Well, this is a bunch of really Special guys. I'll try not to get sentimental and mushy.

Aside from being the co-writer of my movie script and a fellow quote compiler, Soggy (as all who know him call him) is the shortest pledge and is often called "ADD boy" for his lack of concentration skills. Sage and I have many similar interests, like fast cars, guns (preferably silenced), James Bond, Tombstone, Lords of Acid, Mortal Kombat, and Dawson's Creek. Sage is also my partner in crime over at Lobdell, and we like to cheat at spades over the internet (I know, we're so bad). Sage's waking hours are spent talking about some Giant female conquest, collecting mp3s on the internet, or whining about the Red Sox or the Patriots. Sage is from Minnesota, where there's nothing to do but go light fireworks and see if the cops will show up, then run away. However, they do have nice golf courses up there, and if you want to stay up in Minnesota, his family is very, very accomodating, especially his sister Freya. Sage used to be a master debator back in high school in Minnesota, so he is good at sounding like he knows what he's talking about. We usually let him deal with the police.

I've known Danny longer than anyone in the house, so trust me when I say that if it looks like a crack baby and acts like a crack baby, it's just Danny. Danny had the pleasure of attending MY high school, where I tried my best to ignore him. Now that I can't, Danny has grown on me. Like some kind of mutant leech that you can never get off, no matter how hard you try. Danny's "pissing in the mailbox" attitude has really paid off for him, both in the classroom and with the ladies. Of course, his keen sense of fashion, elegant spectacles and down-to-earth ROTC hair cut don't hurt, either. Danny is an aspiring Goldeneye player and fancies himself the Ultimate Authority on Billy Madison, often going days without saying anything that isn't a direct quote from the movie. He is also the only person I know who is dumb enough to let a drunk person put a dart in his ear. And for the last time, no one will EVER make out with you, Danny. YOU suck. (Editor's Note: Unfortunately, we have to rescind that last statement in view of the fact that Danny Fisher is Getting Married in June 2001 and on the honeymoon we think she is probably required to make out with him. However, we maintain that Danny is Lame.)

When Damien arrived at MIT, he was a normal, sarcasm-hating human being. Since then, of course, I have molded him in my image, first with gentle sarcasm, then with heavy cynicism, and eventually with a brazen crime spree one dark night in Cambridge, wheeling illegally procured athena chairs down the street. Yeah, the street in your mind. Some parts of Damien I still haven't been able to change, though...his fascist political views, his inability to participate in anything that he isn't good at, and his impressive work ethic. I think his resolve is weakening, though...his weak points are Mountain Dew and Nacho Cheese Doritos, preferably the 3-D kind (they taste even louder). Food...Mongo like. All I need is more time, and many more trips to Quality Mart at 4 in the morning to convert him into a full- fledged Gen-Xer. Damien and I are polar opposites, yet we manage to get along. Which is good for me, since he can bench 385 and crush my skull like it was made out of...bone. This strength comes in handy for crew, which appeals to Damien as the ultimate team sport, but I think he just did it to Feel the Rush. You should never fuck with any members of our pledge class, because if you fuck with Damien's friends, you fuck with him, and if you fuck with him, you fuck with you, and if you fuck with you, well the Cathlolic Church might have some harsh words for you. Damien and I are also the sole members of the exclusive Dawn Patrol, and we've been saving up for the day when Slam Man will be ours at last. I'm convinced that one day the pressure of being nice to everyone will drive Damien to take an electric drill to his head.

Coming in at number........FOUR!!! is Chomp, although I have no idea why that's his nickname. Alex hails from Bumblefudge, Wyoming, where everybody knows each other a little too well, but I guess that's normal when you're all related. Although Alex looks like one of those exotic Samoan canoe men, he's actually a half-Asian just like me. Chomp is also a goalie for the MIT Ice Hockey team, as well as a fine addition to our IM soccer team. When he's not with his girlfriend Gillian, Alex is usually getting whacked in the face by some English hooligan or plotting the untimely demise of Ryan's fish.

Seth has a way of attracting women with his jolly laugh. Unfortunately, he has a penchant for midgets and amputees that I will never quite understand. On his free time, Seth enjoys playing guitar, coding, hanging out with his girlfriend ________, and playing video games. He also fancies himself a master at Goldeneye, but I think in his heart he knows who's king. I can sense fear, you know. Seth, who grew up near Baltimore (his family has since moved down to sunny Uraguay), is a true renaissance man. He's a better cook than our chef Mary, a talented musician, an html master, and well-traveled besides. He also makes a mean Mystery Machine. I can see Seth in 30 years as an aging hipster trying to hold on to his youth. Seth's main flaw is an irrational fear of harmless little beavers.

Ryan is a surf jock from California, where he grew up under power lines in a house with lots of radon in the basement. I think he was also dropped many, many times as a child. Of course, this is just my way of saying that Ryan is a "special" person. He often gets cold in 80 degree weather, and usually walks around with at least 4 layers of clothing on. Some of his more Disturbing Behavior is exhibited whenever the theme to Mortal Kombat comes on, and he starts trying to hurt anyone within reach. Ryan and I have had some interesting conversations while crossing the bridge to go lift, and on one of these occasions invented the now-famous "alternate nicknames" for our pledge class, which can be seen on Ryan's Pledge Class Page. Ryan has strange ideas when it comes to women--he prides himself on being an expert stalker, and has been known to take severe whippings from total strangers. I guess the elder gods must have been asleep. When intoxicated, Ryan (who is also an ordained priest) is a dangerous guy. On pledge trip, he converted Jeff to Christianity with his famous "leaves of the fall" speech. And on our spring break Dawson's Quest, I woke up one morning to find a strange yellow liquid all over my bag, not to mention the clothes inside it. Ryan claims he didn't do it, but he somehow woke up in a different room from the one he went to sleep in. Hmmmmm...

Mike had a frosh year of ups and downs. The ups usually involved sex, and the downs usually involved big fires, guys named John, and getting dumped like day-old bagels. Fortunately, Mike always has Jack, Jim and Johnnie to get him through any bad situation. Mike's habits probably give him a life expectancy of about 35, but I'd give him more credit than that. 25, at the most. One of Mike's favorite activities is going down to Kenmore Square and hanging out in a little coffee shop called "Fuel". He likes it because he can smoke there, it's a good place to meet people, and the coffee is nice and black. Despite what you might think, Gough is also a good athelete--he's an excellent tennis player, and a fellow ex-MIT Squash player. He's from Michigan, and generally gets drunk to console himself whenever his beloved Wolverines lose...or to celebrate when they win. Mike is our class historian as well, and during pledge trip we shot the infamous Death Pictures, which are now proudly displayed here (in case you hadn't noticed). We still need to finish those, but it will be hard to keep Gough from actually killing people.

If you ever plan on saying something really dumb, make sure Ricardo is around, because you can always count on him to one-up you. This is usually due to Ricky's incredible command of the english language. Some classic Ricardoisms can be viewed in the BIG LIST O'QUOTES. Some Ricardoisms are cervesa-induced, but most of the credit goes to his Mexican up-bringing. Rickets (as he likes to be called) and I had some good times in 4F discussing fat-faced Daisy Fuentes, who is Ricardo's little taco of love. He is also my first lifting buddy, although he shows up late a lot, and sometimes not at all. Most of Ricardo's time is spent complimenting girls on their large asses, or being led around by his girlfriend Christi, who is only a foot taller than him and looks remarkably like Stacey Williams. Good-Ness, Ricardo. Ricky lives in Northern Virginia, and is a valuable addition to our IM soccer team. He enjoys rollerblading, gets headaches when studying physics, was part of Dawson's Quest, and has aspirations to be the first 5 foot player in the NBA. Doood, stay cool forever.

Most people don't know this, but Steve actually IS a monkey. If you watch him closely, you will soon notice his ape-like features and his lithe, stringy arms designed for clambering around on the highest of door frames. Steve also has simian habits, such as tool use (does anyone have a bowling ball?) and picking parasites out of other apes' body hair. Monkey boy's primary habitat is McCormick, where he is safe to frolic with the other primates. Steve, who is originally a Cinncinatian chimp, now enjoys warp-powered stereo equipment, solar car meetings, jedi mind tricks, juggling (up to three Indian girls at once!), and ping pong with the Zoepffelganger. Steve may be whiter than Forrest Gump, but don't let that fool you, because he sure loves to run. Seriously.

Ever since Miller High Life Night freshman year, Jeff and I have had a special bond. I'm his guardian angel of sorts, keeping him out of trouble when others are out to get him. Since then, we have had some interesting conversations with the Nightline girl and masqueraded as our idols, the Twatson brothers of the Beaver Patrol. Jeff is a big fan of indie punk music, and although I missed the Superchunk show last year, I'll be sure to make it the next time I have a chance to do some good healthy mosh-pitting. Jeff enjoys marking his territory wherever he goes, whether it be the Prudential Center or our own TV room. He's also an infamous rapist over at Wellesley, where he was once apprehended taking lewd photos of...fully-clothed girls. We all thought that his lesbian haircut would help him fit in, but apparently the jacket gave him away. Well, that and the drool.

Klint Lin, I mean Rose, really likes to work. Unless you count freshman year, of course, when we actually had fun. Since then I've been forced to make do with less sarcastic folk. Klint, who also goes by "Little Hitler", usually spends his time "hanging out" with one or more of his female TAs. Apparently he has found this to be a useful strategy to getting that borderline grade. No, Klint is really smrt, and has an incredible grasp of 2.001 for some reason. (I still don't.) Klint is quite the ladies man, which is understandable, considering his prodigious personal hygiene. He was actually a finalist in the highly-touted "Mr. MIT" pageant...unfortunately, he lost it in the banana hammock round. Klint was also the only one brave enough to accompany me on the IFC retreat freshman year, where we actually SAW the one and only Paramount mountain...it's right behind those clouds, can't you see it? Klint is also a fellow Dukie, and one of these days we WILL go down to Cameron Indoor Stadium to bask in Coach K's glory.

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