Snow Lodge
Chapter 42
Brian stood on the snow-covered path, blindly searching for his friend. He couldn't see him anywhere. He called out AJ's name until his voice was merely a whisper, and his throat was stripped raw by the cold air. His entire body felt numb, and his hands had long ago turned blue from the cold, but he wasn't going to give up.
The snow fell in sheets, covering everything around him, and the freezing cold wind blew in gusts so strong it threatened to knock him off of his feet. Brian moved slowly, sluggishly as across the landscape, searching desperately for any sign of AJ, yet finding none.
Brian called out for him again, the sound stolen by the wind, and he strained his head as he listened desperately for any answer to his pleas.
For a second he thought he heard something, a sound coming from somewhere in front of him. He moved as fast as his exhausted body would let him, a small ounce of hope driving him onward. It was then that he saw him.
AJ was laying in the snow, covered in blood, the white snow around him tinged red. Brian staggered as he closed the distance between them, dropping to his knees beside his fallen form.
"Alex?" Brian called, pulling him into his arms.
AJ's brown eyes opened slightly, and Brian could see in them the amount of pain he was in.
"Bri." AJ barely whispered.
"I've got to get you out of here." Brian spoke, on the edge of panic. He made as if to move, but AJ weakly gripped his arm, trying to keep him close.
"Don't leave me." AJ pleaded, even as he felt the darkness pulling at him.
"I won't leave you Alex. I promise. But we need to get out of the snow." Brian replied, pulling AJ closer to him, trying to warm his frozen body.
AJ shook his head, making Brian frown.
AJ finally managed to gather enough strength to speak, and Brian had to lower his head to AJ's face to catch the soft words.
"Just hold me."
Brian tightened his grip around AJ, becoming more and more scared as AJ suddenly began coughing violently. He rolled AJ onto his side, never releasing his grip as AJ retched and coughed up a puddle of bright red blood.
AJ weakly tried to push himself back up, and Brian helped him. As he rolled AJ onto his back, Brian gasped at the line of blood that fell from the corner of AJ's mouth. AJ looked up into Brian's azure blue eyes, locking their gazes.
For several moments, neither of them spoke, their eyes communicating for them, each silently telling the other their most innermost thoughts. Brian could almost hear AJ's voice in his head whispering "I love you," even though his lips never moved.
Slowly Brian lowered his head, needing to show AJ how he felt, not trusting that AJ would know otherwise. He fitted his mouth against AJ's, slowly kissing him as he allowed everything he felt for the younger man to come once again to the surface. He felt AJ smile into the kiss as he tentatively kissed him back, letting him know he understood.
The kiss seemed to go on forever, until AJ eventually stopped responding to him. Brian pulled back from the kiss, but kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to open them, he didn't want to look. If he did he knew what he would see. He had felt the life draining from his love even as he kissed him.
Instead, Brian lay AJ back down in the snow, before covering him with his own body, holding him tightly as if trying to merge them into one. He was gone. His Alex was gone.
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Brian shot up off the bed, tears falling from his eyes even as AJ's name fell from his lips. He was shaking uncontrollably, his body as frozen as AJ's had been in his dream. He jumped as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, confused. The arms weren't Nick's. Every other time he had woken up, Nick had been there to comfort him, even though it had been hard for Nick to do. But this time it was someone else. It took several moments before he was coherent enough to recognise the person as Howie, but when he did he allowed himself to relax into the embrace.
Howie felt Brian relax, and began to softly whisper to Brian, trying to calm him. He hadn't realised just how bad Brian was doing, despite hearing it from Nick earlier. He was scared for Brian, knowing that he was not dealing with everything very well, but at the same time, he could still hear a tiny voice in his head telling him that this was all Brian's fault.
"Shhh. Brian don't." Howie whispered, trying to soothe him.
Brian was mumbling something softly, so softly that Howie couldn't hear it. He pulled Brian closer to him, rocking him gently to calm him. It was then that he finally could make out the words.
"My fault. All my fault."
