Snow Lodge
Chapter 7
"Alex?" Brian whispered softly as he laid a hand on top of AJ's. AJ jumped at the contact, and Brian watched as AJ's eyes clouded over before clearing and once again focusing on him, locking the pain and emotion back up in a little box in his mind.
"Yeah Bri." AJ spoke, his voice thick and gruff, as if holding in his emotions.
AJ realised that Brian had been watching him and spoke quickly, not wanting to give Brian a chance to question him first; knowing that he was neither willing nor able to answer the questions that Brian was inevitably going to ask.
"You up to telling me what the hell is going on now?" He asked, needing to know, and equally needing to get the attention shifted away from himself.
Brian looked at him for a moment, before glancing away to stare at the snow that was still beating against the windows. He sighed as he stood and walked over to the window. AJ watched him, knowing that he had to let Brian tell it in his own time.
Brian stared out at the snow-covered landscape and a small part of him was surprised to note that both of their cars were almost buried under a mountain of snow. He reached out and put a hand against the glass, shivering unconsciously as the cold surface came in contact with his skin. He took a deep breath before he began, all the while staring out at the snow, never daring to turn around, frightened of the response he would receive once AJ knew the truth.
"I got home Thursday night. She didn't know I was coming. I wanted to surprise her." He stopped and laughed harshly. "More fool me."
Behind him AJ watched his friend's tense back, whilst at the same time able to see the tortured emotions flickering across his face in his reflection in the glass. He tensed, somehow knowing what was coming, yet unable to accept it until he heard Brian say it out loud.
"It was really quiet inside, but I just thought she was in bed asleep y'know. After all, it was really late." He shifted slightly, turning more towards the window. AJ could no longer see Brian's reflection, but he could sense the tortured emotions pouring out of his friend. AJ fought the urge to speak, to try and comfort him, and remained silent, allowing Brian to continue telling his story at his own pace.
"I crept upstairs, I was gonna climb into bed with her and just hold her all night, so that when she woke up in the morning, she would find me there. I could almost picture the look on her face when she realised that I was really there with her, and she wasn't dreaming." He shook his head sadly. "But I guess I'm the dreamer."
AJ couldn't stand it any more, and he stood up silently, before moving to stand just behind his friend. He reached a hand up to rest on Brian's shoulder, to show him his support, and he was surprised to find that his hand was shaking.
Brian felt AJ's presence behind him moments before he felt AJ's gentle, reassuring touch. That was all the encouragement he needed, and he felt the tears run freely down his cheeks as he finished his tale.
"When I got outside our room, I thought I could... that Leigh was... it sounded like..." Brian broke off, overcome with sobs as he relived that terrible night. AJ moved closer to Brian, and surrounded Brian with his strong arms, subconsciously knowing that Brian needed the support. Brian took his hands away from the glass and brought them up to his face.
"She was in there... In OUR bed with... with another man."
AJ tightened his grip around Brian as he felt Brian's strength drain away from him with the admission.
"Oh Bri-Bri" AJ whispered, using the name unconsciously, almost able to feel his heart break all over again.
Brian collapsed, falling into AJ's embrace. AJ wasn't expecting it, and they both fell to their knees on the floor. AJ kept his hold on Brian, refusing to let the now sobbing man go, as if trying to actually transfer his own strength into Brian. Brian was shaking with the force of his sobs as they wracked his body. But he hadn't finished, and so he was determined to press on and tell AJ the rest. He half turned and buried his face in AJ's chest, taking comfort in AJ's presence, wrapping himself up in it and allowing it to soothe the pain away once more. Giving him the strength and the will to finish what he had started. Without moving his head from AJ's chest he continued;
"They didn't see me. I couldn't move. But then... then he told her he loved her. And she... she told him she loved him too."
"Oh God Brian." AJ didn't know what to say. He knew how terrible it was to hear the one you loved promise their love to somebody else. He knew that feeling all too well. It felt like having your heart ripped out of your chest and then watching as your lover stomped it into the ground until there was nothing left of it.
He closed his eyes as he felt the inevitable tears well up. Even after all this time, the mere thought of that night was enough to make him break down. But he wouldn't cry. He couldn't. He had to stay strong for Brian. Someone needed to be there to help him pick up his heart and put it back together again.
He found it ironic that it was going to be him, and he had the fleeting thought that maybe he should just tell Brian 'I told you so' and then leave him to it, the way it had been for him before, but he knew deep down that he could never do that to him. Not to Brian.
