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Sleeping
Give me a good reason why I shouldn't be asleep and then give me a good reason why I shouldnt hit you with a stick
Just think, if u were my teddy bear I'd be sleeping with u right now.
I lost my teddy bear ... can I sleep with you?
Sleep is the thing you complain about getting too much of when you are little and not enough when you get older.
Shower
Rubber ducky your the one. You make my bathtime soo much fun. Rubber ducky your so cool, I just can't have my bathtime without you! Don't you wish you were my rubber ducky?;-)
Im in the shower. I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit.
Shower~Instead of the usual "come and join me" I would rather see you sprawled out naked on my bed when I get back!
I'm sorry. I cannot come to the computer right now, for a pair of hands are rubbing all over my hot, moist, naked body, over every inch...caressing every curve...and so I cannot respond because I'M IN THE SHOWER
It's %t, do you know where YOUR rubber duckie is??? Mine's gettin all wet and nakie with me, lucky ducky huh?
I'm in the shower right now. Dont get any ideas, I charge for stuff like that. ;-)
Silly
I tried to sniff coke once.....but the ice cubes got stuck.
%n, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and later used against you.
Some one help! Im being chased by 6 ducks that want my skittles! Ouch!!! theyre biting me! Crap they got the skittles........ buying a new pack.....
Whos your favorite little rascal? Is it Alph-Alpha or is it Spanky?
I am getting ready to stalk %n I will be back as soon as I get done.
Statistics
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!
It takes about 2,893 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
It is
physically impossible to lick your elbow...
43% of all statistics are useless
90% of the worlds population are idiots and the other 10% ar in great danger of contamination
If we could shrink the earth's population to a town of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, there would be: 57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 from the Western Hemisphere 8 Africans 52 Females; 48 Males 70 Non-white; 30 Whites 70 Non Christian; 30 Christian 89 Heterosexual; 11 Homosexual 59% OF the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people and those 6 are citizens of the US 80 would live in substandard living 70 would be unable to read 50 would suffer from malnutrition 1 would be near death 1 would be near birth 1 would have a college education 1 would own a computer So, when one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for both acceptance and understanding becomes glaringly apparent.
Scientists say 1 out of ever 4 people are crazy...so go check 3 of your friends, if its not them suprise, its you! Congrats!
The chances of meeting someone with Barbie's human-scale measurements (36-18-33) is 1 in 100,000. The chances of meeting someone with Ken's is 1 in 50.
It's clinically proven that when driving down the road, you will pass more people that are going the opposite way of you then the same way.
Misc
Killing gnomes with sporks!
they're coming to take me away haha they're coming to take me away hoho hehe haha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and ill be happy to see those nice young men in they're clean white coats and they're coming to take me away HAHA!!
::Break dancing with my mini-me::
Hip..hiphop....hip hopapotomus
I'll be right back...don't you go dying on me!!! -dumb and dumber
Funny
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. BRB
You are probably doing one
of these two things:
I'm riding the ponies outside WalMart. Be back when I run out of quarters.
I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.
Romance
One day you'll come to me and ask me what's more important: You or my life. I'll say my life and you'll walk away never knowing that you're my life.
"You know you're in love when you think about someone more times in a day than you think about yourself."
I went outside the other night, looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you. Everything was going great but then I ran out of stars...
Religious
At church, maybe where you should be ya think?
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