Realize
Part 3
Nick laid there on the couch, silent as Kevin's words sunk in. He could still feel the warmth from Kevin's kiss upon his lips. "He loves me too" he whispered softly. Suddenly, as if he were watching a movie that faded to black...so did his consciousness. "Kev..." was all he managed as his eyelids shut.
"Nick" Kevin called running back into the living room. He could see Nick's limp body lying motionless on the couch "God no" he cried running over to him and shaking him gently "Come on Nick, you can't leave me yet. Not now, not when I finally told you what I felt, come on Nicky, come back to me" he said maneuvering himself so he cradled Nick's upper body. He quickly felt Nick's neck for a pulse...he found one, week but still there.
"Damn it Nick! You've always been so fucking stubborn; you've been stubborn since I've known you. Why the hell are you giving in so damn easily now?" he said shaking him. "Don't you fucking give up now!"
Nick felt as if he were on his boat out on the ocean during a storm. He was being tossed back and forth across the deck. The winds whipped around him whispered to him... 'Let go'...'Weakling'...and 'Quit'.
He was going to, that's where he was sailing to...to let go. But then the winds changed...they sounded like Kevin, they were still angry...or was that frightened that he was sensing now. 'So fucking stubborn' they now whispered and 'Giving in so easily' and he thought about it...he'd never given up, never...not even on the last level of Legends when he kept dying...why was he giving up now...he wasn't a quitter.
Nick walked over to the edge of the boat and looking down into the water. He saw his family...not his parents, but his brother and sisters, AJ, Howie, Brian and Leighanne, Kristen, they were all there, and there was Kevin...holding him in his arms, tear streaks on his beautiful face. "No" he whispered jumping over the edge of the boat and splashing into the water.
Nick opened his eyes and looked up, his pale blue was met by a shocking green "Kevin" he whispered.
Kevin's heart about leapt into his throat when Nick opened his eyes "Nick" he said happily squeezing his hand.
Nick took a deep breath and sighed "I don't wanna die, but I will...if we don't stop the bleeding...I have an idea."
"Right now Nick...I'm open to any suggestions, 'cause we're running out of rags" Kevin stated.
"In the kitchen is a metal cylinder about 4 inches long and an inch around. I don't remember why its in there but it is, bring it out here" Nick told him.
"Umm...okay, do you want to tell me why?" Kevin asked easing out from under him.
"Just bring it too me and I'll explain...also...when you get back in here...light a fire" Nick said relaxing back onto the couch.
Not even 10 minutes later the fire was roaring and Kevin was looking at the cylinder "I still don't get it" Kevin told him.
"Use the fire tongs and put the cylinder in the fire" Nick told him motioning to the fire.
"Okay..." he said setting it carefully in the fire "How is this going to help?" Kevin asked.
Nick blinked slowly, fighting to keep what little hold on consciousness he had "I...I saw it on TV once..." he paused and shook his head "You use the metal...pressed against the skin...to cauterize the wound."
"What!" Kevin exclaimed "You can't be serious Nick...Do you know how much that will hurt you?"
"Death will hurt me more don't you think?" Nick retorted.
"No...there's got to be another way" Kevin protested.
"Kevin...I love you...with all my heart and soul. You told me you love me too...I know you don't want to hurt me...but please...I want to be able to kiss your sweet lips, look in to your beautiful eyes...I want to do that for a long time" Nick said softly.
Kevin sighed and picked up the cylinder with the tongs, he could feel the heat radiating off of it "I don't want to hurt you Nick."
Nick held out his wrists...cuts up, still bleeding "If you love me..."
"More than anything" Kevin replied and using the tongs pressed the cylinder against one of Nick's wrists, silencing the scream of pain with a passionate kiss. He brushed his wrist against the cylinder as well, he love wasn't going to suffer alone, he thought swallowing a scream of his own.
It was two hours later Nick woke up in a hospital bed, head slightly pounding and a dull ache in his stomach "Kevin" he moaned wincing as the bright lights invaded his sensitive sight. He looked over and saw Kevin standing with Kristen and his heart nearly broke...until Kevin looked over and smiled, his eyes brightening to an emerald green. He walked over and kissed Nick gently on the lips "Bout time you woke up" he said taking one of his hands.
"But...Kev...Kristen...you..." he was hushed by another kiss from Kevin.
"Hush now...stop mumbling and I'll give you your explanation" Kevin said with a chuckle. "Ask questions and I'll give you answers" he told him.
"How'd I get here?" Nick asked looking around.
"Bout 5 minutes after I cauterized your...our wrists...Brian called my cell...the signal had come back because the worst of the storm had passed. So I put him on hold and called an ambulance" Kevin said looking at his own bandaged wrists.
Nick followed his stare and let out a small gasp "Oh Kevin" he said picking up his wrist "Why'd you do this?" he whispered.
Kevin smiled and leaned down to kiss Nick's bandaged wrist "Because I couldn't let you suffer anymore alone. Because I couldn't see you hurt alone, it hurt me more than some burns on my wrist."
Nick looked up and over at Kristen who just smiled at him "What about her?" he asked.
"What do you mean, what about her?"
"You said you love me, but you're straight. And married" Nick replied.
Kirsten just shook her head "Did anyone ever say he was straight? I married him because he is my best friend, he needed a cover and I just wanted to get married."
"I do love you Nick, in all honesty...I have for a long time. I didn't think you swung that way so I kept it to myself. But when I walked in to your kitchen and I saw you on the floor, blood pooled around you" he paused and you could visually see him shudder, as if remembering it "Seeing you like that made me realize that no matter what you thought of me...I had to tell you how I felt. It made me realize just how much I loved you, just how much I couldn't live without you in my life."
Nick smiled and a tear rolled down his cheek "Kevin, I love you so much. I'm glad it was you that found me, because I don't think I'd of had the will to survive if it hadn't of been you. When I passed out...I was drifting somewhere...and there were these winds...telling me just to let go, to give up and die, but then they changed...it was you, you were telling me how stubborn I was, and that I was giving up so easily. You made me realize I was giving up without a fight, you gave me that fight Kevin, it was because of you" he whispered.
"Christ Nick" Kevin said blinking his eyes trying to stop tears from once again falling "You're gonna make me cry" he muttered. "I love you so much Nick, be with me" he whispered softly as he kissed Nick's cheek.
"Of course I will Kevin, forever and a day" Nick replied.
"God...now you're making me cry" Kristen sniffled grabbed a Kleenex out of the box beside Nick's bed.
Nick smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek "I think I made myself cry" he said with a laugh.
THE END
