Snow Lodge
Chapter 8
AJ lost track of how long he held Brian as he cried. He knew it was a long time, because he could no longer feel anything below his knees where he had been kneeling on the hard floor for so long. Brian's crying had diminished into the occasional hiccuping sigh, which was barely audible over the blizzard still blowing outside, but at no point did either of them release their grip. It was as if they were locked together, unwilling and unable to pull apart.
When AJ felt Brian's head jerk for the third time, he knew that Brian was almost asleep. He carefully tried to extricate himself from Brian's grip, but found instead that Brian pulled him closer instead, fighting to hold on.
"Bri? You gotta let go." He whispered softly, trying again to pull away.
"No." Came Brian's muffled reply as he nuzzled his face into AJ's chest even more.
"C'mon Bri. We can't stay here. Let's get you to bed."
"Not letting go. Not again." Brian mumbled, his sleep roughened voice testament to the fact that he was only barely aware of what he was saying.
AJ froze in shock. What did Brian mean? He couldn't possibly mean what AJ thought he meant. Could he?
AJ tried again to pull away, and again Brian pulled him closer. AJ sighed and changed his tactics. He ran one of his hands through Brian's hair, trying to soothe and reassure him. "Brian, come on. We can't stay on the floor all night."
Brian finally responded, lifting his head from AJ's chest and blinking back tears as he looked up at AJ. AJ was shocked at just how small and vulnerable Brian looked. His eyes were wide and the glistening tears in his eyes made him look much younger than he was. AJ put his hands under Brian's arms and tried to lift him up as he stood up. This time Brian responded and with help from AJ he slowly got up from his knees.
Brian never released his grip on AJ as he allowed himself to be steered towards the bedroom. AJ walked Brian over to the bed and sat him down on it. He managed to calm Brian down enough to get him to loosen his grip, and he then bent down and pulled Brian's shoes off, letting them fall noisily to the floor. Brian jumped at the loud noise, and AJ looked up at him from his spot on the floor. Brian sat there unmoving, simply staring at AJ, an almost blank look on his face. AJ sighed and stood up, pulling the covers back from the bed he manoeuvred Brian so the he was laying down. As he pulled back, Brian's hand shot out and grasped his forearm, trying to pull him back down again. AJ could see the pleading look in Brian's eyes and knew what he had to do.
"Shh. Bri, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere okay?" He whispered softly, as if comforting a small child. Brian nodded and relaxed his grip on AJ's arm, allowing him to pull off his shoes and scoot under the covers with Brian.
Almost immediately he felt himself surrounded by Brian's warmth as Brian did his impression of a limpet and clung to him. He absentmindedly brought his hand back up to run through Brian's hair again and the soothing action quickly lulled Brian to sleep.
Sleep was not as easy to come by for AJ though, as he replayed the evenings events in his mind. He was so confused and he didn't know what to do. What was he going to do with Brian? He was obviously seriously hurt by what had happened with Leighanne, but what was he going to do about it?
He wondered if he should call the other guys and let them know what was going on. If he told them where he was then he knew they would all drop everything and fly up here to help. But something told him that Brian didn't want that.
If he had then why would he have gone through all the trouble of coming up here to the middle of nowhere, to a place that he thought everybody had forgotten about? No. He wouldn't call them and tell them where Brian was.
He'd let them know he had found him, but that was it, unless Brian decided he wanted them here, AJ wouldn't tell them anything.
That only left him with one problem. It meant that he was gonna be the only one to look after Brian, to help him through this. But he didn't know if he could, if he was strong enough to do it. He hadn't been before, when it was him going through it all, what made him think he was going to be able to help Brian? Chances were he was gonna screw things up even worse. After all, the little voice in his head whispered into his ear; 'that's what you are, just a good for nothing screw up.'
