Reach For Me
//\\
Kevin was going to dig a trench into the floor if he continued to pace like that, A.J. thought. Every so often, the older man would send lethal scowls in Howie's direction. Not that it did much good, since Howie was unconscious. A.J. tried his best to ignore Kevin while lightly running a damp cloth across Howie's scalding forehead. Kevin was just being Kevin, disappointed that his band mate closest to him in age had acted so juvenile.
"I'll give him something to have a headache about when he wakes up," Kevin grumbled under his breath.
A.J.'s instinct of Howie's defender kicked in before he could stop it. "Not if you don't plan on going through me first," he snapped, unconsciously moving closer to Howie's slightly trembling body.
Howie reached out and grabbed the hem of his wifebeater, wincing at the sudden jolt the mattress gave.
Kevin softened at the look on Howie's face. He knew what hangovers were like, and they were bad enough, but the two *N SYNC kids had really done serious damage to their usually benevolent Howie D. He sighed. "How's he doing?"
Lifting the cloth, A.J. pressed his palm against Howie's forehead. He frowned. "Not good. I think he has a fever," he said grimly.
"Huh," mused Kevin thoughtfully. "I thought Howie could hold his liquor pretty well."
A.J. nodded. "So did I." He ran his thumb over the cloth to find it warm and almost dry. He got up to get more ice, but as soon as he had stood up, Howie's grip on his wifebeater became vice-like.
Kevin chuckled at A.J.'s bemused expression. He retrieved the cloth from A.J.'s hand and smiled. "Stay with him, I'll get it," he said. Before he left he sent a fleeting, mysterious look at Howie.
Still confused, A.J. sat on the mattress, pulling Howie's head into his lap. He hummed softly and ran his hand through Howie's almost fluid hair, frowning nervously.
When Kevin came back, he was met with the scene of Howie curled around A.J.'s waist, his head in A.J.'s lap. A.J. was still, watching Howie's face with mixed expressions. His eyes alone were a winding torrent of adoration, worry, fear and something that ran much deeper than friendship. Kevin hid a smile, resisting the urge to sing, "I know something you don't know".
He gave A.J. fair enough warning, clearing his throat just loud enough for it not to sound intentional. And it was all the warning A.J. needed. A.J. looked away from Howie fluidly, instead studying something on the far wall. Kevin smiled sadly. When you were constantly scrutinized, you learned how to look innocent after doing something you shouldn't have been doing.
"Here," he said, handing the ice-filled cloth to A.J.
A.J. forced a smile and went back to stroking Howie's forehead softly. He must have known Kevin had seen the look on his face, because he was trying with every fiber inside of him to avoid Kevin's eyes.
Kevin came over and rested his palm against Howie's forehead. "Nah, he's fine. Just a little warm." He smiled at A.J. in a secretive sort of way. "You want to stay here with him overnight? See if he's okay? He might be a little disoriented when he wakes up and I think it would be better if you were here when he does."
A.J. nodded dumbly, suddenly looking lost in thought. "Ah huh," he said distractedly, "I will."
Kevin gave A.J.'s shoulder a brief pat before exiting the room. As he shut the door, he could have sworn he heard A.J. murmur, "Oh shit". He shook his head, smiling. He walked down the hallway towards his room, singing softly to himself. "I know something you don't know..."
\\//
When morning came, A.J. was still beside Howie, holding his friend close with his cheek against the top of Howie's head. As he woke up, he felt chaste bliss for the first time in his life. He never wanted to move, but he knew as soon as Howie woke up, he would have to.
"I should have kissed you when I had the chance," he murmured into Howie's hair, casually letting his eyes close. The more time he had to hold him the better his day would be. He yawned and nestled his face into Howie's curls, smiling with a sigh.
A.J.'s breathing slowly took on a rhythm and eventually the sun's lazy rays cast their sleeping spell on him and he fell back into unconsciousness, his arms lightly encircled around his best friend and hidden crush.
//\\
Brian and Kevin cornered Nick as soon as he left to go downstairs for breakfast. He had forgotten something inside the room and was now attempting to open the door to no avail.
"Nick."
Nick jumped and dropped his keycard. He glared briefly at Kevin before bending over to pick the card off the floor. Without so much as acknowledging his older band mates, Nick went back to trying to open the door. Brian reached out and grabbed his wrist.
"What?" Nick sighed loudly, turning an impatient scowl on Brian.
Brian gave him a pleading look. "Listen, we're worried about Howie."
Nick raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"
Kevin frowned. "Don't be an ass, Nick. Just listen," he snapped.
Nick pursed his lips, silently agreeing to be silent but not agreeable.
The cousins glanced at each other, mutely asking who should be the one to ask. Brian won, or lost, depending on the mindset. He turned to Nick sheepishly, as if apologizing for whatever words he would have to speak next.
"What happened on the bus yesterday between A.J. and Howie?"
Nick shrugged. "I dunno. Nothing really..." He saw Brian and Kevin's disbelieving, unimpressed looks and decided to save himself a long lecture and an even longer tirade and blurted out, "A.J.'s in love with Howie."
Brian blinked. "He..._what_?" he cried. "He can't be! He - he's engaged to Sarah!"
"I know, that's what I said," Nick agreed, nodding.
Kevin blinked. "He's in love with Howie," he stated.
Nick nodded.
"But he's engaged to Sarah."
Again, Nick nodded.
"And he has actual _logic_ that explains why this is?"
Nick hesitated. "Er... Well, it's _logic_, but it's not _good_ logic," he reasoned, nodding in agreement with himself.
"Ah, we're dealing with _A.J._ logic," said Brian dryly. "Well, we might as well give up _now_ if that's what we're dealing with."
But Kevin was curious. "What's his logic, Nick?"
Sighing, Nick wondered what his fate would be if A.J. found out he was spilling his heartfelt love for Howie out to Brian and Kevin.
But, Nick thought with a tiny - but wicked - grin, it would be well worth it for the look on A.J.'s face if he did in fact find out.
When he finished his report, Nick found Brian and Kevin staring at him as if _he_ were the one with the insanely drunken logic. "Hey," Nick protested defensively, "it's A.J.'s logic, not mine."
Brian looked to Kevin for further instructions. "What now, cuz?" he asked.
For almost a complete minute, Kevin didn't answer, just shifted from one foot to the other, occasionally opening his mouth to give an answer, apparently thought it half-assed, and rethought his words. Finally, he said, "We leave it alone."
Nick gawked. Brian cried, "What? Why?"
"Because it's not our business," said Kevin evenly, laying a warning glare on Brian. "And don't argue with me. It isn't. If A.J.'s had six years to think about this, he's not going to change his mind before his engagement with Sarah is over and they become husband and wife."
Having found his voice, Nick stammered, "B-but A.J.'s in fuckin' love with him, Kev. He can't marry Sarah! And Howie's miserable! I mean it's gunna happen again! Remember what Bri - " He cut himself off. Brian wasn't looking at him anymore, instead studying the floor. Nick cleared his throat and tilted his head back, watching a fruit fly circle Kevin's head.
Kevin sensed Nick's hesitancy to go on and picked up the conversation from where Nick had dropped it. "We need to back off... Nick," Kevin said, turning to the younger man, "stay out of this."
Nick's jaw fell, his eyes bugging out in shock. "But - but I... Kevin!" Kevin rolled his eyes. "Don't whine at me, Carter. Just stay out of it. You got me?" His eyes glinted threateningly.
Nick pouted. "Go the fuck ahead, fuck their lives up." He threw a dismissive hand in the air, trying to look uninterested. Five seconds passed before he exploded. "But you _can't_! A.J.'s in love with him and he's making the biggest mistake of his entire life and if he marries Sarah he'll break Howie's heart because he'll be trying to avoid him all the time and that'll only kill D and _you can't_ DO _this to them_!"
Silence.
"Wow," Brian commented.
Nick shot him a glare before settling his hopeful eyes on Kevin. He gave his all to one, last plea. "It _is_ our business, Kev. This has happened before with me and Rok." He ignored Brian's wide eyes.
"If Howie goes through what I did, he'll be destroyed... And A.J. will be deliberately avoiding him, and that'll only make it worse because Howie _notices_ that type of shit. Just don't let him be heartbroken that badly. Please."
Kevin's face was a mask of respect. "You're really worried about him, aren't you?" he asked, his lighthearted pride for his youngest band mate tugging a smile into his lips.
Nick nodded. "I love him. He's like a brother to me, like all of you are," he said softly, shrugging. "And he's helped me through a lot over the past two years... Why shouldn't I try to do the same for him, you know?"
Kevin smiled. "That's probably the most unselfish thing I've ever heard you say, Nick," he said with a genuine smile.
Nick returned the smile, only cockier. "That and the fact that D was driving me nuts with his wailing."
"He _had_ to crush my fantasy of him being normal someday, didn't he?" Kevin grumbled to Brian.
\\//
Next Chapter
Contents
Home