Episode 16
Episode 17
Episode 18

Episode 18

It’s Time

Adrian had to teach Francis how to run the business in a hurry. She was working on the mural twelve to eighteen hours a day. In the evening her back and shoulders would be killing her, and Francis would message them with some oil she got from Faye. As she was doing it she would run down the day’s events and ask Adrian about anything she didn’t understand. Then they’d get a little and Adrian would just pass out until it was time to get up and go back to work on it again. It was a labor of love, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t exhausted, didn’t mean she wasn’t stressing about hitting her deadline. It was a lot of work all done from a scaffold and it had to be just right.

            Half her time was gone. She was sure she had plenty of time to finish, but she was still nervous about it and she guessed that she just lost track of the time because her phone rang and she almost dropped her brush. She put the brush down and grabbed the phone out of her pocket. It was Francis and the phone said 9:00. She opened the phone.            “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I just lost track of the time again. I’ll clean up and come on home.”

            “Don’t worry about it, just come and open the door. I brought you something to eat.”

            Adrian looked back through the glass door and saw Francis standing there and her heart pounded. She put her phone away and climbed quickly down the scaffolding.

She ran over and opened the door then she hugged Francis and kissed her on the lips. Francis kissed her back.

            “I miss you,” Adrian said, pulling her inside with her.

            “I miss you, too. I took a chance you missed me as bad as I missed you and wouldn’t be too mad that I was coming down here. I know you didn’t want me to see it till you were done, but,” she grinned at Adrian, “I thought maybe I needed to confront the other woman.”

            “I’m glad you’re here.” She’d sat down with Francis before she started the painting and showed her the sketches and told her what she wanted to do just because she felt like she needed her feed back. Adrian took her hand and led her into the building further.
            “Adrian, it’s beautiful,” Francis said, catching her breath. “Isn’t it almost finished?”

            “Not even close,” Adrian said with a tortured sigh. “I’m just now starting to shade it, put in points of light, add the detail that’s going to really make it pop. I’m sure I can finish in time but… I want it to be as good as it can be. I don’t want to have to rush it.”

            Francis handed her a paper bag. “I made you a turkey and Swiss sandwich and brought you a cup of tomato basil soup and a beer.”

            “You’re wonderful.” Adrian sat in the folding lawn chair she’d brought from home and started eating. She watched as Francis walked up to the scaffold and looked up. She made a face and looked back at Adrian.

            “I don’t think I like the idea of you working so tall up with no one here. What if you fell?”

            “I’m not going to fall,” Adrian assured her.

            “You can’t know that, Adrian.”
            “I’m careful.”

            “I’m just going to call you every hour to make sure you’re all right,” Francis said, “and if you don’t answer I’ll call 911.”

            Adrian laughed. “I’m not going to fall.”

            “And see the more you say that the more I’m sure you will.” She looked at the unfinished painting again. “I wish I could do something like that. Take something from my mind and just bring it to life the way you do.” She sighed walked over and sat on the floor at Adrian’s feet leaning against her legs. “Are you going to work a little longer?”

            “I guess I should stop. We should go home,” Adrian said around the bite of sandwich in her mouth.

            “You could work a while longer if you like, if I can stay and watch you.”

            “Sure you can. Is something wrong baby?”
            “No. It’s just that since classes let out we’ve just spent all of our time together and I guess I got a little spoiled. I just miss you.”

            “When this is done why don’t you and I go on a honeymoon? Nothing too fancy, just two days away from everybody and everything where we’ve got nothing to think about but each other.”

            Francis sighed and laid her head against Adrian’s knees. “That sounds wonderful. Where would we go?”

            “Why don’t we take the bike and just drive out to the coast and spend a couple of days on the beach? We won’t even tell any of the assholes where we went then we won’t have to worry about our business or any of our friends’s rather complicated lives.”

            “We could just lie around on the beach like bums… Adrian have you ever been to the beach, seen the ocean?”

            “No, have you?”

            “No, yet it’s only about six hours away.”

            “Well neither of us had exactly what people would call normal childhoods. We’ll just have to remember that we aren’t bound by all the same crap we were when we were kids and go see more things, do more things together,” Adrian said.

            “You want me to look into it on the web? Find something like a lesbian bed and bath close to the beach.”

            “Yeah, that would be great, and get us a good room.”

            “Can we afford to?” Francis asked, turning to look up at her.

            “You know what we can’t afford? Not to.” Adrian looked at her painting then back at Francis and said, “Life’s too short.”

It was two days before the clean up crew was due to show up, and Adrian was no longer worried she wasn’t going to finish.

            She was three stories up on the scaffold when she heard someone whistle loudly and turned to see Willard standing on the ground bellow her.

            “When you’re working a guy could walk in and take off with the whole place.”

            “Ain’t much to take off with right now.” Adrian smiled at him, put her palette down and climbed down the scaffolding. “You know I really like it better when the person I’m painting something for doesn’t see it till I’m done, but it’s almost done and let’s face it I painted this one mostly for myself.”

            “It’s amazing, kid, you have outdone yourself.”

            “You like it?” Adrian asked anxiously.

            “Like it! Honey, I fucking love it.” He must have seen the startled look on Adrian’s face because he smiled and said, “It seems to be my daughter’s new favorite word.”

            Adrian jumped onto the floor wiping her hands on her shirt. “You really like it?”

            “It’s brilliant. I love the message and I love the execution and the colors are so vibrant, the lines so clean, yet there is so much real emotion. This is going to knock this fucking town on its ear. Thank you, Adrian.”

            “Thank you, sir.”

            “Adrian quit calling me sir. I appreciate the respect but… call me Willard or hell you can even call me Dad, but don’t call me sir.” He smiled. “After all, my dad was sir, and he was a mean old son of a bitch. Besides I still consider myself a young man.”

            “All right Willard,” Adrian said. She wasn’t about to tell him that the term dad or any variation there of held no positive meaning for her, even though from what he’d just said she got the feeling he might understand it.

            He looked thoughtful then looked at the floor and asked, “Adrian you’re a straight shooter. If I asked you a question would you answer it?”

            Adrian was puzzled by his question but answered it anyway. “I wouldn’t lie, but I might not answer. It rather depends on the question.”

            “Is Tammy gay?”

            Adrian took in a deep breath, let it out, and said, “That’s not for me to say.”

            “And the way I count it I guess that means yes.” He didn’t sound very surprised or even terribly disappointed.

            “And I guess the fact that you asked means you already knew.”   

            Willard nodded. “Guess I’ve known for awhile. Katie—believe or not—she’s the one who just doesn’t want to face it. We wanted to have two kids, Adrian. But Katie’s second pregnancy was tubal and she wound up losing the baby and any chance of having another one. So it was just Tammy. She’s the best kid parents could ask for and… you just don’t want your kid—your only kid—to be treated like a second class citizen and, well we pride ourselves on being liberal and broad minded but I have to tell you that we—especially Katie—are just having trouble figuring out how to relate to our gay kid. I know she’s going through something right now and… When she was a teenager—I guess just figuring out what she was—well we knew something was wrong because she was just moody and Tammy just isn’t a moody person. We didn’t know what was wrong or maybe we did and just thought if we ignored it, it would go away. Like it was a phase. So I didn’t even try to talk to her about it, or help her through that time. If it wasn’t for Francis I don’t know what might have happened to Tammy because me and Katie we just didn’t know what to do. For reasons that are obvious now Francis could get through to Tammy when we couldn’t, and she just started acting like her old self again, and so we just went right on pretending.”

            And Adrian realized that this was at least in part why Willard was giving her work now because he felt he owed something to Francis and maybe something else. He and his wife had wanted two kids and maybe Francis wasn’t the only one who felt like they were family.

            “I don’t think many people know how to react when they find out their kid is queer,” Adrian said.

            “What did your parents do?”

            “My parents were scum, Willard,” Adrian shrugged. “My dad took off when I was a kid and I was glad he did. I hate that bastard. I love my mother, but she’s not really anything like she was before the old man drove her nuts and she became a full time alcoholic. When my mother found out I was queer she kicked me out of the house. I was going any way but she kicked me out and I haven’t seen or heard from her since”

            “I’m sorry to hear it. You know the real problem for us Adrian? We’ve always been pro gay rights. We’ve always said people are people and it doesn’t matter. Then our daughter is gay and, well we really aren’t all right with it and that just makes us feel like hypocrites. Tammy won’t just tell us so we can deal with it and… what does it say about us as parents that she doesn’t feel like she can just tell us?”

            “It’s nothing to do with you, Willard. Tammy isn’t a total drama queen like most of the people I know, and she doesn’t want to make a scene, doesn’t see any reason to. Why don’t you let her off the hook?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Tell her you know and that it doesn’t matter to you even if it’s not exactly true right now.”

            Willard nodded. “So what’s wrong with her? She’s so down a dog couldn’t crawl under her belly. Is it girl trouble?”

            “Yeah,” Adrian said with a nod. Willard laughed.

            “You don’t use a lot of words do you, Adrian?”

            “Nope,” Adrian answered with a smile.

“Are you sure?” Adrian asked.

            “Yes,” Francis said.

            “She’s right. You look great. Quit worrying you couldn’t look really bad if you tried,” Milly said.

            “I don’t look like a pimp?”

            “No, you look like a very hot, up and coming artist,” Milly said. “You should let your wife dress you more often.”

            Adrian was wearing tight black jeans she could hardly bend over in, a red silk shirt, and a black leather suit coat cut jacket. “But it’s like a hundred degrees outside.”

            “Then take the jacket off till we get there,” Francis          said. “The building is air conditioned.”

            Milly walked over, sniffed at Adrian and smiled. Then just stood close to her sort of smelling her.

            “Milly,” Francis laughed, “what the hell are you doing?”

            “Oh I just caught a whiff of her when I walked in and,” Milly smiled, “I had forgotten how good she smells.”

            “Jesus Christ,” Adrian said and took her jacket off and put it on the back of a chair.

            “I know what you mean. It’s just some cheep brand of musk but when it hits her body chemistry,” Francis sighed and fanned herself. “Did you bring them?” she asked Milly.

            Milly held out a pair of long black and silver ear rings. “Are these the ones?”

            “Yeah, thanks,” Francis said and snagged them out of her hand and went into the bedroom to get dressed.

            “Where’s Tammy?” Milly asked.

            “She spent a couple of days with her parents and she’s coming in with them,” Adrian said. “Jan’s riding with us and Faye is taking her own car leaving straight from work.”

            Adrian tried sitting down but it hurt so she stood back up again. “Honey!” she yelled back towards the bed room. “I can’t wear these pants; they’re too fucking tight.”

            “They’ll stretch as you wear them!” Francis screamed back.

            Milly laughed.

            “What?” Adrian said with a laugh.

            “She bought the outfit for you; you’re wearing the fucking pants, so you might as well shut up.”

            “I won’t have to wear them if the crotch comes out of them,” Adrian said in a whisper, and then she started squatting and kicking and just trying to get the seams to bust which they didn’t. Milly was laughing riotously and Adrian was glad to hear Milly laughing like Milly again.

            “What the hell is going on out here?” Francis walked out of the hall wearing a short, sleeveless black dress with a modest V neckline. She’d pulled her hair back in a single pony tail, fastened with some silver band at the nape of her neck. She had one earring in and was putting the other on and Adrian was just staring at her thinking that the last painting she’d done of her was all wrong, too. She was even more beautiful now, so confident in her beauty, so magnificently woman. “What?” Francis asked her with a smile, no doubt seeing the stupid-assed look on her face.

            “You are stunning,” Adrian breathed when she found her voice.

            “I don’t even have my makeup on yet,” Francis said. She walked over got on her tip toes and kissed Adrian’s cheek. “You can mess me all up when we get home, so don’t even think about it now. Milly, can you come help me?”

            If Adrian lived to be a thousand she’d never understand why they all had to help each other dress. Or why Milly was wearing Faye’s belt and Faye was wearing Francis’ shoes and Francis was wearing Milly’s earrings. But it must be working because they all looked like a million bucks, and while stretching and squatting hadn’t ripped the seams out of her pants it had stretched them to a point where she could breathe. She sat down and waited for them to finish dressing.

“I wish I had a woman to look at me like that again,” Milly said with a sigh, following Francis into the bedroom.

            “Milly, strangers on the street look at you like that.”

            “That’s just lust; the way she looks at you is completely different. She’s mad in love with you.”

            “Are you ready to start dating again?” Francis asked carefully as she started pulling out shoes.

            “Not even close,” Milly said. “If I even think about another woman I feel like I’m cheating on Marcella. It wouldn’t be worth all the guilt just to get my rocks off. It’s sort of funny because my libido is definitely ready but my mind just isn’t there yet.”

            “Which shoes look better, the ones with the open toe or…?”

            “Open toe,” Milly said, making a face at the other ones Francis held up.

            “Blue eye shadow or magenta?”

            “Blue… Why would you even think about magenta?”

            “To match Adrian’s shirt.”

            Milly seemed to think about it. “Try the magenta and see what it looks like. Adrian said Tammy went to stay with her parents. Any special reason or did she just need to escape all the fucking dyke drama?”

            “Her parents were pretty bent that she didn’t move home for the summer, so she’s been going home occasionally just to make them happy. But I think she stayed gone three days this time to escape the drama.”

            “That’s what Faye thought, damn her and Jan. I half think they enjoy all this crap,” Milly said.

            “I feel sorry for them.”

            “Et tu Brutus?” Milly said in disbelief. “Hello! Tammy’s supposed to be your best friend. Isn’t anyone but me rooting for Tammy?”

            Francis sighed. “Jan and Faye love each other. Whatever other problems they have I’m sure of that, and people who love each other should be together, it doesn’t matter what any of us think. Faye doesn’t love Tammy. She’s never going to love Tammy, and Tammy is my best friend, and I think she deserves to have someone who will love her, not someone who’s just using her,” she smiled then, “for really hot sex.”

            “You do have a point there.”

            “Why is there no mirror in here?” Francis made an unhappy noise and walked into the bathroom to put on her make up. Milly stood in the doorway watching her.

            “You do know that all you’d have to do is suggest that there might be a mirror in your bed room and then Adrian would cover a wall in them for you.”

            Francis grinned wickedly. “That might be fun.”

            “Seriously she’d do anything for you; you need to learn to ask her,” Milly said.

            “Does my hair look OK like this, or do you think I should curl it or maybe put it up?”

            “Did you not see the look on Adrian’s face? I think your hair looks perfect, very classy. What are you worried about?”

            “I don’t want to embarrass Adrian.”

            “If you walked in with your dress tucked in your panties you wouldn’t embarrass Adrian. She thinks you fart butterflies and belch symphonies. Besides, Jan’s going to be there. We’d all have to work at being obnoxious to even get noticed.”

            “Joanna is coming.”

            “Yes.”

            “And you did tell her something about it so that she won’t be upset.”

            “Francis, would you relax? I’m not saying I won’t cry. It’s why I wore the water proof mascara. But I really want to see what Adrian has done and so does Joanna. Adrian loved Marcella and whatever she’s done I’m sure it’s a tribute to Marcella.”

But Milly still wasn’t prepared for the absolute scope of the piece. It was a clock face three stories tall—centered in the wall—but instead of numbers there were the stages of Marcella’s life. At one o‘clock her birth—Joanna holding her infant daughter. At two a young Marcella watches holding her mother’s hand as Joanna holds her infant son in her arms looking helpless as her father is screaming at them and stomping towards a car. Three was Marcella playing soccer. At four was a teenager walking with friends from school. At five alone at the prom wearing a tux looking across the room at a pretty girl. At six she was waiting tables at Rhonda’s. At seven sitting across the desk in a recruiter's office. At eight was a picture of she and Marcella walking hand in hand down B Street. At nine was Marcella saying good bye to Stella, Jan, Adrian, Joanna, and Milly at the airport, and Marcella was holding her while she cried. It was the last time she’d seen Marcella, the last time she’d held her, and she remembered it like it was yesterday. At ten Marcella was in uniform with her platoon in Iraq. At eleven she was wounded and at twelve there was a flag-draped coffin. The hands were set at four and ten. The day Marcella had died, April 10^th.

            Under it in letters just big enough to read across the room it said, "It’s time."

            “What do you think?” Adrian asked carefully at her shoulder.

            “I think you’re a fucking genius. I think you found a way to make Marcella’s death less meaningless.” Milly sniffled, saw Joanna across the room and practically ran to be with her.

Beside her Adrian seemed to breathe a huge sigh of relief then said, “I don’t give a good fuck if anyone else likes it or not. I was just so afraid she wouldn’t get it.”

            “How could anyone not get it?” Jan said from behind them. She started crying, patting Adrian’s back. “It’s fucking beautiful, man.” She left and went off to the bathroom.

            Francis looked around her. The last time she’d been here the only thing here had been Adrian’s equipment and the scaffolding. Now the place was perfectly cleaned and decorated with furniture and plants. And they’d brought in tables and chairs and a fancy buffet spread. Waiters were running in every direction with drinks and appetizers. There was an open bar and hundreds of people all dressed to the nines were sitting at the tables or milling around talking, mostly, she imagined about the painting. A five piece string quartet was playing.

On Adrian’s arm Francis absolutely felt like the belle of the ball.

            “Honey,” Francis whispered, turning her head towards Adrian. “I’d never seen it without the scaffolding. It’s… It’s the best thing you’ve ever done.”

            “You know I wanted to call it ‘Time to give gay people rights and get us out of this fucking war’ but I thought that sounded a tad gauche,” Adrian said with a smile. Francis laughed and gripped her hand tighter.

“Isn’t that Francis and Adrian?” her mother asked.

            “It sure is. My God don’t they clean up nice?” her father said. “The artist… I might have expected she’d show up fashionably late.”

            “Dad, you told her 7:30. You told her the wrong time on purpose. Hell, I would have been late if I hadn’t been with you,” Tammy said.

            Her father clicked his tongue, “Squeeze, Tammy, squeeze,” he said, and Tammy laughed, shaking her head. He cleared his throat and tapped his glass with a fork and all eyes were suddenly on him. “Attention. I see the artist has just arrived with her lovely partner.” Before he could say anything else the crowd started clapping. When it died down he continued. “Now I’ve opened a lot of buildings across our great state but this is the first time that I’ve felt I wasn’t just opening a building but unveiling a work of art. This mural, It’s Time, speaks to my heart, and I’m sure it speaks to a lot of yours as well. And now I want you to give a big hand—not that half-assed one you did before—to the artist, Ms. Adrian Bar. Adrian, could you come on up here?” The crowd started clapping, and Tammy could see Francis pushing Adrian forward. Then Adrian just walked up to stand beside her dad, and anyone who was sitting down stood up. When the noise died down Adrian cleared her throat.

            “Thank you very much, and thank you, Willard, for this opportunity. I needed a wall; you got me a wall. I have nothing to say really, I think the painting speaks for itself.” She shook Willard’s hand, embraced Tammy, and then went back to find Francis who had been joined by Milly, Jan, and Joanna.

            The party was going again. Tammy looked around but didn’t see Faye anywhere.

            “Who you looking for?” her dad asked curiously.

            “No one, a friend,” Tammy said.

            “Which one is Milly again?” her father asked.

            “You met her before, Dad, she showed you her mural.” He just shrugged. “She’s the woman standing over there by Francis, with hair even blacker than Adrian’s and the body that just won’t stop…” And then she realized what she had said and that she was talking to her dad “…just won’t stop being sad all the time since Marcella was killed.”

            Her father shook his head as if what she’d just said made perfect sense, and she sighed with relief.

            “I’d like to meet these friends of yours,” he said, but then luckily one of his friends walked up.

            “This building is great, Willard, but that painting. What did it cost you?”

            “Ah, Gene, you know what they say. If you have to ask you probably can’t afford it.”

            Tammy snuck away to go be with her friends.

            She took a glass of champagne from a waiter as he passed and then looked to be sure her mother didn’t see her. She felt like she needed a little strength for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which was that she wasn’t sure that Faye hadn’t decided to end things while she was gone. They’d talked on the phone, but Faye had seemed distant, even cold. So she might not have a girlfriend anymore, and she wasn’t at all sure how she felt about that one way or the other.

            “Where’s Faye?” Tammy asked Adrian as she walked up to them.

            “She just called. She’s running a little behind. I could have sworn your dad said 7:30,” Adrian said.

            “He did. He’s got it in his head that artists should be late so they can make an entrance.”

            “And did we?” Adrian asked with a smile.

            “Dad seemed pleased,” Tammy said. She looked at Milly who was wearing a short, green and blue print dress with a plunging neckline and no actual back. “You look great, Milly. You, too, Francis.”

            “Thanks,” Milly and Francis said.

Jan laughed. “What about me, bud?”

“Like a butch with a chip on her shoulder bigger than her body,” Adrian answered with a smile.

“Dude, harsh,” Jan said, but they all laughed.

 Finally Faye walked in, and when Tammy saw Jan start to go to meet her like it was her place to do so, Tammy just wanted to smack the smug little bitch. She walked quickly around Jan, shooting her a look and went to meet Faye at the door.

            “I was getting worried,” she said when she was standing in front of Faye.

            “I forgot my shoes—well Francis’s shoes—at home and had to go to the house,” Faye said. She smiled. “You look good in a tux.”

            “I missed you,” Tammy whispered.

            “I missed you, too.”

            “Did you?” Tammy asked in an accusing tone.

            “Of course I did,” Faye sighed. “I wasn’t fucking around with Jan, Tammy. I told you I wouldn’t do that to you.”

            Tammy nodded silently. They’d finally had the fight they probably should have had months ago right before she’d gone to her parents house, and she’d left not really knowing what to expect when she came back. Faye had admitted that she still had feelings for Jan, said she didn’t know what was going to happen but that she also really cared for Tammy and would never do anything to purposely hurt her. Her words had echoed through Tammy’s head for the last three days. “If I didn’t care about you at all, Tammy, like you keep saying,” because when they’d been fighting Tammy had accused her of just that over and over again, “then I’d just break up with you right now. But I do care. I want you. I want what we have to work.”

            But what did they have? Tammy didn’t know. They were good friends but the truth was they’d been better friends and in some ways closer before they started screwing. They had an extremely good sex life but well that was what was forcing them into trying to be a couple and once they actually started to try to be a couple… well that was when Jan decided she just had to have Faye back… but that wasn’t fair either because she’d known long before then that Jan wanted Faye back.

            Jan wasn’t the problem; Jan never lied or tried to hide what she wanted. Faye was the problem because she wouldn’t just make up her mind.

            “I missed you, Tammy; can’t we just try to have a good time and not dwell on it tonight please?” Faye said with a sigh. She tried to take Tammy’s hand, but Tammy pulled it away looking quickly around. “Oh Jesus Christ, Tammy.”

            “My parents and all their business associates and friends are here,” Tammy whispered back.

            “But I… I need to hold you, Tammy. I need you.” Faye said in that way that made anything else she was doing or saying acceptable.

            “Come on Faye, did you even look at Adrian’s painting?”

            Faye seemed to actually look at it then, and then Tammy could see tears glistening in her eyes and Tammy really did just want to hold her. “It’s wonderful, where’s Adrian?”

            “Over here. Come on,” Tammy led her through the crowd to where Adrian was still standing with Francis and the rest of their friends, but had been joined by some of the biggest movers and shakers in town, all of whom were gushing about the painting.

            Faye waited for a break in the conversation and then she hugged Adrian’s neck. Adrian hugged her back. “It’s beautiful, Adrian.”

            “Thanks Faye,” Adrian said.

            The three men all started checking Faye out and Tammy was already in an ass kicking mood so this just got on her last nerve. It was true that Faye looked hotter than hell dressed in a dark blue short shift dress and black stilettos her curly red hair styled to best show off her long neck and statuesque features, that didn’t mean these old farts had to be trying to push her skirt up a few inches further by sheer will. She looked quickly to see what Jan was doing, and as she might have guessed Jan was doing the same thing except she didn’t even have the good taste to try to hide her lust—and she knew what was underneath Faye’s clothes. Then she saw Milly slap Jan in the shoulder. Jan rubbed at her shoulder and grumbled something at Milly who smiled at Tammy and winked. Tammy smiled back.

            Faye released Adrian and then the man standing in the middle, Kent Russell, was saying. “But now let’s quit looking at the piece as just a work of art. Is the lobby of an office building which will be used by hundreds of different people and entered by thousands, really the place for such a provocative piece of work?”

            Adrian shrugged and said, “I don’t care.”

Milly, as if she was interpreting for Adrian said, “What’s the good of doing something provocative if no one sees it? Why shout a message into an empty room or, almost as pointless, to a bunch of people who already agree with you? This piece is meant to stimulate the senses and provoke a response, and it succeeds to a degree I find inconceivable.”

Faye was right; Milly could sure talk pretty.

            “Stuffy, horney old farts,” Tammy said, leaning down and whispering in Faye’s ear. “They’re just talking shit to have an excuse to stand here and look at the three hottest women in the building.”

            Faye smiled at her. “You could have your arm around one of those hot women right now if you weren’t living in your tiny, stifling little closet in your very butch suit.”

            Tammy laughed, shaking her head. “I am getting a little tired of the smell of moth balls.”

Adrian was standing with her arm around Francis, and she supposed she should be a nervous wreck but she just wasn’t because the piece was magnificent and she knew it, so even if someone came up and told her the piece sucked she’d know they just had bad taste. Cocky, that was what she felt; she was like Jan on stage. Just sure that no one could do what she’d done and that if they could they couldn’t do it any better.

            “Adrian!” Willard called from across the room.

            “If you’ll excuse me,” Adrian said, took Francis’ hand and started leading her across the room to where Willard was.

“You don’t have to take me with you, baby,” Francis said.
“Do you not want to go with me?” Adrian asked with a pout.

“Sure I do, but I could stay with our friends, too. These people don’t want to talk to me; they want to talk to you,” Francis said.

            “Haven’t you guessed yet? I don’t care what they want.”

            Francis laughed, and then they were standing in front of Willard and Katie and an older man probably in his sixties. “Adrian, I want you to meet an old friend of mine, Bill Parker.”

            Adrian shook hands with the man. “Hello.” The guy’s grip was firm and confident. His smile genuine. He looked at Francis and smiled.

            “You’ve certainly grown into a beautiful young woman, Francis,” he said.

            “Thanks Bill,” she said, so Adrian guessed she knew him.

            “So, Adrian, what does something like that go for?”

            Behind him Willard was mouthing numbers, and it took her a second to realize what he was saying. When she did she gave him a startled look, and he held up his hand open and then squeezed it shut.

            Adrian cleared her throat and said, “Four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

            Bill laughed turned and shoved Willard in the shoulder. She was sure he knew Willard had coached her, and then he said, “Willard you crook. Do you have a card Adrian?”
            “Ah…”

            Before she could answer, Willard was pushing a stack of cards into her hand. “Here, kid, I almost forgot you left these here. The clean up crew found them.” They were cards with her name, address, and phone number printed on them. In larger print it just said Artist. She’d never had any cards. This guy—as uncle Harry would have said—was so full of shit his back teeth were brown. She handed one of the cards to Bill and stuck the rest into her shirt pocket.

            “Thanks, Willard.”

            “We’re building a new cardiovascular wing on the hospital. There’s this blank wall as you walk in and they’ve been talking about doing one of those generic brass wall plaque things that masquerade as art. I’ve been trying to talk them into buying a large painting, something in nice earth tones. Do you ever just do, well more commercial pieces?”

            “I usually just ask people what makes them feel best, what colors they like, stuff like that, and then I paint something according to what they told me,” Adrian said. “But I only paint walls.”

            “She doesn’t like what she’s painting to move,” Francis explained.

            “A mural would be perfect for a hospital,” Willard said. “After all it won’t collect dust.”

            “We’ll definitely talk,” Bill said, and stuck her card in his pocket.

            “Adrian, can I talk to you alone for a minute?” Willard asked. Adrian nodded and followed him.

            As soon as they were far enough away Adrian said in an excited whisper, “What are you doing to me? I’m a shitty liar.”

            Willard laughed. “I’d say so. So is it the red head?” he nodded his head towards where Tammy was standing talking to Faye.

            “Yes,” Adrian said. “Faye.”

            “I met her, castle mural, works as a nurse?”

            “That’s right.”

            “Nice gal,” he smiled at Adrian, “built like a brick shit house.”

            “Did you talk to Tammy?”

            “Not yet… Don’t look at me like that. I’m working up to it. I told Katie and she’s working on being all right with it.” He looked over to where Bill had gone and Francis was talking to Katie. “I think it’s helped her to see you and Francis so happy together. Makes her more confident that Tammy can be happy, too… So.” His attention went back to Tammy and Faye. “What’s the problem there?”

            “Willard I don’t think…”

            “Come on, Adrian, throw the old man a bone.”

            “Thought you said you didn’t feel like an old man,” Adrian said with a sly smile.

            “They seem happy enough now, but for three days Tammy’s done nothing but just sort of look like she’s waiting for a hammer to hit her in the head, and we just could not snap her out of it.”

            “It’s complicated, Willard, why don’t you ask Tammy when you tell her you know?” Adrian said.

            “A hint?” Willard pleaded.

            “I’m not going to run to Tammy and tell her that you know she’s queer and can’t think of a way to talk to her about it, and I’m not going to stand here and tell you Faye and Tammy’s business,” Adrian said with a smile.

            Willard nodded. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Faye and Tammy started walking back towards some of the offices. “I think I’m going to go get to know this girl better.” He started to walk away and Adrian grabbed his arm.

“Dude, I wouldn’t follow them right now.” They watched as Tammy, no doubt thinking she was out of sight of everyone, opened an office door walked in reached out and drug Faye in with her.

“Oh,” Willard said.

            “Yeah,” Adrian said with a smile she shrugged and went off to get Francis.

Tammy had locked the door behind them. She grabbed Faye, leaned down and started kissing her and Faye kissed her back eagerly. The office was completely empty. Tammy shucked her jacket then shoved Faye against a wall. She grabbed one of Faye’s hands in each of her own and pinned them to the wall above Faye’s head. Then she kissed her harder, deeper, rubbing her body against Faye’s until Faye was moving against her, then she let go of Faye’s hands and moved her hands to caress Fays’ breasts through her dress. She moved her lips to Faye’s neck.

            Faye’s hands had untucked her shirt and her hands kneaded the flesh of Tammy’s waist.

            “Did you miss me?” Tammy asked in a husky voice against Faye’s ear.

            “Yes,” Faye said in a gasp.

            Tammy reached under Faye’s skirt, weaved her fingers through the waist of Faye’s underwear, and then her fingers were caressing her. She kissed Faye on the mouth mostly to keep her from screaming. She worked Faye’s clit till she was burning hot and then she slammed her thumb into her pussy as far as it would go. She worked her hips against Fay’s body hard, being sure that her thumb stroked Faye’s clit with each back stroke till Faye was coming hard and she just had to keep kissing her to keep her from screaming loud enough to be heard over the party in the main lobby. Tammy removed her hand from under Faye’s dress and wrapped her arms around her ass under her dress. She quit kissing her.

            “We’ll finish this later,” Tammy said with a smile.

            “Promise?” Faye said with a wicked grin. Then she cringed, took her thumb and wiped at Tammy’s face. “I got lipstick all over you. Let me get my purse; I’ve got a napkin.”

            Tammy had no idea where Faye’s purse was. They finally found it under Tammy’s jacket. Faye wiped her own face and then she wiped Tammy’s. She smiled at her and kissed her gently on the lips. “You just wait till I get you home lover, I will turn you every way but loose.”

Jan watched with nothing near amusement as Tammy and Faye walked out of the room she’d seen them walk into twenty minutes earlier, looking disheveled and with that freshly fucked look in their eyes.

            “You know if you’d leave them alone they might just make it,” Milly said in her ear.

            Jan ignored her just watching Faye. They were obviously heading for the bathroom. Faye was just going in when she turned, looked in Jan’s direction, and their eyes met.

            Milly took Jan’s arm and shook her. “Jan, seriously, just leave them… leave Faye alone.”

            “I tried,” Jan said. “I tried to just go on. You know I did. I can’t.”

            “Jan, did it ever occur to you that maybe this is just another symptom of your addictive behavior? That you’re treating Faye like some sort of drug, like you’re addicted to her?”

            “Very insightful and… Fuck you Milly!” Jan said. Then she actually thought about it a minute. “Isn’t that all love really is, an addiction to another person? I’m supposed to be with her; she’s supposed to be with me. Come on, Tammy and Faye, was there ever really one day that you looked at them and said, ‘Oh they so work! They are so meant for each other.’ No. I know you think it makes me the worst possible prick because I keep going after Faye, and I know it’s not fair to Tammy, and I like Tammy. But right now she’s just one of the things standing between me and Faye, and if I have to knock her down to get to Faye I’m going to do it. Does that make me a fucking mad woman? Probably. Does it mean I’m the world’s biggest heel? Maybe. But I love Faye. I have never loved anyone but Faye, and I’m not going to quit trying to get her back until I’m sure there isn’t any chance of that. You can’t look me in the eye right now and tell me that you don’t think that somewhere Faye still loves me, too, that I don’t have a chance because you know I do.”

            “I really hate all this shit that you keep making, Jan,” Milly said.

            “She was mine first,” Jan hissed out.

            “She’s not a toy, Jan, and you can’t just give her away and then take her back again when you want her.” Milly was obviously mad at her and probably had been for months.

            “I’m surprised you don’t get a nose bleed from being way up there on your high horse, Milly,” Jan said hotly. “You aren’t exactly the fucking angel you pretend to be.”

            “What the hell does that mean?”

            “Oh come on. I’ve seen how you look at Tammy, and Marcella wasn’t in the ground a week and you jumped on Adrian and begged her to fuck you.”

            Milly slapped her hard enough to jerk her whole head, and people all around them turned to look. Jan was pretty sure Milly had loosened one of her teeth, what was more she didn’t look in the least bit repentant. Jan put a finger to her mouth and pulled it away surprised there was no blood. The whole room was quiet. Jan laughed loudly and said, “Sorry, folks, just practicing for a play.”

            They all seemed to go back about their business.

            Milly glared at her, and Jan sighed, “I’m sorry, Milly.”

            “You know what your real problem is Jan?” Milly said in an angry whisper with tears in her eyes, “you never think about anyone but yourself. You really think you’re the only person in the world who knows what pain is. You don’t have a fucking clue. You hurt Faye, and you’re not going to be happy till you break she and Tammy up, and then once you have her, what then?”

            “Then I’m going to treat her the way I should have in the first place,” Jan said gently. She tasted blood in her mouth, so either Milly had loosened one of her teeth or her mouth was cut on the inside. “Maybe I deserve for Faye and everyone else to think I’m nothing but a fucking animal, but you know what? I was suicidal and now I’m not. I was a cutter and now I’m not. I was a drug addict and now I’m not. And maybe, just maybe, I was a cheater and now I’m not.”

            She stomped off towards the bathroom.  Jan walked in and found Faye at a mirror reapplying her make up. There was a door at the back of the room that opened to a large room filed with toilets no doubt. “You look great tonight, Faye.”

            “Thanks,” she said with an undertone of go away.

            Jan walked up to the sink and looked in the same mirror. Milly’s hand print was predominant on the left side of her face. Faye smiled but said nothing. Jan splashed water in her mouth and spit out the bloody contents. Then she splashed water in her face and dried it on some paper towels. She stuck her finger in her mouth and moved it around. There was a small cut on the inside of her cheek. She took her finger out of her mouth and said to Faye, “Aren’t you even going to ask?”

            “You act like it’s a big deal for you to say the wrong thing to the wrong girl and get your face slapped,” Faye said with a smile.

            Jan figured why not make it two for two? They were alone in this room. She walked up to Faye’s shoulder. “Seventy-eight days and fourteen hours, Faye. You know that I ought to be the one you’re sneaking into an empty room in the big-assed middle of a party to do it with. You know I ought to be the one you have to repair your make up from and it ought to be my fault your panties are wet.” Faye elbowed her in the ribs hard enough to force the air out of her lungs. “Fuck!” Jan exclaimed, making a mental note not to stand so close to girls when she was saying shit that might piss them off.

            “Listen here nut job,” Faye said, turning to face her, but she didn’t get to say anything else.          Tammy came striding in from the other room. Jan cringed. She had forgotten all about Tammy.

            Then Tammy did something Jan hadn’t really thought she had in her. She grabbed Jan by the front of her vest in both hands, mostly carried her across the room, and slammed her against the wall then hissed out, “I’ve had just about enough of playing everyone’s bitch.” And she just held Jan against the wall as if trying to decide whether to kill her or not. “She’s my girl friend. Mine!”

            “Tammy, calm down,” Faye said, her hand on Tammy’s shoulder.

            “Leave her the fuck alone,” Tammy ordered Jan.

            This close and this mad Tammy was really scary, so Jan guessed it proved she was as crazy as everyone said because she said, “You can beat my ass, Tammy. I wouldn’t blame you if you did, but I’m not going to give up.”

            It was pretty obvious from the look in Tammy’s eyes that she wanted to beat her down. “She may be your girlfriend but she’s my woman, and you knew damn good and well how I felt about her when you started fucking her so I don’t feel guilty.” She ignored Tammy, and then looking at Faye, “I don’t, Faye.”

            Tammy actually lifted her off the floor then, and Jan cringed thinking she was about to be totally trashed.

            “Tammy please,” Faye said. “Please, Tammy, what is hurting her going to prove?”

            Tammy growled at Jan and dropped her. Tammy grabbed Faye’s hand and pulled her out of the bathroom, apparently in that moment not worried at all about her in the closet status.

            Jan took a deep breath and let it out, that was a close one.

They had just finally gotten some food and sat down to eat when across the room Milly slapped Jan.

            “Ignore them,” Adrian said.

            “But Adrian…”

            “Ignore them, Franny. It’s all coming to a head that’s all,” Adrian said.

            “But Milly just slapped Jan.”

            “And Milly’s sober, so I guarantee Jan asked for it. Just ignore our friends who are fucking in empty rooms and fighting in front of God and everyone and try to enjoy ourselves,” Adrian said. A few seconds later Jan was stomping towards the bathroom and Milly was at their table.

            “Do you know what Jan just said to me?”

            “No what?” Francis asked.

            “Never mind. I’ve just… that girl is… Well, she’s even more psycho than normal,” Milly said.

            “Honey, why don’t you go get something to eat, get some champagne and come sit with us?” Adrian said. Milly nodded and walked off towards the buffet. “I love them all, and I can’t wait to leave them all behind and go to the coast tomorrow just you and me and none of them.”

            Francis couldn’t agree more. They’d hardly seen each other the whole time Adrian had been painting the mural and she was also really tired of the whole love triangle thing. Now they were in a room full of people who all wanted to talk to Adrian and either pick her brain and ask her questions about It’s Time or they wanted to get contact information. Francis was having a good time but she really just wanted to have Adrian all to herself and couldn’t wait to just get on the bike and go in the morning. Go someplace where no one could call about their sink backing up and they wouldn’t have to deal with getting beer orders in and bills paid out. Running the Caf� had been harder for her than she’d let Adrian know.

            She looked at Adrian and her heart beat faster; she just looked so empowered tonight. She was always beautiful, but tonight she just shone with a whole new confidence. Francis smiled at her.

            “What?” Adrian asked.

            “You’re beautiful,” she said, and was surprised when Adrian looked almost embarrassed.

            Milly set her plate down and then sat down with them.

            “Where’s Joanna?” Adrian asked Milly.

            “She had something else to do tonight; she just really wanted to see the painting. Also she got here at the opening of the reception so she’d already eaten when we got here.” Milly seemed to have calmed down.

            Francis watched as Tammy pulled Faye out of the bathroom. She looked as mad as Francis had ever seen her look. Adrian must have seen Francis start to get up because she grabbed her arm. “Ignore them baby.”

            “So, where you guys going?” Milly asked.

            Francis started to tell her and Adrian slapped a hand over her mouth. “We aren’t telling anyone.”

Milly nodded, looked over at where Faye and Tammy were obviously having a heated exchange and said, “That’s probably best, but don’t think I’m baby-sitting while you’re away. I’m just going to make myself scarce. Maybe go stay with Joanna for a couple of days. I’m so mad at Jan I could kill her.”

            “What did she say?” Francis asked.

            “The sort of thing only Jan would say because she was mad. You know look for and find the line then jump up and down on it.”

            “She has no filter,” Adrian explained with a sigh.

            A middle aged woman wearing a long silver gown walked over to them and hugged Adrian. “Hello Adrian, so good to see you.” she said.

            “Hello,” Adrian said when the woman released her, and it was obvious that she didn’t recognize the woman. Then Francis knew she did because Adrian smiled, “Hally, haven’t seen you in ages.”

            “I got married, just waiting for the old fuck to kick off so I can get all his money and go find me some sweet young thing to spend it on. What about you?”

            “Hally this is my wife, Francis. Francis, this is Hally.” Hally just nodded at her like she was no more important than blanket lint. Hally looked from Adrian to the painting and back again.

            “I had no idea you had talents that extended past the bedroom, Adrian.” She smiled at Francis in a way that made Francis’s skin crawl and said, “You’re a lucky girl.”

            “I’m aware of that.” Francis said guardedly.

             “It was nice seeing you. Better go get my hubby and wheel him home.” Hally walked away and Francis was glad.

            “Bitch,” she muttered, and Adrian laughed and kissed her cheek.

            Then Jan walked out of the bathroom looking considerably more ruffled then Milly slapping her would have done, and Adrian got up.

            “I thought you said to ignore them,” Francis said.

            Adrian smiled at her. “No, I told you to ignore them. I’ll be back in a minute.”

            To Francis’s amazement, Adrian headed not for Jan but Faye and Tammy.

            Milly giggled. “Good. Tammy kicked Jan’s ass. It was about time.”

            “Milly…”

            “What? Come on, Jan needs a good kick in the pants. She’s acting like an ass,” Milly said. “Of course it’s mostly Faye’s fault because she could put an end to it if she just would.” Francis nodded, watching Adrian as she walked across the room. “What are you worried about?”

            Francis sighed and looked at Milly. “I just would have liked for Adrian to be able to enjoy tonight without all their shit. You’d think they could all just behave themselves for this one night.”

            Milly nodded. “I’m sorry Francis, I’m as much to blame as they are. I shouldn’t have smacked Jan.”

            Francis shrugged and smiled then said, “I can’t wait to go someplace where every woman I run into hasn’t slept with Adrian. I try not to be jealous because I just hate feeling that way and most of the time I just forget that she’s slept with every woman on B Street and you, and Jan, and Faye…”

            “Honey, you slept with Faye, too.”

            “And you see? I don’t even think about that. I was with, oh I don’t know, dozens of people both sexes, and I never think about any of them. It’s really like it was someone else.”

            “And don’t you think it’s the same for Adrian?” Milly asked. “When you fall in love with someone… I don’t know it just sort of wipes the slate clean. Most of the losers on B Street will never know what that’s like, but you and Adrian do.” Her eyes went to the painting. “I do.” She sniffed and wiped a tear off her check.

            Katie and Willard walked over and sat down. “How you girls doing?” Willard asked.

            “Great,” Milly said, forcing a smile. Francis patted her hand.

            “It’s a little overwhelming but I’m having a great time. Thank you, Dad,” Francis said.

            He smiled. “Honey why you thanking me? Let me tell you something. We got here tonight this building was only half full. Now it’s full and you know why? Because of that painting. That girl of yours she’s a keeper, you treat her right and she’s going to take good care of you.”

            Francis nodded.

            “You girls look amazing all of you,” Katie said, and her eyes went over to where Adrian was talking to Tammy and Faye, so Francis was pretty sure that Katie knew Tammy was with Faye. Maybe even knew Tammy and Faye had left their DNA all over one of the new offices. Francis smiled a secret smile bet those two morons think they’re the first ones to get a little in this building but Adrian and I beat them to it.

            “Thanks,” Francis said.

            “I’m actually feeling a little underdressed,” Milly said.

            “Nonsense, if you’ve got it flaunt it,” Katie said. “I used to dress the same way when I was your age. I still would if my breasts would stay where they belong without a bra.”

            Francis laughed. She had forgotten how funny Katie could be. She often got overshadowed by her much more charismatic husband; if it bothered her at all she didn’t seem to show it. Of course it was funnier to hear Milly, who would happily parade down Main Street naked say she felt underdressed.

            “So you do theater?” Willard said.

            “What?” Milly said with a laugh.

            “When we first met you, you said you had an early show?” Katie reminded.

            “Oh,” Milly said with a smile and nodded. “I dance.”

            “We’d love to come to one of your shows sometime.”

            Milly just nodded, knowing most people didn’t follow up on things like that.

            “Francis,” Katie said, looking at her beaming. “You look like a real lady tonight. I’m very proud of you.”

            “Thanks, Mom,” Francis said, feeling a little weepy.

            “Katie!” someone called out.

            “I’ll be back.” She patted Willard’s arm and went off to talk to some friend.

            Willard looked at Francis. “So, honey, I couldn’t break Adrian. What’s with Tammy and her woman?” You could have knocked Francis over with one blow. Willard laughed and said, “Honey close your mouth it’s unattractive. Now what’s going on?”

            “That fucking head case Jan Shears,” Milly mumbled.

            “Milly!” Francis said gaping at her in disbelief.

            “Dad’s right, honey, don’t just sit there with your jaw gaping,” Milly said, and then she pointed at Jan. “See that chick in the tank and leather vest with like forty tattoos?”

            “The one that looks like a rock star?”

            “Yes that one. Well that’s Faye’s ex…” and then Milly proceeded to tell him the whole sordid story, moving her legs to keep Francis from kicking her under the table.

            “Wow! That is a mess,” Willard said when she had finished.

            “And Tammy’s not into the whole drama thing and she doesn’t deserve it,” Milly said. “Excuse me, I have to go to the little girl’s room.” Milly got up and left.

            “What about her?” Willard said when Milly was out of earshot. Still Francis had no idea who he was talking about.

            “Who?”

            “The widow… Milly.”

            “What about her?”

            “Well it seems to me like she’s got a little crush on my girl. She’s a lovely girl. Seems to have a good head on her shoulders, much more Tammy’s type. Don’t you think?”

            “Dad,” Francis laughed, “Milly’s not ready to go on with anyone right now, and don’t you think the drama is bad enough without adding poor Milly into the mix?”

            “I think that girl could make anyone forget any amount of troubles they might have,” Willard said with a shrug.

            “So have you talked to Tammy, told her you know?” Francis asked.

            “No. I figured I’d wait till I had her out to sea and she couldn’t run off from me.”

            “Good plan.”

A middle-aged man stopped Adrian on her way to talk to Tammy and Faye and told her how much he liked the painting. She thanked him, gave him a card, and walked up to Tammy and Faye in time to hear Tammy say in a hiss, “You care more about her than you do me or you would have let me kick her ass.”

            “What would that have proved?” Faye whispered back in a voice that was supposed to be calming but really wasn’t.

            “Nothing,” Adrian said walking up to them. “It just would have made her feel better. What the hell happened?”

            Tammy told her, her voice straining to whisper what she wanted to be screaming.

            “I’ll get rid of Jan,” Adrian said with a sigh.

            “What?” Faye asked.

            “Calm down. I’m not going to rub her out, just going to ask her to go home.”

            “Thanks,” Tammy said.

            Adrian nodded left them and walked up to Jan.

            “You’re going to take her side,” Jan said, reading the expression on her face.

            “Jan… this is Tammy’s parent’s party, their building. You picked a hell of a time to make yet another play for Faye. This night is important to me, Jan. I want people to be focused on my art, not my friends little melt downs all over the place. First you pick a fight with Milly and then with Faye and Tammy and I have no idea how you think this crazy shit is going to send Faye right back into your arms, but it’s obviously not working, dude. You’re damn lucky that Faye didn’t let Tammy just stomp your ass.”

            “I didn’t start it, Adrian. First Tammy’s dragging Faye off to have sex with her. That’s just rubbing my face in it, and then Milly’s preaching at me again and…”

            “Dude, Faye isn’t your girlfriend anymore.”

            “But she’s supposed to be,” Jan said miserably.

            “I love you Jan, but… I need you to go home. I want to have my moment. I don’t want to have to worry about you. Maybe in your twisted little head you didn’t start it, but you’ve managed to piss off Milly and Faye and Tammy, and at least Milly and Tammy really need to be here.”

            “Did I piss you off?”

            “No, but in all honesty I’m a little hurt because you’re my best friend and I wanted you here because it’s a big night for me and… you didn’t care more about me than you did your fucked up quest, Jan. You didn’t even stop to think how your actions were going to affect me. I need to be talking to people who want to talk to me, taking their names and numbers, giving them mine. I want to be spending this night with Francis. I mean fucking look at her; she looks like a million bucks. I don’t want to have to deal with your ugly ass; I want to be with her.”

            “I’m sorry, man. Even if they deserve my shit you don’t.” Jan took a deep breath let it out then hugged Adrian. Adrian returned the hug, patting her back. “I’ll go home. I’m really sorry, Adrian.”

            “It’s all right. I know you’re hurting. Don’t do anything stupid.”

            “I promise I won’t. I’ll just go home, stare at the ceiling and try to find some balance. You’re right, you’re all right, I’m way the fuck out of control. I love you, Adrian.”

            “I love you too, be careful,” Adrian said and released her.

            “Could you tell Milly and Faye and Tammy that I’m sorry, too?”

            “Yeah.” Adrian watched her walk away with her shoulders slumped. “What a fucking mess.” She turned to go talk to Tammy and Faye and found them at her table with Milly and Francis. She went back to her table and sat down.

            “Jan’s going home. She said to tell everyone she’s sorry,” Adrian said. “Now let’s not talk about anything but my brilliance the rest of the evening.”

When Jan got home it was 9:00. She looked at the clock on her stove, sighed, kicked her shoes off so they landed across the room—one of them in her plant which was once again dead. She couldn’t keep plants alive. She either overwatered them or underwatered them and they always died. Then she just threw them out and bought new ones. If she didn’t have to have three plants she just wouldn’t even try. What did that say about her, that she couldn’t even keep a fucking plant alive?

 Her face stung and her ribs burned and her vest was torn, but surprisingly Tammy was the only one who hadn’t actually hurt her.

            Jan sat in her recliner, reared back, and ran her hands down her face.

            “Quit talking in my head!” she screamed at the walls. “She’s not mine. I’m not going to have her. I’m just going to lose all my friends trying.”

            She cried because she couldn’t think of anything else constructive to do. “I never should have said that to Milly, or said what I said to Faye for that matter. What the fuck’s wrong with me?” Her phone was biting into her leg, so she reached in her pocket to get rid of it. When it was in her hand it flipped open, and she was sure she didn’t open it herself. “Quit it, man, I’m enough of a head case dammit!”

            But even as she said it she found herself looking for her number in her file and when she found it she hit the button.

            “Jan?” Stella’s voice asked.

            “Yes,” Jan cried.

            “What’s wrong baby?” Stella asked, and then Jan just told her everything and Stella of course knew just what to say to make her feel better.

As Milly was leaving the event with Adrian and Francis she turned to take one last look at Marcella. Suddenly for the first time since Marcella’s death she wanted to write. She knew exactly what she wanted to write, what she had to write, just like Adrian had known she had to paint the mural.

            Francis and Adrian were just talking to each other, obviously excited about their trip, and she couldn’t even really hear them because in her mind the words were flowing and she couldn’t wait to get home to her computer.

            She hadn’t written a word since Marcella died. She wanted to because writing usually helped her get through things. It was like therapy for her. But she just couldn’t. It was like nothing mattered and what was the point of anything? then slowly she’d started to feel like she could actually breathe again, and then she’d gotten that rejection letter and then she really didn’t feel like she had anything to say that anyone wanted to hear, and now… She wanted to write something just because she wanted to write it.

            When they got to the apartment house and walked in Adrian asked her, “You all right, Milly?”

            “Better than all right.” Milly walked up got on her tip toes and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Adrian, thank you so much.”

            “For what?”

            “You know.” She hugged Francis, walked down the hall, and then started up the stairs. Jan was sitting on the top step to her landing, obviously waiting for her. Milly smiled at her. “You’re an asshole.”

            “I know. I’m sorry, Milly,” she said. “I don’t care how mad I got I never should have said that.”

            “You’re right. You shouldn’t have.” Milly walked the rest of the way up and sat down beside Jan, putting her arm around her shoulders suddenly no longer mad at her. “I still love you, nut job.”

            “Thanks Milly. Do you… never mind.”

            “What?”

            “Do you ever hear her Milly?”
            Milly sighed. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t know what she was talking about.             “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we’re just both crazy, does it?”

            “Probably just me,” Jan said with a smile.

            Milly stood up. “I have to go. I actually feel like writing and Ralph misses me when I’m gone so long.”

            “Thanks Milly,” Jan said standing up.

            “You know… Marcella loved you so much that no matter how mad I get at your warped little ass, as long as you don’t run out of your sorrys I’m not going to run out of your forgivens. But seriously, Jan, what you’re doing isn’t good for you, either.”

            “I know, Stella told me the same thing,” Jan said. “Good night Milly.”

            “Night Jan.” Milly practically ran the rest of the way to her room. Ralph met her at the door and she picked him up and hugged him. Then she carried him in with her, sat down at her computer without even changing and started writing.

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