great of division in the country. If you aren't exactly good with satire it is our current war in Iraq. These zombies aren't like most zombies, these aren't brain eating zombies or flesh eating zombies. All the zombies want to do is vote, yes they came back from the dead to exercise their right to vote. The story is told through by politcal spin doctors that want to get their president who sold a war based on dubious reasons, and a hard edged ultra right wing politican pudit, think Anne Coulter. They witness the dead coming back and at first decide this is a good thing, the dead are coming back to affirm their faith in the president amd they say it is a good thing. But then they learn these soldiers have come back to vote for the other side. Now it is an abberation, these are supporters of the enemy and they end up in interment camps. How can the political spin doctors keep this before it gets out of their control. It is a witty politcal satire with a stern anti-war edge. It is also not just preaching to be against the war, there are many funny site gags, my favorite involves a zombie being told to read a piece of paper he puts on a pair of glasses with one lens shot out with matches up with his missing eye. I really liked the message this episode sent out, you betray the countries trust then there will be consequences, and those consequences will bite you on the ass. This is the best work Joe Dante has done in twenty years, it is smart, sharp edged, has the balls to take an openly anti-war stance, something you don't see on TV at all. This is exactly what I wanted Masters of Horror to be, not just the usual horror tripe that Hollywood bleches out these days. It is rare to see horror with a political message but this does it well, it balances making sure the message gets through but doesn't beat your head into a desk with the message. Look for Robert Picardo, a Joe Dante' regular as the head of the president's politcal machine, he like Robert Englund really roll out their best preformances in these episodes. This totally renewed my faith in this series the first five had weak stories or weak directors. This one hits all the bases and scores a definite home run.

Masters of Horror 07: Deer Woman - A

Burned out cynical detective Dwight Faraday, played by Brian Benben know for his role on the HBO series Dream On, has been kicked off the homicide squad for the much more rewarding job of animal attacks. Then one day a man is killed in a very strange way, it apepars he was trambled to death in the cab of truck. Now he starts to investigate the attack and stumbles on a strange Indian legend, the Legend of the Deer Woman. A legend of a beautiful woman with legs of a deer who seduces men, does the wicked deed and tramples them to death. Why? Why you asked, the American Indian casino employee says it best, 'You White People Always Want a Why. It Is a Deer Woman.' This is a John Landis special, funny and scary I am still chuckling at it while I am writing this review. Brian Benben is absolutely great as the burned out cop. The scene where he is laying in bed trying to figure out how a deer could kill a hick in a semi-truck cab is just great, I was rolling on the floor laughing. I was so worried that with Masters of Horror lackluster start the rest would be less than great, but these last two Homecoming and Deer Woman have been classics. I am eagerly looking forward to the next episode, Cigarette Burns by John Carpenter.

Masters of Horror 08: Cigarette Burns - A

This is the one I have been waiting for. Last year I originally heard about this Masters of Horror series, at first I was only marginally interested okay yah a new Tales from the Crypt but then I heard it was going to have John Carpenter and I became interested. He is my favorite director, his work like Halloween, the Thing, the Fog, even Big Trouble in Little China are classics almost without peer. Now we can add Cigarette Burns to that list of great accomplishments. Kirby is a theatre owner with a special talent, he can find rare prints of films. He is hired by this mysterious man, played perfectly by Udo Kier, to find the only print of 'Le Fin Absolue du Monde' the Absolute End of the World. This movie was only screened once and the movie patrons went insane and the theatre burned down. Kirby is in dire straights and needs the money so he goes in search of this film and learns that film is power and in the wrong hands a terrible weapon. This is a great episode, it is the first that made me unsettled, it is a shame I don't get scared anymore because this one would have scarred me good. The movie felt a little like the Ninth Gate where the search for something dark and terrible embodies the nightmare that you are searching for. I love the suspense of the film you never were sure where the danger would strike from. I really liked how very little of the actual film was shown, to make a real film that would have that kind of power would be almost impossible, it is better left to the audience to create their own nightmare film. I loved this episode, it was the one I was waiting for and I am very happy to say I was not disappointed. The last three Masters of Horror episodes have lived up to what I expected from this kind of series, let's hope the rest are this good although they have to live up to what Cigarette Burns was.

Masters of Horror 09: The Fair Haired Child - B

Tara is an outcast at her school, how do we know this aside from being laughed at by the other students she has never seen a comb before and her sweater covers her hands. This is the Ginger Snaps school of social outcast stereotyping. Well she gets kidnapped by a weird couple in a strange house, one of the weird couple is genre star Lori Petty who does a great job of being crazy. They drug her and toss her into the cellar where she finds a boy hanging from a rope. This boy is the mute Johnnie and together they start to see these strange warnings to beware of the fair haired child. This one wasn't as good as the previous three but is still better than the early ones. Tara is a bit of an annoying whiner, but Lori Petty much like the other big namers does a fabulous job with their parts. The movie is directed by William Malone who is the most unknown of all the directors in Masters of Horror, you will probably know him from the remake of House on Haunted Hill back in 1999. He does a good job with a less than spectacular script. You know what happens before it happens, the twist ending I knew shortly after she is tossed into the basement. A bit of a let down after Cigarette Burns but that is certainly a tough act to follow.

Masters of Horror 10: Sick Girl - C-

This is the tale of two starcrossed lovers, Angela Bettis and Erin Browne (better known to the softcore crowd as Misty Mundae) and a little bug that turns into a much bigger bug when it infects another person. This is less horror movie and more lesbian relationship angst movie, girl who likes bug and girls can never find a girl who has the same interests, when she does that girl turns into a bug much like Jeff Goldblum in the Fly, only much less parts falling off. I didn't like this one, not enough horror for it to be part of the Masters of Horror, this is a problem they have had a couple of times Dance of the Dead being other notable one to come to mind. Misty... errr Erin Browne, does get naked which really isn't a surprise, why she used her real name is a bit of a question mark, I would have understood if she didn't get naked and wanted to take her career in another direction but off her clothes went and into bed with another woman she went so it was pretty much her standard Seduction Cinema fare. I didn't hold much hope for this episode when I learned this was being directed by Lucky McGee, he is supposedly some sort of Horror Wonder Kid after he made the movie May, which read a lot like this one except it is a bug not a Frankenstein type creature that gives the movie its sliver of horror. I didn't like May and I didn't like Sick Girl although both Angela Bettis and Misty... errr Erin Browne, did a good job but a distinct lack of horror made this a very poor horror movie.

Masters of Horror 11: Pick Me Up- A

Our story of dueling serial killers, a truck driver who kills hitchhikers, and a hitchiker who kills drivers who pick him up and the girl is stuck in the middle played by personal cutie Fairzu Balk. This is a story that really be set in the southwest, not the forests of British Columbia but you make do with what you got. Michael Moriarty plays the truck driving psycho and does a great job, he is thoroughly spooky but that maybe just because he is drinking again. I went into this expecting really nothing, with a couple of exceptions the entire Masters of Horror series has been rather disappointing but this one really surprised me. It was really great, it was all about the two psychos and poor Fairuza stuck in the middle. My favorite part has to be the summit of the psycho in the cab of the truck in the last fifteen minutes, there is just something funny and scary about two psychos that take offense to swearing. This was a pleasant surprise to a series that has had more down and than up.

Masters of Horror 12: Haeckel's Tale - A-

Ernest Haeckel, an aethist medical student in Boston in the 19th century believes that he can bring life back to the dead, much like Dr Frankenstein. He meets a man who claims to have the powers of necromancy but Haeckel's dismisses as nothing more than a side show fraud. That is until he is told his father is very sick and must go to him. Haeckel travels on the road all day and as night sets in it begins to rain. Haeckel finds a dry place to stay under one condition, he doesn't go outside that night, no matter what he hears. Our necromancer appears at the house late at night, yes trouble is a foot. This is an interesting story, it definitely is a Clive Barker story, mixing sex and zombies really is his realm alone. This was a decent enough ending, it wasn't as good as some episodes but it was still better than most. This is the last episode of the first season, the 13th episode by Japanese Horror God, Takahashi Miike, was deemed too intense for Showtime and will have to wait for its DVD release sometime later this year. There is going to be a second season, I hope they fix the problems of the weak sometimes off genre stories. Very ambitious but a little too weak to be a great series.

Phantom of the Opera (1988) - C+

In this telling of Gaston Lareux's novel Phantom of the Opera we get a lower budget version that most, what makes Phantom of the Opera work normally is the big costumes, the big sets, lots of music but in this one being a low budget film you replace pagentry with gore and Robert Englund's low, incredibly menacing preformance and you get a more horror oriented Phantom of the Opera. Here the Phantom isn't a brooding poet, scarred by a horrible accident, no the Phantom Robert Englund supplies sold his soul to the devil so he could become a great muscian and like all Faustian deals the Phantom is horrible scarred. So in order to move around in society instea of a mask Robert Englund steals human flesh to sow onto himself in a wonderfully grotesque collection of scenes, as he literally puts his face on. Aside from Robert Englund's great performance, he always seems to enjoy these kind of roles, the rest of the cast seem to be sleepwalking through it. The plot seems to be missing something, we have modern day at first and then 1890s London for most of the movie and then only lipservice to modern day at the end. The late 80s was the dying days of low budget in Hollywood and this movie is better understood when you know they planned to make a Phantom of New York movie that had the modern Christine being hounded by a modern Phantom but the movie didn't make a big enough splash and the sequel was never made. Still a good Robert Englund monster role if not the best Phantom of the Opera adaption.

Class Reunion Massacre - C-

Six former classmates receive invitations one day to a high school reunion. When they arrive at their alma mater, however, they find that not only are they the only ones to have receved letters, the invitations were actually sent by a deranged preacher intending to murder them all as punishment for their wicked ways. Will any of them escape from the remote schoolhouse alive, or will they all meet their final judgement? This is a movie that started off strong and completely turned on it axis and turned into a crappy movie. The movie started off really creepy and good, it was made immediately after Halloween so it doesn't exactly follow the slasher formula because they hadn't made figured out the slasher formula but the important parts were there, psycho and victims. The movie has a couple of good psycho traps and the first appearence of the slasher dressed as the Grim Reaper was cool but then we meet the unmasked psycho. The psycho unlike most slasher has a motive, and it is based in religion. All the victims were sinners and therefore must die. This really is the first slasher movie where the sinners die. I really didn't like the religious message that is literal beaten into you at the end. It was a good build up with some good deaths but then they hauled out the religion and it ruined the movie.

Lair of the White Worm - B

Ken Russel's adaptation of one of Bram Stoker's many forgotten tales. It focuses on a Scottish archeologisy named Angus who while excavating the remains of an old monastery comes across a strange skull that looks like a giant snake's head. At the same time the strange Lady Sylvia Marsh who has returned just as Lord D'Ampton, played by a then unknown Hugh Grant, has inherited his lands and the legend of the D'Ampton Wurm, a dragon that his ancestor once slayed. Which is told through an incredibly catchy rockabilly song. With Lady Sylvia's return people start disappearing and acting strange. Now it up to Angus, the Trent Sisters, who lost their parents under mysterious circumstances years before, and Lord D'Ampton to uncover the mysterious of the skull, Lady Sylvia, and the D'Ampton Wurm. Yes this movie is quirky, and at times weird with its snake worshipping topless nuns and the what-not that is the charm of Ken Russel, he is an offbeat director. It is also interesting to see Hugh Grant in an early role which he probably wholeheartly denies ever being in today. This is an interesting off-beat horror movie with some strange humor. If you are tired of the usual horror movie and want to see a giant snake that requires human snacrifices give this flick a try.

Zombie Cult Massacre - B

After getting lost in the middle of nowhere, a young couple Marvin and Sally, accidentally hit a zombie before they know what is going on another couple arrive in a second car and shoot the zombie. They offer to take them back to the compound to meet with Jeffery the leader of their religion. Okay now it is here that I would much rather take my chances with the zombies, the word compound and religion always equals crazy cult trouble. Marvin and Sally go with them, because if they didn't we would only have a Zombie Massacre rather than a Zombie Cult Massacre. They meet up with Jeffrey the leader of this Branch Davidan Style cult, and like all cult leaders Jeffrey is a big time sexual pervert. Probably the only reason why cults exist is because there a middle aged sociopaths who want to screw teenage girls. In any case Marvin becomes one with the cult or rather one with the Devil who makes several appearences including a possession scene that looks like the devil was applied to the film with a blowtorch. You have to see this cheese to believe. At the same time Marvin is taking over the cult bikers show up. Yes the massacre now begins. In the end we have Zombies at the Branch Davidan Compound which happened to be outside of Sturgis. Lots of zombies get shot, as do white t-shirt wearing cultists and a new hefty bikers. This movie is pure 100 percent cheese made by Jeff Dunn, a one man band out of Cincinatti. The movie is cheap, the special effects are laughable, but the movie seems to make it all work by supplying enough blood and violence to make you laugh. Plus the devil is a hoot, the guy who plays him is so over the top you almost believe the Devil would be an alcoholic blowhard. This movie was despite being made for a 1.98 was rather enjoyable. I knew what I was getting into so I wasn't expecting much but it did make me laugh and entertain me for 90 minutes so it was a pretty good hoot of a movie.

Return of the Living Dead 2 - B+

Those pesky unkillable zombies are back and hungering for brains. James Karen and Thom Mathews, the two medical supply warehouse employees from the first one are back to playing almost the same roles except they are now graverobbers. The movie knows this because at one point Thom Mathews says, I remember all of this, you, me [James Karen], them [the zombies]. This movie plays up more of the comedy of the first than the horror, the zombies are more Three Stooges than heralds of apocalypse which works well, watching a zombie try to climb out of his earthen tomb but get constantly stepped on was hilarious. What I didn't like was the main character was a kid, kids in horror movies drive me so thoroughly nuts. With the exception of Guillermo Del Toro's Devil Backbone, you always know the kids live and nothing ever bad really happens to them. The movie really belongs to James Karen, the guy is genius actor and plays this character perfectly.

Corpses Are Forever - D

When I saw the cast of this movie it read like a Cult Movie Dream Team: Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes In the Slime-Ball Bowl-O-Rama), Debbie Rochon (Tromeo and Juliet), Brinke Stevens (Slumber Party Massacre), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), Richard Lynch (Puppet Master 3), and Don Calfa (Return of the Living Dead). This powerhouse team of cult movie icons could make a horror movie like no other, unfortunately this movie is the worst fan fiction the biggest basement dwelling nerd could have ever come up with, how in gods name they made this into a movie and convinced everyone to star in it is beyond me. The story if I remember correctly is about a spy for the CIA who has the ability to see into the mind of a serial killer but the problem is he doesn't remember any of it and the serial killer apparently opened the gate to hell letting loose a bunch of zombies. So he has to venture back into his mind and find out how to close the door to hell. Along the way he has to deal with spies, a rogue army general, and CIA chief and all sorts of other James Bond like stuff, hence the title. The star of the movie also happens to be the writer, director, and producer of the movie, needless to say he gets all the choice lines, and almost all the screen time. For the amount of cult star power in this movie it sucks on toast, the fight scenes are so pathetic it was actually sad to watch them, our hero is a rotten actor and an even worse action hero. The only thing that saved it front the F is the other cult movie stars actually do a halfway decent job with the rotten tripe they are forced to spit out. A sad movie from what could have been prime cult material.

Adam and Evil - C

Group of high school kids go camping for the weekend to celebrate their graduation. But when they get to the abandoned camp site they find that a killer is on the loose. Camping always is trouble in movies, you always have trouble lurking in the woods. This movie was a pretty decent straight forward slasher movie, you know who the killer is in the first five minutes but that is because of the name. I think that was one of the biggest problems of the movie, the title is too obivious, it gives everything away. The acting was pretty decent, it was a little light of the gore and nudity, kind of odd for a slasher movie. All in all this was a pretty good slasher movie, there are less and less of them being made these days so when you find one that you don't hate it is a small victory.

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 - C+

Canada's most successful slasher series gets a sequel but it has nothing to do with the first movie at all. In 1957 Mary Lou the Prom Queen is burned alive after a prank committed by her jilted boyfriend goes wrong. Fast forward thirty years to 1987 where the jilted lover is now the high school principle and his son is dating the girl who is inline to be this years Prom Queen. While hunting for decorations she opens a trunk from 1957 which has the old prom queen's sash and crown, odd how those two things didn't go up in smoke with the rest of her, oh well no matter. She becomes possessed by Mary Lou and starts killing everyone around her. If you pay attention every character in the movie has a last name of a famous horror director, Carpenter, Browning, Craven, and Hooper which is a very appropriate because this entire movie is derived from half a dozen horror classics, the two most obvious ones are Carrie and the Nightmare on Elm Street Movies. For bein imitation it still isn't all that bad, some of the hallucination scenes are very good especially the one with the horse and the blackboard that becomes a whirlpool but it can never shake off that imitation smell and that hurts the movie.

Death Smiles At Murder - C

An early movie from Aristide Massaccesi, or as he is better known Joe D'Amato. This is a movie from early in his career 1973. It is the story of a girl who comes back from the dead to destroy the happy marriage of the doctor's son who gave her life, I think. This is one of those Italian Gothic Creepers that borrowed heavily from Edger Allen Poe, complete with bricking up someone alive behind a wall. It felt a lot like The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, but it also shared that film's same confusing plot line, you really don't know what exactly is going on for half of the movie, the beginning is confusing, the middle is confusing, but the end when we start walling people up starts to make sense. If you know Joe D'Amato's later work you are in for a shocker this is nothing like it at all. It is much more subdued, there isn't the over the top nudity and gore although this a wicked shotgun blast to the face that presages his later more gore streaked work. The one consistant and good thing about the movie is the haunting musical score which really helps fit the mood. This is a good example of the Italian Gothic Creeper which was around in the late 60s early 70s but was quickly overshadowed by the gialli movies. It is not the greatest movie, it probably isn't even the best creeper around but for a glimpse of Joe D'Amato before he went full speed give this a look.

Kill The Scream Queen - F

Wow this movie sucked, the entire movie is a fat creepy looking 80s Hair Band reject taking cheap looking strippers to his tired looking nightclub and making snuff movies with them. That is the entire movie, there is no character development, no plot, just naked girls and a fat loser killing them. The movie makes lots of sense when you learn the fat loser with the really bad long hair also directed and wrote the movie, it is still really scary because this is probably that guy's biggest fantasy and I am willing to bet had done it in real life before. The movie was only 75 minutes long but when it just the same scene over and over except the girl is different. An incredibly bad movie in the vein of Murder Set Pieces which also sucked beyond reason but at least that one attempted to have a story, this movie was just about boobs and butchery.