Brian stood just inside the room, staring at the form of one of his best friends laying almost deathly still on the hospital bed. He looked so frail. So silent. So lost.
It took several minutes before Brian was able to move from his spot just inside the door; but slowly he managed to walk the few steps to AJ's bedside. He then stopped and half sat, half fell into the chair beside the bed, never taking his eyes off of AJ once.
He tentatively reached out a hand and touched the tips of his fingers against the back of AJ's hand. His skin felt cool to the touch, and Brian had to fight the urge to pull his hand away.
Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get a hold on his emotions. Sitting there, beside AJ made his guilt multiply by several thousand degrees. He almost felt it would be better if he had never existed, at least then AJ wouldn't be in this position now.
Brian then opened his eyes again and forced himself to focus on AJ's pale figure. He took in every detail, every contour of the small figure in the bed, noticing now the paleness of his skin and the darkness of the bags around his eyes that betrayed his late-night torment over the last few weeks.
He let his eyes sweep downwards, following the wires that snaked across AJ's body, recognising for the first time the sharp angles of the bones jutting out beneath the skin, realising just how much weight the normally skinny man had lost. Casting his mind back, Brian was ashamed to say that he couldn't remember the last time he had seen AJ eat anything.
He felt the tears stream down his face once more, but made no move to wipe them away.
Reaching over with his free hand, Brian gently brushed some loose hair off of AJ's forehead, leaving his hand there afterwards.
"I'm sorry Alex, I'm so sorry." Brian managed to whisper through his tears before he closed his eyes as he choked up once more.
Brian jumped suddenly as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, and he gasped harshly before relaxing as he heard a familiar voice whispering soothing words in his ear.
He leaned his head back and opened his tear-filled gaze to find a familiar pair of blue eyes looking down at him.
"Nick." Brian whimpered softly before collapsing back into his best friends comforting arms.