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Episode Three: Hooking up and Coming Undone It was a Wednesday night and
It was fair to say that
Toni was the competition. She wanted Stella, Toni had Stella, so Toni was in the
way. Still at first shed tried very hard to like Toni. She respected Stellas
status as taken and just tried to shove her own feelings way down where they couldnt
cause any trouble. The problem was there was nothing about Toni that
That she chose Toni over Jerry and Jan left and she locked down doors for the evening and started walking home.
Toni was too good to help out at the caf�. Hell, Toni thought she was too damn
good to do anything but sit around on her ass all day playing with her fucking laptop. She
never helped Stella out and in fact delighted in saying that she worked less and made more
money than Stella did, but
The thing she hated most about Toni was that she always wanted Stella to sell
everything she had in
No that wasnt true the thing
As she walked in the apartment building she could hear Toni screaming at Stella.
She couldnt hear what the bitch was saying or what Stella might be saying back, but
she could tell she was having a fit again and this was just another reason for She turned around and went right back outside, took a deep breath and just started walking. She soon found herself in Changes with a beer in one hand and a brunette in the other and she went home with her and screwed the nameless womans brains out mostly so she wouldnt have to hear Toni yelling at Stella. By the time she got home at 2:00 in the morning it was quiet in the house again. Closed, dammit! Tammy said. Says its closed Mondays, Francis said feeling the same way Tammy did about it. Their first day of classes had sucked. Theyd both gotten lost on campus a half a dozen times and there were too many people who seemed to know right were everything was and just what to do, thats what was off putting, not so much that they didnt know what they were doing, but that everyone else did. We could check out the book store, the sign out front says they have cappuccino. Tammy nodded and they walked to the book store. They ordered a couple of cappuccinos found a table and sat down. This sucks, Tammy said in a whisper. We might try actually looking at some books, Francis said with a smile. The last thing I want to look at is books, Tammy said, and she wasnt kidding, she was a jock not a student. Classes were just something she had to get through so that she could play ball. The store was pretty full and Francis saw several people shed seen at Rhondas. The red head who had told them about Rhondas in the first place was there and she walked over and sat down by them a cappuccino in hand. Hi. Hello, good to see you again, Tammy said quickly, no doubt just glad someone was going to talk to them. Most of the inhabitants of the book store looked like those boring types that just stood around pontificating on nothing. The ones that didnt were obviously with friends and sometimes those people could be even less approachable because well they didnt want to meet new people because they already had people to hang out with. Tammy and Francis had come here to interact with people like them not just sit in a different place drinking bad cappuccino. So they were glad for the company. Thanks for the tip about Rhondas, thats a great place we had a blast. Too bad its closed Mondays, Francis said with a bit of a pout. Stella has to get out of Rhondas sometime, she said. My names Faye. They introduced themselves. I just came in to get a book. She put a bag on the table. Im a trauma nurse so I work in the ER I have to do the 11PM to 7AM shift for the next week which sucks and I like to have a book to read on my breaks or if it actually gets slow. That sounds like a rough job, Francis said. Yeah, but I like it. Faye shrugged. You know if you guys would just like to hang out we could go over to Stellas House Oh we wouldnt want to bother her on her day off, Francis said. Faye laughed. Stellas House is the name of the apartment building where I live; its just behind Rhondas. We have a rec room where we all hang out. Would it be all right?
Sure, were allowed to have guests. Hell, half the population of The four story red brick building looked warm and inviting. The front door opened into a hall with two doors on each side with a door going outside at the end of it. The apartments had to be huge. In the middle on the left wall there was a service elevator and next to that a staircase going up.
Stellas apartment is the first door on the left, Faye added in a
whisper. Dont get too close; the bitch is in town. She started talking
normally as she walked. The door on the right is She didnt really have to tell them that. There was a six-foot arched door way with no door opening into it, and it was so cool Francis eyes couldnt decide where to look first. The wall to the kitchen had been opened up and a bar had been put in. All the other walls except those obviously around the bathroom had been ripped out and huge wooden beams that were supported every six feet by huge, hulking chunks of cedar logs put in for support in their place. The floor was old mosaic tiles obviously recently patched. There were several tables and chairs, a couple of couches, a TV, a stereo system with surround sound, and there was a foosball table, a pool table, a weight set and a stationary bike. The tall ceiling was painted stark white and the walls... Francis found herself taking a double take; the walls were made to look like a mirror image of the room right down to the tables and chairs and people and other objects, each wall a reflection of what was in front of it. Cool, huh? And you should see how it fucks up drunks, Faye said.
Thats Jerry and his partner This place rocks, Tammy said. We should so get an apartment here next semester, Francis. Were filled up right now, Faye said.
But never fear the Dykes change with the seasons, They could hear screaming like fighting. Crank the stereo the bitch is at it again, Millie said looking up from her book. Stellas girlfriend Toni, no one likes her, thats mostly why, Faye said in a whisper. I thought, well I sort of thought Adrian and Stella were together, Tammy said.
Well thats the other reason we dont like Toni, Faye said
still whispering. We all think Stella ought to be with Damn, Faye, Jan said, walking into the room with a big bowl of popcorn. Jan was dark headed with brown eyes. She was about 5 foot 6 with a perfect, hard body, tattoos up and down her arms, about a dozen rings in her right ear, and a stud in her tongue. Do you have to tell everyone everything you think? She sat down at one of the tables and set the bowl down. You guys want some? Soon everyone was at the table munching on corn. Thanks, Francis said grabbing a handful. You guys must love living here.
Yeah, its like living in a frat house without all the bullshit, Except for the one she puts in her own bed, Millie said. You guys! Jan protested. What? Jerry said. Its true. Hell, youre usually the first one talking shit about Toni. Yeah, but not to strangers, Jan said. Luckily Toni thinks shes too good to ever come in here with the rabble, so theres no real fear shes going to walk in and catch us trashing her out, Faye said. But Stella might, Jan said. Faye just shrugged as if to say she didnt care, and you got the impression that Faye had already told Stella what she thought of her mate. Wont step foot in Rhondas, either, Jerry said. Afraid someone might ask her to get her hands dirty. And it was then that Francis recognized him as one of the waiters who worked in Rhondas. Most of the time Im glad I cant hear what shes screaming at Stella about, but sometimes I just wish I could hear it so Id know just what shes got her panties in such a twist over, Millie said. I wanted to ask Stella if I could get a dog They all sighed as a company and looked at Tammy and Francis in turn, and then Jan said, She knows damn good and well its against the rules and that Stella isnt going to cave. Im lonely. With Marcella gone the apartment seems so big, Millie defended.
Marcellas a big girl. A puppy isnt going to fill that void,
love, Besides Marcella doesnt like dogs. If you get one while shes gone shell likely pinch your head off when she gets home, Jan said. Marcella wont tell me no, not ever again if she knows whats good for her. The point is that I want to know if its safe to even ask Stella again, and Im afraid to even approach her since I have no idea what that crazy bitch is screaming about. Well I have a common wall with them, Faye said, and if I stick my stethoscope against it Faye you dont, Millie said with a laugh. Thats just wrong, Faye, Jan said. Well if you wouldnt know wrong, who would? Dont act like you havent done it with me, Faye said. Oh Id do it! I just wouldnt tell everyone about it, Jan said with a laugh.
So, whats the bitch always screaming about?
Pick something. She hates this town, she hates the apartment building, she
hates Rhondas, and she really, really hates Youre kidding, Jan said. Im not, Faye insisted. Said Stella never looked at her that way. Whats Stella say? Mostly nothing. Just takes it and tries to calm Toni down. Never even raises her voice.
How could anyone hate
Maybe her bitch is in love with
You know me, honey, Im just a bottom always looking for a top, You have me! Youre supposed to have stopped looking, Jerry said with a mock pout.
No, I had to stop fucking other
people we never said anything about looking, and
lets face it, sugar, Dont you think if Toni was out of the picture that Adrian and Stella would hook up? Millie asked. I dont know. Jan shrugged. She looked at Jerry with some private meaning. They damn near did hook up once, but someone blew that. Jerry mumbled something none of them could make out.
Faye shrugged. When The conversation went on
buzzing like that till all the popcorn was gone and Chad got up to make some more saying
it was his turn. Then suddenly it was dead quiet and when Francis looked up she knew why; Beautiful. The woman was
just absolutely stunning standing there framed by the doorway wearing baggy,
straight-legged jeans and a wife beater tee shirt with no bra, apparently oblivious to the
fact that you could see her dark nipples right through it. She had a one-inch band rainbow
colors tattoo that went all the way around her upper left arm that matched the one Jan
also had to go with about fifty other ones. When Let me guess youre all bitching about Toni. Ah yeah, that was it, bitching about Toni, Jan said almost too quickly.
Adrian grabbed a chair turned it around and sat on it backwards resting her chin on
the back of it, and then Francis couldnt see her nipples any more and she
didnt know if she was glad or disappointed.
You do realize that you can see your nipples through that shirt right?
So
Im home, Everyone cracked up. Suddenly the screaming down the hall stopped. Everyone seemed to sigh with relief.
So you two, Just friends, they said together which made everyone else laugh. Youre both gay though right? Faye asked. Im bi actually, Francis said.
Thats a fucking crying shame,
Youre like me,
And yet shes in the closet, Francis told them with an incredulous
look. Not liking at all that
Where you going, aint you gonna hang out? Jan asked. Nope. Im feeling mighty randy and I dont want to do any of you and, she looked at Francis with something akin to regret, Id love to do you, but I dont sleep with bisexuals.
And as Francis sat there with her mouth hanging open, Ouch, Francis said rubbing her arm. What, is it time for all the butches in the room to torture me? Faye smiled. Jan and I havent tortured you yet, but if youd like Since when are you a butch, Faye? Jan said with a laugh. Im butch, Faye said indignantly. Then she smiled, I can use a power saw and I have a pocket knife. Is it in your pocket? Millie asked. No. Then it doesnt count, Millie said. Marcella says it only counts if you have it in your pocket.
What does Nothing. She just doesnt sleep with them, Jan said. She likes very feminine women and doesnt like it if theyve ever slept with a man, much less still are. I really dont get the whole butch/fem thing, Faye said shaking it off. Doesnt society put enough labels on us without us doing it to ourselves? Whats it really mean? Were all women who like women, even our little bisexual here, she smiled seductively at Francis. Do you care whether a woman is fem or butch? Francis doesnt care about anything after she sees if theyre breathing or not, Tammy said with a disapproving smirk, and Im not sure she wouldnt screw a dead guy if rigger had set in. Everyone laughed but Francis, who just stared at her best friend with dumbfounded horror. She couldnt believe Tammy would say something like that to virtual strangers. Thats not exactly true, Francis stammered out.
Hey, I dont have What? Francis asked and all the apartment dwellers except Jan laughed louder. My mural. Faye stood up walked over and took her hand. Would you like to see my mural? She winked and Francis smiled and stood up. Id love to see your mural. Tammy shook her head. You really arent a couple? Jerry asked carefully, no doubt seeing the anxious look on Tammys face. No, no chemistry. Jan looked at her like she was crazy and she had to explain herself. Oh I know Francis is beautiful. I mean shes distractingly physically appealing, but I know too much about her. For one thing well shes my best friend and a total whore. Shes constantly landing in the middle of one drama or other caused by her inability to keep her damn legs shut, Tammy said, then she laughed. I just dont find that very desirable. Truth is Im a little upset because well, we just met you guys, and Im sure this is going to start some drama, and I like it here. Dont sweat it. Youre not banging Faye, and at least your friend is safe with Faye. Her only fault is that she sleeps with damn near every woman she meets as soon as she meets them and tends to fall in love with whoever she fucks. Hence the drama which always surrounds Faye, Millie said. Jan glared at her and said without explanation, Fuck you, Millie. Tammy ignored Jan, And the drama Francis always finds herself in. Tammy looked Millie over again; she was almost too attractive to be real. A body that wouldnt quit, nice big boobs, wide hips and a tiny waist. Long, wavy black hair and brown eyes so dark they were almost black with a twinkle of mischief in them. She had a perfect golden tan and a smile that seemed to promise sex.
I didnt want to say anything in front of your friend, but the reason Tammy nodded. I get that. I worry about Francis all the time. Im always trying to get her to go get tested for well everything. Women that are going to sleep around need to protect themselves especially if theyre having sex with men, Millie said. Thanks a lot,
Millie, Its nothing
personal, but Thanks, I feel much
better now, Chill out, baby.
After all, weve been tested, and we arent sleeping around, and certainly not
with women so we arent who theyre bitching about, Jerry said
patting I just hate it when all the dykes start their man hating crap. Millie smiled and
Tammys heart quickened. The woman was just incredibly hot; she just oozed raw sex
appeal. We dont hate men, All the women laughed. Fuck you,
Millie! I think the fact
that I dont want to is what were talking about here. Her smile reached
her dark brown eyes, and Bitch, he muttered. Want a cup of coffee? Jan asked Tammy with a chuckle. Sure, Tammy said. Jan went to get it and Tammy thought might as well who knows when Francis will get done and I cant just leave her here by herself not that she would be by herself but I wouldnt want her walking back to the dorm by herself at God alone knows what time in the morning. Maybe I should try decaf. Ive got my first practice tomorrow; I need to be at my best. Stupid Francis and her stinky libido. Well at least I cant complain about the view. Jan still cant stand it when Fayes with anyone else, but she ruined the relationship, so she deserves to sweat. Millie leaned across the table and whispered to her. Jan set the coffee in front of Tammy and glared at Millie again, so Tammy got the impression that she knew shed talked about her as soon as she left the room. Thanks, Tammy said. So what are you taking? Millie asked. Ill just drink it black. Millie chuckled, I meant at school. Phys. Ed, and yes I know thats stereotypical, but I didnt know what else to take as a major. Im really not very academic minded. Mostly just want to play ball. Id like to be professional eventually. What do you play? Jan asked. Basketball. I played center at home, but I imagine Ill get a forward position here since at least half the girls are taller than I am. Hell, I dont even know if Ill be able to make first string.
How tall are you? Six three, Tammy said. When she was a kid shed been extremely embarrassed by her height then shed found basket ball and now well she wouldnt mind having a couple more inches of height about now just to give her an edge. Ive got a much better question, Jerry said. They all looked at him and then he asked Tammy. Before we sit here drinking coffee and gossiping about everyone we know while Faye has sex with your friend, just how old is she? Everyone seemed to stop breathing while they waited for Tammy to answer, so she almost lied just to see how they would react, but then she said, Shes nineteen. Were both nineteen. They all started breathing again and Millie explained. Having sex with an underage person is grounds for eviction from Stellas House. Stella has a lot of rules, Jan said. I dont know about the rest of you, but Jerry and I stay here because of the rules. I have had enough chicken hawks and drug addicted neighbors to last me a lifetime. Just what is a chicken hawk? I saw that on the sign in front of Rhondas, too, Tammy asked. Older people who hang out in the bars picking up teenagers, Jan explained. We dont allow it. Sometimes well some of these kids theyre not queer at all just sexually confused, and these guys will give them drugs and alcohol and fuck 'em. Its a bad scene. Sounds like its almost pedophilia. Similar yeah, Jerry said. Some of the same psychology behind it Im sure. Find someone young you can bully into doing what you want to do, someone who isnt yet strong enough to fight a strong-willed person, then use them. Most of the other rules make sense, too. Its just the dog thing I dont get. I understand why we cant have cats, Millie said. Id rather
have a cat than a fucking dog, I dont want to have to listen to someone elses fucking animal making noise. I sure dont want to have to smell their shit or have them running through the halls, Jan said. What about Mary and Judy? They have Mikey, whats the difference? Millie asked. Oh, I dont know, that hes a human baby, Jan laughed in disbelief. Id love to
live here, Tammy said. They all laughed at her and she smiled and shrugged.
Shed love to be able to get off the campus and away from everyone she had to put on
a show for. She really loved her parents; they were great people and they could handle a
Tomboy, but she wasnt sure they could handle having a big butch dyke for
a daughter. They were liberal and voted for gay rights, but there was a big difference
between wanting everyone to being treated equally and realizing that you need gay rights
to be in effect because your kid is queer. After what She thought about what she was wearing now, tight jeans and a long-sleeved gray jersey style T, no ear rings, and her hair was pulled back in a half-assed braid. It was true that she was now sitting in the gay section of town but this was what shed worn to classes today. You still with us? Jan asked. Ah yeah, sorry just thinking maybe I need to change the way I dress if Im serious about staying in the closet at school and at home.
Because of what
Most people will guess that you are or theyll wonder and they either
wont care or theyll steer clear of you because of it, but unless you run for
public office it isnt likely to come out in any way that will be believable
in any way that it isnt just your word against theirs, Jerry said. My
parents still think Im straight in spite of the fact that Because you shouldnt have to lie about who you are to have your parents love or acceptance, Jan said in a disapproving tone she looked at Tammy. I dont know if youre a bunch of chicken shits or if youre braver than I am because I just found the closet stifling and being in it well I think thats how I wound up in the sanitarium damn near dead. What happened? Tammy asked. Oh honey Im just a huge gay clich�. She held out her arms exposing the jagged scars ran up her arms from her wrists to almost her elbows. I tried to kill myself. My parents freaked out and had me committed. While Im in there these therapists are trying to shrink my head and theyve got me on all these drugs and all I can hear is ya ya ya from these guys. You know, like when grown ups are talking in a Charlie Brown cartoon. And then there was this day when everything was silent, and I just looked at this poor psychiatrist whod been working on trying to get me to open up for two months and I said, Im queer. He looked right at me, smiled and said, So am I, honey, its certainly no reason to kill yourself. She laughed and realizing that they could they all did. Long story short I got better and four years ago Dr. Parker walks me to the door, opens it, hands me a business card for Rhondas and sends me on my way. Two years after that I finally made it here and it saved my life. Rhondas, why Rhondas? Tammy asked.
Because of Stella, Jan said. Stella has helped a lot of people
get their lives in order or keep them out of trouble in the first place by giving us a
good place to hang out. People to be around that arent drugged-out, self-destroying
idiots. I doubt either Faye or I would even be alive now if it wasnt for Stella, and
God only knows what would have happened to
The screaming from Stellas apartment started up again. I just wish she
could put her own house in order, Jan walked across the room and turned up the stereo. So there it is, Faye said, pointing to the livingroom wall. It was dominated by a mural of a medieval castle, and the door they had entered the apartment through had been built to look like the castle doors. The paint treatment on all the other walls made them look like theyd been made from cut stone, and the window treatments had been made from a wood that looked like hand-hewn timbers. Wow, Francis said with real admiration. Yeah, Faye said in a far away tone. When I was a kid well my childhood was seriously fucked up, the stuff of which nightmares are made. When things got really bad I would think about being locked up in my own castle where no one could get to me. I told just that story to Adrian, no more and no less, and when shed finished my apartment and I came to check it out this is what I had and well maybe youll think its silly, but I always feel safe here.
No, I so get it, Francis said.
I forget youre new so you dont know everything about all the Id love some wine, Francis said with a smile, thinking that Faye looked a lot more nervous than she was. Faye walked into what she assumed was the kitchen, and Francis took a good long look at the Castle. There was something in the strokes in the feel of it that did make you feel safe and secure and something else it was just a painting of a building but it oozed passion, desire, love.
She wanted to pick
Shes nervous and Im not and there
isnt something wrong with her theres something wrong with me. Ive never
been able to tell Tammy or any one else that I dont want to psychoanalyze people to
find out whats wrong with them but to find out whats wrong with me. Like maybe
by finding out what makes them work I can fix myself. Want to sit down? Faye asked nervously. Dont you have a bedroom? Francis asked. She moved a step closer to Faye and kissed her gently on the lips. Yes, Faye said shakily, but my bedroom shares a wall with Stellas and the screaming well its a bit of a turn off.
Francis nodded, set her own glass down, moved up to the older woman and wrapped her
arms around her neck. Faye wrapped her arms around Francis waist and pulled her
tightly against her, she was surprisingly strong and her kiss
well Francis decided
right then that people her own age were a waste of time. Fayes kiss was filled with
passion and as her tongue probed Franciss mouth Franciss own desire was
awakened. Fayes left hand was up her shirt and caressing her right breast through
her bra as her right hand pulled her ever tighter. Francis
pulled her mouth away from Fayes, too much clothes, she breathed
huskily. And then they just seemed to be in a race to see who could get naked the fastest.
Francis won barely. And then Faye was lying on top of her on the couch, sliding her
body over Francis again and again till Francis was already coming hard when Faye brought the toys into play. Adrian had grown up in a house where screaming was usually followed by her father ordering her into the room where he was arguing with her mother so that he could beat the living crap out of Adrian in front of her mother. The twisted bastard knew that the best way to punish a woman is to hurt her kids. Oh, he wouldnt come right out and say hed brought her in there to be his whipping boy. No, hed call her in there to clean up the mess hed made throwing his fit because when he got mad he liked to break things. Not too surprisingly the brutal, manipulative bastard never broke his own things. Shed be cleaning up the mess hed made, hed accuse her of going too slow or doing a bad job or cringing, and then hed beat the living crap out of her.
So It wasnt right. Stella deserved someone who would treat her like a queen not that flaming fucking bitch.
Theyd been so close once. Shed been so close to getting Stella to leave
Toni.
They worked silently for a few minutes, then Jan asked, So, did you get lucky?
Connie, Doesnt that break your two screw rule? Connie is as big a player as I am. Neither of us is looking for a permanent hook up. At least not with each other, Jan mumbled.
Let it go, Jan, Jan nodded. I really like that new girl Tammy. Good people. Likes to play basketball. I told her we liked to get a game together every once in awhile, and she said to count her in. Cool. I took an instant liking to her. As Stella would say, she feels like good people. And the fem well I wanted to fuck her so bad I could taste her till I found out she was a bisexual. That just ruined my whole day. Yeah, Jan agreed. Faye of course had to get horizontal with her.
Damn, I was afraid of that. Sorry Jan, Jan nodded her agreement. It would be nice if just once Faye could actually become involved with someone who actually wanted her for more than a quick lay.
But some huge dumbass I know fucked that up and doesnt have the balls
to actually try to fix it, I did try and Ill tell you what, Adrian, when you grow a set then you can come and give me shit about what I do. Jan smiled, tilting her head to the side. Or dont do as the case may be.
Stella, you all right? Jan asked.
Stella nodded walked over and looked down at what Jan had been doing. Looks
like youve got it all under control. Thanks. Her voice broke, and without a
word
Oh God, Adrian, Stella fell into
You know what I think you should do, kick her fucking ass to the curb, I cant
Then let me do it. You dont understand. None of you understand. Toni I love Toni she saved my life. I owe her everything. Shes just having a bad time Fuck that, Stella. You know that isnt true. How many times have I heard you tell people that you didnt do anything for them that they did it for themselves? Someone else cant save you; those are your own damn words.
You dont know what I was like, Yes I do, dammit Stella. You told me everything. I know. Is that it, Stella? Is that why you put up with her shit, because you think you deserve it because of what you did in the past? Are you a hypocrite as well as an enabler? How many times have I heard you tell people that they have to let go of what they did in the past if theyre ever going to change their lives, make them better. Is that all just bullshit? Let go of her, Stella, let go of her. We could have a good life together. You know how I feel about you, I...
Stella quickly put a finger over
Yes you could, Stella, we both know you could,
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