Hell

He who guards the gates of Hell along with his guide. He is counting you below, so that you may leave and not be mistaken for a resident of Hell, your number is:

From the makers of Special K and Frosted Flakes, I give you, MAGIK STARS! Enjoy! (Just me having some fun w/ a pseudo-cereal box, please send hate mail to [email protected] and kindly state your religious beliefs for a poll I'm doing. Thanks.)

Welcome To Hell!
My Diary of Sorts

Greetin's fellow Hellians! This page is for you.

Please note: All links to my webpages are in white, to my friends' pages, where applicable, in blue, and to websites that I find relevant to the topic of my posting are green.

February 28th, 2003: So, I know many of you are asking, "WHAT?! I thought you did this already with that ramblin's page." So did I...so did I. You may blame Dr. Josh. As I have the ramblin's page for things that I encounter that amuse me, it's not really about me. That was a delibrate action.

Quite frankly I have a GIANT secret, and I might as well tell you from the get-go. I'm on my owm spiritual path; having abandoned Catholicism, well maybe not ABANDONED per se, and rejecting key truths to that religion. I'm on my own, searching. I have been lost for two years now an' had anyone said to me, "You will cease to be Catholic a year after you are confirmed." I would have called that person a liar. I WAS a member of that parish. Period. End of sentence. Once I decide upon something, it's set in stone, there is NO changing of my mind. (I was confirmed, i.e. made a witness to the faith community, when I was senior in HS {high school}. You are confirmed either you junior or senior year of HS, whichever year the bishop visits your parish. Other parishes confirm you at 13, I don't know about that, it's always been this way in my community.)

"So if you aren't a Catholic in the purest sense of the word what are you, aside from lost? That is to say, what do you believe at this current time?"

An excellent ? (?=question) really. I lean toward Wicca, feel free to check out that site, I wouldn't dream of making you go there. And it must be said, that I don't agree with some of the things the writers of that site say are true about Wiccans; however, I like what they have goin' for them. I like their approach to certain things. You could say I'm electic, it means whatever works for you. In addition to Wicca, I mix Catholic aspects, off the top of my head, One god alone, who is in us all; thus no place that is Heaven; no Devil figure personified, he's is also in us all, thus no place that is Hell; there is only the "Otherplace" where we all go upon death, which is cliquely, like mixes w/ like an' no intermixin' w/ those not like you, it's tied to the "Heaven an' Hell are states of mind" idea; and lastly, the spirit world exists on another plane, or parallel dimension if you like, from ours the physical plane.

March 1st, 2003: Reasons why NOT to tell your family you will join a cult (link is to my deadjournal, scroll to find the revelant entry called "Why Try") as a joke:
1. They will freak.
2. They WILL freak!
3. They will tell your other family members.
4. Said other family members will also perform actions 1-3.
5. The neighbors and faith community will also know and they shall talk about you whilst pointing at you and whispering, "There's that (Your last name, maiden if you are a married female) boy/girl." This is only applicable if you are from a SMALL (under a 1000 people) town, or if you have ever lived in a small town, but have moved away, they shall still talk about you.
6. In accordance w/ #5, all of the above actions shall be experienced and your family shall experience extreme shame.

March 13th, 2003: I've decided this page will be for things that irk me a LOT. Today's essay, "Proof that it IS possible to be blamed for your brother's outburst."
The background info: First, when yelled at or talked to by The Mom, you are not allowed to talk back. That is you cannot reasonably or calmly tell your side. 2ndly, the parents are having trouble with my brother, to be explained further in the Story section.

Story: My 12 year old brother said, "We (the kids) cannot tell you 'no.' But you can tell us 'no.' " I said, "He has a point." Then I left for the PC room. So the fight goes on, he tells Mom he hates her. He yells it, 'cuz he's all pissed. So she hugs him to "prove" that she "loves him." I know she loves us kids. but "HELLO!? You DON'T hug a pissed off kid." They don't want that, they want their space. So I wanted to go to them and tell her to stop hugging him, but for reasons I shall explain later, I did not. So he's so pissed he punches two holes in the wall. Then she turns on me, in the PC room, she blames me for "encouraging his behavior." She also said, "You are not to support him against me and you will never be an adult no matter how old you are if you do." Also, in doing so, I was saying that she "Wasn't worth a shit, and I am worth a shit." All because I said he had a point about the 'no' thing I get blamed for him saying he hates The Mom, and his punching the wall twice. After which, when she had finished her rant, I had to say I understood. I did NOT get to comment and had I attempted to break up the hugfest, I'd have been yelled at even more than I was above.

The Aftermath: I called my brother to tell him I will support him when I feel he has a valid point. I had to have his assurance that we wouldn't be overheard. I also had the "pick your fights" talk and said that Mom's weakness is to be criticized. I also told him he could call me anytime to gripe about Mom, because I will support him. I hope he doesn't turn out as fucked as I am. That place was Hell for me.

May 1st, 2003: I have bad people relations. Read this AIM:
posthumanbeing: You haven't I'm not upset with you (except for the fact that your first chat was fun, but thereafter it seems like you completely lost any understanding you had of me-which is weird because you're the first I've ever chatted with who has that problem). we won't be dating, though, so there's really no point in meeting you.
Later....
posthumanbeing: We'll still meet, though, if you want. I'm fair. (My note: Intially, I was arguing in favor, then I changed my position. And that isn't fair, that's pity.)

May 30th, 2003: "The more I learn, the less I know." Famous words uttered by The Evil Enchantress, i.e. me. An update on the previous post about my beliefs. I'm more New Age, less Wicca, some tiny bits of Eckankar, Taoism, Buddhism and of course some key elements of Catholicism. "How's that work?" you ask. Simple, I mediate, use divinationary (is that a word?) means, I believe in magic, the power of dreams, the balance of all things, karma, reincarnation, not lying, and that Jesus was a prophet and had great ideas about spirituality. This section is for J.T., thanks baby! :P :)

August 14th, 2003: Well, I was gonna put this entire convo about beliefs in here, but it's freakin' long, and I'm lazy. The Mom bitched at me for having piles of boxes in the room I share. Which will shortly be my own room, go that! Up side? New shoes, and a new comforter! Yay!

January 14, 2003: Whoa! It's been awhile! One summer job from Hell and four months in fact. Well it's the 3rd day of school, go a VERY busy schedule! (Not!) Okay so the readon I am posting this I finally grew a backbone and allowed a paper I wrote on the untimely death of my sibling, at the age of 16, for an assignment to be posted on the course website, under an alias.

Let it be known that alternative religions are not for everyone. An alternative religion is a religion regarded with fear, dislike, hatred and is not largely accepted as a religion because the followers of said alternate religion do not believe in God. This is NOT about Buddists or Hindus or Muslims, it's about NeoPagan beliefs. So the reason for that VERY bold statement is that The Mom found a link under "Favorites" on the family PC labeled "B" and to have issued the statement following this brief intro she would've needed to CLICK the link. She said, "THE PAGAN BIRCH TREE?! Doesn't Pagan mean idol worshipper? How'd that get here!?"

So I said, "I was surfing and came on by accident and accidently put it on the PC."

She then erased it from the PC. Given that she knows how I feel about religion, you'd think she wouldn't've blown a fuse... Just goes to show ya....

February 23rd, 2004: It's been awhile...Anyway, I went home for the President's day holiday , we got Monday the 16th off. So I went to this benefit auction thing that started at I dunno what time and ended at 1 am. There were free drinks and popcorn and peanuts provided, the other food stuffs you had to pay for. it. The long and short of it it is that one of the eight auctioners came by to talk to The Mom. After he left and sst across and one up from me, The Mom offered to introduce to him. Said he taught Catholic HS religion clases, has a job ans she thinks his own house. I teased her she was trying to marry me off, and she said she wants me to date "Good Catholic guys." I wonder if I need to have a talk with this woman....

June 21st, 2004: I have decided! My new "religion" is New Age. It would figure, being that I am all about being vague, it would figure that I would choose a vague religion. It's not really a religion so much as it's a group of people who incorperate New Age elements into their existing religious affiliation, whatever it may be.

April 16, 2005: I have regected all in favor ofa Force-like presence in the environment. Something like Deism, but not entirely. Mostly, it's just something out there. It's not active, nor personified; it just is.

My current view of organized religion is that it is not for all. Some need it, others don't like medicine, I guess.

Send me BACK, Damnit! The FREAKIN' fires burn!